Views and Advice from a Freshman Father

[jonriv]

After several years of recruiting trips, showcase, TB tournaments etc..... This year was my DD's Freshman year in college and her "rookie" year in college softball. The transition was interesting to say the least. There were several adjustments my DD had to make and probably more that I had to make. Being the parent of a freshman on a college team can be a very frustrating and humbling experience.........

First of all- adjustments for the Player

1) Playing time- limited playing time and/or bench riding is a reality for most Freshman. My friend refers to as "Freshman Orientation" As much time maintaining spray charts and pitch counts as playing sometimes. Can be tough for some who started all four years in HS. Some girls sit for 2-3 years

2) Being on your own without someone telling you what to do all the time

3) Physical work-outs- Most players have not lifted weights or down the conditioning that they will discover in college

4) Balancing studies,softball and a social life(and sleep)

5) Dealing with the pressure to perform when playing(especially with less playing time)

6) Playing with other players who were all the "best" from their own HS

7)coaches changing swings, bats etc.....

8) aches and pains of a long season

For the parents-

1) Dealing with a load of other parents as nuts as you are

2) Dealing with DD not playing as much as you would like

3) Not being able to talk to the coaches(to help coach your DD)

4) Five hour round trips to games

5) Hard to watch video streaming from games

My DD has dealt with it all much better than I have(no surprise). She realizes that the players ahead of her are upper classmen and that for her to earn their spots she will need to outplay them to earn their spots. She is determined to work hard and to perform at her best when called upon. She has gotten quite a bit of playing time(not as much as I would like ) and has had some glory to go with it. She loves her teammates and her coaches- best of all she is getting a World Class education(in a way, so am I)

So I will continue to go(team is in the conf champs) and cheer the team and absolutely cherish the fact she is playing at this level.

[Sam]

Well, it could be better and it could be worse. In the end, your kid is getting paid to play the game she loves.....and you get to watch your little girl for a few more years.....and that is a good thing. Those of us who no longer have that privilege are understandably jealous of your misery.

[jonriv]

No misery at all-actually loving every minute. Just passing the experience on.

As for getting paid to play???????? She is at a Div III school- more like $50-$60k to play

Remember Sam-despite what you read on some posts- the majority of college softball players are not on scholarship

[Sftbll4ever]

My oldest is a sophomore in college. Everythingyou said is so true. Others I had to deal with last year:

DD sick for first time and nothing you can do to help.

DD suffered season ending injury and not being able to hold her hand and console her.

Having to nurse her back to health from surgery in a week to get back in school.

Trying to say encouraging things when they call and are home sick and want to come home.

All I can say, this year was much easier except that we dealt with two loses of friends and the depression of not being able to be here for the services or family. Only good thing about the 2nd one, season will be over for her so she can come home for the 2nd one.

They all have a hard time when they realize life continues without them.

[GIMNEPIWO]

After several years of recruiting trips, showcase, TB tournaments etc..... This year was my DD's Freshman year in college and her "rookie" year in college softball. The transition was interesting to say the least. There were several adjustments my DD had to make and probably more that I had to make. Being the parent of a freshman on a college team can be a very frustrating and humbling experience.........

First of all- adjustments for the Player

1) Playing time- limited playing time and/or bench riding is a reality for most Freshman. My friend refers to as "Freshman Orientation" As much time maintaining spray charts and pitch counts as playing sometimes. Can be tough for some who started all four years in HS. Some girls sit for 2-3 year

2) Being on your own without someone telling you what to do all the time

3) Physical work-outs- Most players have not lifted weights or down the conditioning that they will discover in college

4) Balancing studies,softball and a social life(and sleep)

5) Dealing with the pressure to perform when playing(especially with less playing time)

6) Playing with other players who were all the "best" from their own HS

7)coaches changing swings, bats etc.....

8) aches and pains of a long season

For the parents-

1) Dealing with a load of other parents as nuts as you are

2) Dealing with DD not playing as much as you would like

3) Not being able to talk to the coaches(to help coach your DD)

4) Five hour round trips to games

5) Hard to watch video streaming from games

My DD has dealt with it all much better than I have(no surprise). She realizes that the players ahead of her are upper classmen and that for her to earn their spots she will need to outplay them to earn their spots. She is determined to work hard and to perform at her best when called upon. She has gotten quite a bit of playing time(not as much as I would like ) and has had some glory to go with it. She loves her teammates and her coaches- best of all she is getting a World Class education(in a way, so am I)

So I will continue to go(team is in the conf champs) and cheer the team and absolutely cherish the fact she is playing at this level.

You forgot to mention the rigors of beer pong ...
As a D3 Walk-On last year DD saw very little playing time and did not complain once ... As a Sophomore she has batted 4th and played every inning of every game and they are going to Regionals ... So, hang tough Dad ...

[Comp]

In my case Im literally within a week of it all ending. Daughter is a Senior, and while it has been a fun ride, after 9+ years of travel ball, HS, JC and College it think I will have both relief and sadness at the same time. It has been a journey watching her develop and come into her own. In her case the transition was much easier as she spent 2 years at a local Juco before heading off to school, so she was much more ready for the transition to being on her own. Saw way to many other kids leave high school directly for out of town big colleges and struggle.

She has had a good career and a spectacular senior season. Looks like her team will be going to conference and she has been well in the top of the conference stats all season. I hope her team shows well and really gives her something to remember the rest of her life. As I have told her many times when she was degected and talking about wanting to quit, you only get so many years to play, and once they are gone you cant get them back. Enjoy it while you can, do the best you possibly can and have memories to last you a lifetime.

Now for her coaching career to begin.

[3'sDad]

G: You are playing Daddy ball with your DD's in beer pong career. Shame on you.

I minored in 8 ball & darts in college....bought very few beers back in the day. Ben Franklin & Col. Henry Rutgers were tough fellows to defeat, they didn't like to pay for tankards of ale @ Old Queens.

[DonnieS]

JR and the rest of you, enjoy everyday of it. I did my DD1's first year, kind of went overboard trying to see every game and out of state tournaments. A couple of folks said 'Donnie, really .. you are going that far to see her play...' And my words were, 'Yep, you never know what tomorrow brings.' I will never forget that year - dont miss yours.


I am hoping to see DD1 playing again soon - she took a break for a while - and is looking to get back into playing again. It would blow me away to be that lucky twice in one life with her, specially now that DD2 is getting ready to make that big step. Wish I wasnt so old - I would have another, well , of course with dw's help. One of the few things that guys cant do ALL by themselves.

[Jayhawk]

My daughter is finishing her freshman year as well.

One thing I did not expect was how expensive it has been traveling to watch her play. It is something that people don't take into account in the travel ball to college transition. When your kid achieves her goal of playing in college you really want to watch her play. I have spent 20 some odd nights in hotels traveling to and watching her since this February. I have missed lots of work as well. I do have a decent job that I could afford it but I also have a job where I don't get paid unless I am there so it has been a mixed bag. I have not gone to all of her games but probably 2/3 of them.

My wife has been to less than a third as we have a younger one at home and my wife is primarily the one taking her to practices\tourneys etc. in a sport I do not enjoy as much. (volleyball)

I will say that I have learned to enjoy the automatic waffle maker at the breakfast buffet in the various Comfort Inn and Suites I have stayed at this spring.

My daughter seems to really be enjoying herself and that is a biggie.

I have really liked the other players parents. The university she is at is in the midwest and 7 of the 12-13 or so who see any action are from California\Arizona so there are only about 3-4 other sets of parents that go regularly. One guy has been to every single game.

Overall playing time went better than expected but has been a rollercoaster as well. She is a pitcher who is a good hitter and she has got to perform doing both. She started out the first fourth of the season not playing much at all which we expected. Then the middle half of the season she played nearly every game. She pitched quite a bit (as the number 3) and she either DP'd or pinch hit in most games she did not pitch. She even played a few games in right which she was not used to just to get her bat in the lineup. As the season is now winding down she has played her way back to the bench. She has really good numbers hitting and pitching but she struck out looking twice in crucial situations during a week and it was back to the doghouse she went. (deservedly so) He has pretty much just stuck with the two senior pitchers the last couple of double headers and they have both been on a roll. My daughter has better numbers but those numbers were primarily racked up against weaker opponents. My daughter did get kind of down about playing her way into the lineup in two spots only to lose them but that is the way it goes. Even though her playing time over these last couple of weeks will probably be very limited she has played well enough that her future looks really bright with the program.

All players are really good and that takes some getting used to. If you screw up just a little there will be two or three or more just as capable to step up and take your place. You basically need to perform every pitch of every game and that is a mindset that is hard for my freshman daughter to wrap her head around. You cannot afford to take a pitch off. There are no "friendlies" or easy walkover opponents.

This program has become successful in a short period and that always makes everybody feel better. Just two years ago they finished a string of a few years where they barely got to 10 wins a season. The new coach came in last year and they broke .500. They should end up with around a .650-.700 winning percentage this year. They did have a riculously long winning streak in the middle of the season and my kid was contributing in some way just about every game during it.

Being a freshman does have it's advantages because it is the one time where expectations are lower.

One thing that is shocking is how many girls wash out of a program in a year. With this being a relatively new coach he brought in a large number of freshmen in my daughter's class. (7) Only three are left and one of those has been hurt most of the year. The four who left during the fall and winter went for a variety of reasons- grades for one, two transfered because they figured out playing time would be sparse, and one I don't know. Signing the scholarship is only part of the battle to becoming a college softball player- getting out onto the field is another thing entirely.

When it gets down to it I was surprised how fun this freshman year has been. I would say it has been one of the more enjoyable parts of the softball experiences that my daughter has had. Same goes for me watching her.

[ontheblack]

These threads are the best part of HB.

In her case the transition was much easier as she spent 2 years at a local Juco before heading off to school, so she was much more ready for the transition to being on her own. Saw way to many other kids leave high school directly for out of town big colleges and struggle.

JuCo is a big part of football. How much does it play in softball?