Player Leaving Mid Season!

[Sam]

I have found a lot of good softball advice here, first post.

This has happened too many times to count I'm sure? What do you think about a player leaving a team mid season (second season) with no warning out of the blue to pursue a better opportunity. Never had a complaint, plays all the time, great kid, great teammate, seemingly great parents then find out player and parents didnt like coaching, teammates, etc...more than likely BS to justify leaving.

Would you owe them anything? Refund of team fundraising, reimbursement for tournaments already commited to and payed for, etc...

Feeling no obligation to them, should I.....?

Rule of Thumb:

You leave because you want to....no soup for you...you get nothing.

You leave because I want you to....prorated refund.

[SnocatzDad]

This is all pretty mild reaction to a very sensitive subject. In our area it's not uncommon for people to be vilified for leaving a team after the end of the season, much less during an active season.

Of course it's hard to say what constitutes the season around here as I look out my window and see snow falling, tough to say the season has started.

I hate to be a cynic, but realistically the level of commitment a team is guaranteed from a player is equal to the size of the check that the player gives to the team. If at any time there are factors that entice that player to leave that mean more than that monetary commitment, some will leave. Whether they are looking to get away from something, or are looking to go towards something new, there is nothing binding holding them in place. As a member of the team being left behind, I don't want anyone on the team that doesn't want to be there, so I agree that you shake hands, wish them well and accept that they did pay a least a monetary penalty for their infidelity. If I was the player leaving, I'd have no expectation of getting a refund for reneging on my commitment and better have thick enough skin to understand that not everyone is going to see this in a positive light regardless of the circumstance, and that if it becomes an annual ritual there is a stigma attached to players who are constantly walking away from teams and if I do get a pass for doing this once, I won't get that pass again.

Personally, when my daughter changed teams it was after the season was over and she wanted an opportunity to play with a team that practiced year round and was more active in the summer. We left a very good community travel program that just wasn't a good fit for her anymore because some in it were looking to play and practice less while some were like us looking to do more and the constant stress of trying to put together a team of 12 kids who wanted the same thing was just overwhelming. There were still some angry people, but we were upfront about her decision and for the most part people have respected that. There are others that made the same decision slightly later who are being vilified despite that decision still being made in the off-season.

Whether it's off season, early or mid-season life is to short to get worked up about a kid leaving the team who doesn't want to be there, but don't feel you have a financial obligation to pro-rate their fees.

[ArmChairCoach]

What do you think about a player leaving a team mid season (second season) with no warning out of the blue to pursue a better opportunity.

Feeling no obligation to them, should I.....?

First of all, No - In this case it seems you are correct in feeling no obligation to them. My opinion is that a coach is obliged to provide development, opportunity, and exposure for his players, as well as to treat them with respect, dignity, and honesty. It seems here the parents went out on their own to look for a better opportunity and better exposure. This is usually where the debate begins. It always seems that the grass is always greener on the other side. I've witnessed first hand, parents and their DDs leaving a great situation because they "thought" there was a better opportunity somewhere else. I even know some girls who have missed out on National Championships because they thought there was better opportunity somewhere else.

I'm sure you as a coach felt a commitment to that player in your duties, as do hundreds of other coaches. I just wish some of these parents felt the same commitment towards the teams they start the season with. Because this really creates a hardship on the coach, the team, and the remaining girls. Especially if you have told other interested players in your team, "no, sorry - we'd love to have you but we have that position covered already". Now all of sudden, you're looking to fill that spot.

Sams rule of thumb is exactly right and is usually universal. But I do believe coaches in general, should never hold any girl back if the opportunity is obvious. For example, an exception of a mid-season move may be the move from a B team to an A team. But it doesn't sound like this is your situation since BS was given as the reason for leaving.

Question for thought: Does ASA need to start freezing players to rosters once a top 3 or top 5 finish is achieved. Then only allow a team 3 roster moves after freezing?? Would this help cut down on mid-season moves? Doesn't USSSA do this? Just questions!

[fasterpitch92701]

I wonder what the new team coach will be thinking when the player/parents say everything is wonderful at the new team?

In lieu of extenuating circumstances (of which someone can always drag up some obtuse senario) leaving mid-season is, IMHO, callous. Not raising the issues (since there apparently were issues) with the coach leaves the impression that there are two things not to like about the player/parents; their face. Locally we have had girls with a reputation for being constantly "shopped" and... it would be myopic not to think that word gets out. Amazingly...shocking revelation...., the better teams say "no thank you" and the girls usually end up on a marginal new team where they can start their shopping yet once again. Ohhhh.... the grass is ALWAYS greener...

and to the original question; you owe them n-o-t-h-i-n-g

[Iluvblue]

The following is a letter i received from a parent that had his daughter on my team for about 5 weeks:


Hello XXXX,
Just wanted to let you know how excited I was when my daughter XXXX made your team. Your reputation as a coach proceeds you. In just the short time I have been around you it is clear to me why you have the rep. as a great coach.I realize my daughter is an average player and that she is second string on your team and if I was still coaching I would have her in the same roll.I was just looking forward to all she would learn from you and her older team mates. However my wife and I have spent 13 years to teach her sportsmanship and to never QUIT! I can not expect my daughter to never give up on a play or to give up during a game if her coach will QUIT in the middle of a tournament! Even though I realize this will not affect you or your team , the decision to have her quit your team is very difficult for me because of my belief to never QUIT.Thanks for the time you did spend with her.
Regretfully,
XXXXXXXXXX



Now what happened is this. We were playing in a tournament that decided to have a consolation bracket. Never in my years of attending this organizations tournaments had they had a consolation bracket. When we lost on Sunday, i thought we were done. then a parent told me there is a consolation bracket. i go look, and see no matter who our opponent would be, it would not be pretty(both teams were terrible) ugly game.

My daughter was playing in a college tournament that same day, since our team was done, I was going to watch her play. I informed all parents we would not stick around and wait almost 4 HOURS to play a 1 game consolation against a weak team, and go home. I informed the tournament people and the opposing teams we would not stay for that last game.


As a result, this kid quits. In reality, this was the excuse they were looking for. This was the only time a kid has quit on me, but you should never have hard feelings. if a player wants to leave your team, no matter how good the kid is, no matter what the impact on your team, just let them go. This is a kids game, it isnt worth the headache. Why would you possibly want parents on your team that dont want to be there. They will cause problems later.

Refunds?? No way.

[Judd]

The following is a letter i received from a parent that had his daughter on my team for about 5 weeks:


Hello XXXX,
Just wanted to let you know how excited I was when my daughter XXXX made your team. Your reputation as a coach proceeds you. In just the short time I have been around you it is clear to me why you have the rep. as a great coach.I realize my daughter is an average player and that she is second string on your team and if I was still coaching I would have her in the same roll.I was just looking forward to all she would learn from you and her older team mates. However my wife and I have spent 13 years to teach her sportsmanship and to never QUIT! I can not expect my daughter to never give up on a play or to give up during a game if her coach will QUIT in the middle of a tournament! Even though I realize this will not affect you or your team , the decision to have her quit your team is very difficult for me because of my belief to never QUIT.Thanks for the time you did spend with her.
Regretfully,
XXXXXXXXXX



Now what happened is this. We were playing in a tournament that decided to have a consolation bracket. Never in my years of attending this organizations tournaments had they had a consolation bracket. When we lost on Sunday, i thought we were done. then a parent told me there is a consolation bracket. i go look, and see no matter who our opponent would be, it would not be pretty(both teams were terrible) ugly game.

My daughter was playing in a college tournament that same day, since our team was done, I was going to watch her play. I informed all parents we would not stick around and wait almost 4 HOURS to play a 1 game consolation against a weak team, and go home. I informed the tournament people and the opposing teams we would not stay for that last game.


As a result, this kid quits. In reality, this was the excuse they were looking for. This was the only time a kid has quit on me, but you should never have hard feelings. if a player wants to leave your team, no matter how good the kid is, no matter what the impact on your team, just let them go. This is a kids game, it isnt worth the headache. Why would you possibly want parents on your team that dont want to be there. They will cause problems later.

Refunds?? No way.

I have a DD who is trying to get pitching time and I hope if we get into one of those ugly games, she'll see the circle. From my view, this parent may have felt that this game may have been an opportunity for his DD to see more field time. I understand your reasons for not staying, just giving you a different view you may not have considered.

For the record, we stuck with one team for the whole summer, even though they only played 4 or 5 tournaments all summer. The next season on a different team, we saw the writing on the wall and left mid-season. I never asked for anything back nor did I expect anything back. monetary penalty

[Iluvblue]

I can see what you are talking about, but even if you did hope to get some time in the circle,would you have up and quit over that? especially without even talking to the coach? My point was that they wanted out, and that was the excuse they were waiting for.

[Phantom]

I'd say commitment works both ways but honesty is the best policy

[coolstuff]

Now what happened is this. We were playing in a tournament that decided to have a consolation bracket. Never in my years of attending this organizations tournaments had they had a consolation bracket. When we lost on Sunday, i thought we were done. then a parent told me there is a consolation bracket. i go look, and see no matter who our opponent would be, it would not be pretty(both teams were terrible) ugly game.

My daughter was playing in a college tournament that same day, since our team was done, I was going to watch her play. I informed all parents we would not stick around and wait almost 4 HOURS to play a 1 game consolation against a weak team, and go home. I informed the tournament people and the opposing teams we would not stay for that last game.

I've seen this before at an indoor tournament. The issue was that the games were at some ungodly hour. Luckily this didn't happen to our team, but the teams that were scheduled to show up, mind you after already losing in the main bracket, and then again in the "losers" bracket, just said "No, we're not doing this." The entire "consolation" bracket was cancelled because it was just insane.

[DonnieS]

The entire "consolation" bracket was cancelled because it was just insane.

I was hoping someone would say that.