The Pub

by **NumeroUno** » Mon Nov 09, 2009 3:12 pm

THE DUCK IS DEAD

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. Asshe laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said,

"I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," replied the vet.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested... "I mean you haven't done

any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or

something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room.

He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on

his hind legs,put his front paws on the examination table and

sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet

with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head

and took it out of the room.

A few minutes later he returned with a cat.

The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the

bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its

head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I

said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and

produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.

"$250?" she cried, "$250 just to tell me my duck is dead?"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word

for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and

the Cat Scan, it's now $250.

by **NumeroUno** » Mon Nov 09, 2009 9:47 pm

What a coincidence I posted it drunk

by **Blind Squirrel** » Mon Nov 09, 2009 9:55 pm

I found it offensive.

by **NumeroUno** » Mon Nov 09, 2009 10:51 pm

by **K'SDAD** » Mon Nov 09, 2009 11:02 pm

What if I post about a croaked frog? :twisted:

by **Blind Squirrel** » Tue Nov 10, 2009 8:13 am

NumeroUno wrote::?:

My post was primarily me making fun of my overreaction to the Muslim joke in another thread. It was also kind of an oblique inside joke that I knew few people would get. Oh crap, I feel myself getting really emotional again. I guess I picked the wrong week to quit doing speedballs.

Baby Squirrel on a Meat Hook