Inappropriate Music

[jag1]

I'm definitely not a big fan of the rap-crap, and I don't condone my kid listening to it, but she's free to listen to whatever she likes (thank goodness it's mostly Kenny Chesney or stuff I can tolerate.lol!). ....as long as she's respectful to the people around her. I have a problem with other people that force me to listen to their music, they turn up their music loud enough for the whole ballpark to hear. Really irritating

[REALLY]

I think the point which has been made over and over again in this thread and at the same time is being missed is this:

We will never be able to prevent them from hearing, or listening to this type of music

We as children listened to very similar music different lyrics but same undertones.

Then: My Dad and Mom caught me listening to Too live Crew, Motley crew, Too Short, EZ E etc... and I was in for a world of hurt. Becasue they cared and I knew it was wrong but rebeled like any teen would but deep inside I knew it was wrong, adn listened in fear.

Now: The parental hands off approach of my kid can do what they want, I can't control them etc.. "I turned out Ok" will teach them that there are no consequences.

[GIMNEPIWO]

Then goes on to suggest that "it" is available if you marry her. All well and good until you consider that marriage for the sake of sex hardly forms the cornerstone for a long lasting union. (Divorce lawyers must love this song!)

Second only to the songs that suggest how a marriage with "no sex" forms a solid cornerstone for a long lasting relationship

[DonnieS]

I think the point which has been made over and over again in this thread and at the same time is being missed is this:

We will never be able to prevent them from hearing, or listening to this type of music

We as children listened to very similar music different lyrics but same undertones.

Then: My Dad and Mom caught me listening to Too live Crew, Motley crew, Too Short, EZ E etc... and I was in for a world of hurt. Becasue they cared and I knew it was wrong but rebeled like any teen would but deep inside I knew it was wrong, adn listened in fear.

Now: The parental hands off approach of my kid can do what they want, I can't control them etc.. "I turned out Ok" will teach them that there are no consequences.

Very well said - there are two points here, you and Skarp are great at presenting the first one, that of paying attention to what our kids listen to, watch and hold up as models.

The second point is the one of lack of manners and consideration blasting people with any kind of 'music' at a level that is beyond ridiculous. The military even uses that as a weapon.

[GIMNEPIWO]

Nzane, you haven't made a single even remotely compelling argument for why it is okay to let your kid listen to that crap. Let me ask a question. What does it add to her life? What value does it bring?

Before I'm going to allow potentially harmful influences into my kids' lives, there better be a corresponding benefit that outweighs the risk of harm. So again I ask, what is the benefit? There is none.

What I"m hearing from you is that if she likes it, she shouldn't be denied it. That might be true of completely harmless privileges, but this doesn't qualify. It is a little too coincidental that the ghetto values permeating our culture have been accompanied by soaring teen pregnancy, illiteracy, institutionalized poverty, wanton violence, intrepersonal and intergenerational disrespect, materialism, selfishness, etc., etc. That "music" is both a product of and a contributor to the downward spiral.

And if you think that mass messaging isn't effective, you're dreaming. It's highly effective, as anyone in the multi-billion dollar advertisement and entertainment businesses will tell you. These entertainers are selling a lifestyle--and a value system--through their personalities, personal exploits, and lyrics. They and the industry promoting them are vested in them being "cool," because that's how they sell their product.

So if the concept of Supermanning Hoes is something you are comfortable with your daughter grooving to and, more significantly, believing is mainstream, I feel sorry for you. And that's really what we are talking about...mainstreaming the worst elements of ghetto culture. The fact that you have no problem with it merely shows how successful that mainstreaming has been.

Proof ignorance is bliss....

And I say that as the father of an 18 y/o girl, not umpire or anything else.. normal guy...

I dont know if you are trying to just limit it to perhaps just oral activities instead of the full act with her bf's by the time shes 16 or so by the MISTAKEN belief you are in control of the music because the 28 mins shes sitting with you, she doesnt get to listen to it..

But your day of redemption will not be pretty I'm sure.

Skarp does make some very good points ... and I don't disagree with his style of parenting, in that, you teach them right from wrong ... but, you have to realize when it is time to back off ... and he may not have reached that summit yet ... time and experience opens our eyes ... Skarps DD is much younger than ours Wade ... in a few years he'll be armed with the knowledge that has been bestowed upon us old farts ... A couple weeks ago I met this 45 yo woman at the gym, never been married, no kids ... she was teaching a 'Parenting Class' ... maybe she has a degree ... but she couldn't raise a turnip ....

[Coach11]

There are not many "bad" songs on her Ipod. She's let me listen to it. It's probably 10-1, and prolly less than that. But, I not gonna censor it. You talk about "Ghetto Culture". I wont even say anything about that comment.

But, you do say the "Ghetto Culture" is a factor in many things, including teen pregnancy. It's not from the music. I'll give you an example. When I was 16, I knew a 15 year old girl. Very cute. Dad was VERY protective. No rated R movies, no phone calls to boys, when I went to visit her, we couldnt even leave the driveway. She was into sports, and had good grades. Well, let me tell you. I snuck into her room at 2am. I wont get into specifics. But, 4 of my other friend also snuck into her room, all on different nights. She became pregnant at 17. My point is, you CAN be overprotective, and cause even a good kid to snap, or do "bad".

I dont wanna fight with you on this, but I just think, to a point, let your kid have a mind of their own....

Wife and I each have cousins that were raised in very strict over protective households. I'm not talking about their parents having monitered what TV/movies they watched, and what music they listened to....I'm talking about what they were permitted to watch and listen to. Both very strict christian households.....both attended private catholic schools.

Both, were the only ones in either family to have children out of wedlock.

The only one of my close friends from my youth to attend an all boys private school, is also the only one still drinking and snorting like a rock star at 44 yrs. old.

Coincidence? Maybe. But I believe "protecting" children from the "ills of society", often leaves them unprepared for how to handle themselves when they are eventually exposed and on their own.

All that said....it's still unnacceptable to blast any music while game sare being played.

[Fanof12]

By playing the music you are condoning it. That means you buy into the idea that all women are sluts, because that's what this music is about.

Any questions?

[REALLY]

I can"t help but see the ironic humor in the thought patterns posted here:

It's Ok to listen to music which demeans women during a "girls youth" softball game. A time when coaches, managers and parents "should" be instilling strong values of empowerment, morals, sportsmanship and Female equality. As we shouldn't control what they listen too.
With this exception not based on lyrical content, sexual undertones (around 10-17 year olds), grown men and women providing music which suggest sexual acts (Around 10-17 year olds), but because it might distract another team on the other fields 60 feet away. You people have absolutely friggin lost your minds. Lose the whole my cousin bit as well, bad parenting is bad parenting regardless of methods used whether it be the ship them off to private school or let them run free, because for every unwed mother who went to private school I can provide 1000 who had parents that let them do what they wanted, didn't care what they listened too and for most of them they have multiple children from multiple fathers (or atleast the ones who didn't "superman the ho") Good luck being a grandparent in your thirties

[DonnieS]

wife and I each have cousins that were raised in very strict over protective households. I'm not talking about their parents having monitered what TV/movies they watched, and what music they listened to....I'm talking about what they were permitted to watch and listen to. Both very strict christian households.....both attended private catholic schools.

Both, were the only ones in either family to have children out of wedlock.

The only one of my close friends from my youth to attend an all boys private school, is also the only one still drinking and snorting like a rock star at 44 yrs. old.
All that said....it's still unnacceptable to blast any music while game sare being played.

As one that attended private catholic schools for quite a while, what I saw was three groups that were there. One, kids like us whose folks wanted us to get as much religious educaton as we could for as long as they could afford it, and two, the kids that had been kicked out of every public school it town and three, those kids whose parent saw they were drifting and wanted to pay someone else to raise them.

[Coach11]

bad parenting is bad parenting regardless of methods used

No doubt....just offering my own observations which contrast those that believe limiting their childs exposure is a positive.