Mad coaches yelling at players help?

[playascabbie]

List of teams with "abusive" head coaches in 12-U due to yelling (from what I've witnessed) at girls on the field;
STRIKEFORCE98
USA A's 98
CA 98
STRIKEFORCE98
VICTORY USA 98
RAWLINGS 98
STRIKEFORCE98
DIRT DOGS98
SMASH 98
STRIKEFORCE98
AM PASTIME 98
FC98
STRIKEFORCE98
BB98
etc..............The list goes on...
I guess since i've seen practically every teams coach "yell" at a player at least once or twice in the duration of a game against my dd's team, that would make them all abusive... right!?
"What a bunch of neandrethals!"??? Someone please put a stop to it!!!!
Put your precious lil princesses in ballet then... oh wait a minute, there are coaches there that yell too
What'll we do!!!???
PLEASE... Give it a rest

You should seriously reread what Porcupine wrote, and attempt to understand the concept. Your list is missing a few coaches who are much like those being described. You have included on your list several really good coaches, who are well respected. Personally I would take offensive at your comparison. I question your derogatory description of young athletes who may not "thrive" in a negative environment as "precious lil princesses". I will guarantee that the more successful a child is, the harder they work to be successful.

[Missinit]

I don't know if I'm repeating somebody else, I did not read every reply.

To those of you that are trying to justify yelling, I doubt most of you would EVER take the same from your boss' and your adults... being paid be there. Yet you think it's alright for your kids?

Most of the time a coach yelling is nothing more than a lack of self control yet he is supposed to be teaching his players how to control themselves to become better players.

I understand there are some good coach's that are yellers but the fact is it isn't the yelling that makes them coach's, it's their knowlege. It's been proven over and over again that the knowlege can be relayed with out yelling.
And to those that are trying to say it's for motivation, that's also been done time after time with out the yelling.

Bottom line, why would you subject your kid to something YOU would never put up with and probably try to teach your kid not to do?

[6-4-3=2]

I think this article pretty much speaks for itself!

25 Things Your Players Wish You Knew
by Stacie Mahoe~AllAboutFastpitch.com~August 12th, 2010.

Ultimately our goal as coaches is to help our players improve. In order to do that to the best of our ability, it’s important that we know more about them than just the superficial softball stuff. The more we understand our players and what makes them tick the easier it will be for us to coach them effectively. With that in mind, here are…

1. I have fears and worries on and off the field. If you can help me resolve my softball fears and worries, you become someone I want to listen to.

2. It means a lot to me when you take the time to acknowledge my effort and commitment.

3. I don’t mind putting in the time, as long as I feel it’s well spent.

4. There are times I don’t understand the concepts you’re teaching or the points you’re trying to make. Can you make them clearer for me?

5. Not all adults I’ve seen deserve my respect so my trust and respect are not something you get “just because” you’re supposed to.

6. I know I make mistakes and I appreciate it when you acknowledge that you do too.

7. My trust and respect for your grows when you simply do what you say you will do.

8. Sometimes I don’t understand why we do the things we do, but I may not say anything because it makes me feel dumb.

9. You’re my coach. If I’m not allowed to have “excuses” neither are you. I don’t want to hear your excuses any more than you want to hear mine.

10. My progress as a player is more important to me than your advancement or promotion as a coach.

11. All the coaching accolades and praise you get from others mean nothing to me if you can’t help me get better.

12. I hate getting yelled at, but I love to win.

13. What you think you’re good at is not what you’re good at. Ask me, and I’ll tell you what you do better than anyone else.

14. Sometimes I am insecure about my ability, but it’s not something I talk about much, if at all.

15. I don’t always know exactly what I want, but you can help me figure it out.

16. I already know you’re not perfect and you don’t know everything, so stop trying to act like it because I plan on giving you a chance anyway.

17. I trust you more when you’re honest enough to tell me what you don’t know.

18. It’s harder for me to keep working my butt off when I feel like it doesn’t matter to anyone.

19. You lose respect from me when I can see that you’re more worried about how you look as a coach rather than how I play as a player.

20. I understand that you like players who work hard. Heck I appreciate those types of players as a teammate, but it’s annoying when you favor players who don’t deserve it.

21. Sometimes it’s less scary to just keep doing things the old “hard” way than to learn something new.

22. My life, my fears, my goals, my challenges, and my dreams are different from anyone you’ve ever coached before.

23. The fear of trying my best and still coming up short can sometimes stop me from trying at all.

24. Help me believe that my best IS good enough and this will be an amazing experience for both of us.

25. Once you’re earned my trust and respect, you can mess up every now and then and I will forgive you (so long as I don’t feel like you take me for granted).

[dagrizz101]

I feel like this topic can go either way and there is no right or wrong answer.....What it really comes down to is the type of player you are coaching.....Ive seen girls who just absolutely do not bounce back after being yelled at and break down and cry and which basically shows you that they are just metally weak....where on the other hand some girls love being challenged and called out, yelling at them just fires them up and elevates their game....no two players react the same way, but you do find that the players who play at the next level can deal with agressive coaches!!

[fastpitchdad05]

I feel like this topic can go either way and there is no right or wrong answer.....What it really comes down to is the type of player you are coaching.....Ive seen girls who just absolutely do not bounce back after being yelled at and break down and cry and which basically shows you that they are just metally weak....where on the other hand some girls love being challenged and called out, yelling at them just fires them up and elevates their game....no two players react the same way, but you do find that the players who play at the next level can deal with agressive coaches!!

Good comments. However, I think it's important to note that "deal(ing) with" and "learning, respecting and improving one's game from" are two completely different things.

I dealt with my High School basketball coach yelling at us, but it certainly didn't make me a better player. As a matter of fact, it made me tune him out sometimes. I'm sure that's not what he was hoping for.

[dagrizz101]

Very true It is always important to have your team with you and never to lose them mentally....good point!!!

[Sftbll4ever]

I feel like this topic can go either way and there is no right or wrong answer.....What it really comes down to is the type of player you are coaching.....Ive seen girls who just absolutely do not bounce back after being yelled at and break down and cry and which basically shows you that they are just metally weak....where on the other hand some girls love being challenged and called out, yelling at them just fires them up and elevates their game....no two players react the same way, but you do find that the players who play at the next level can deal with agressive coaches!!

So when a child is being cussed out and yelled at and she doesn't cry, but is close to quiting because of it, does that make her weak?

I'm sure some people that know my kid will say she is mentally strong, but that took years of work by her parents and also finding coaches who teach by not yelling. My kid LOVES to be challenged. Just tell her she can't do it and she will prove that she can. There are many ways to get a point across without having to yell, and that does not make them weak.

I agree that the topic can go either way. But to call a child mentally weak because they can't handle it, wow. May as well tell them that a little slap is ok.

I feel that there are times when a coach does/can yell at a child, but that depends on the situation (sound levels around the game).

But coming from an abusive childhood myself, yelling is NEVER acceptable in my eyes. That comes from my up bringing though.

[lucky]

YOU can pick a coach/team for YOUR daughter, and I can pick a coach/team for MY daughter.

I won't tell YOUR coach how to coach YOUR daughter, please don't tell MY coach how to coach MY daughter, deal?

[joaquinjunior]

As a Coach myself. You don't have to be Mad to Yell. its just a way of coaching. Nothing personal. We still love the girls.

[sofbal1234]

YOU can pick a coach/team for YOUR daughter, and I can pick a coach/team for MY daughter.

I won't tell YOUR coach how to coach YOUR daughter, please don't tell MY coach how to coach MY daughter, deal?

Thank you Lucky GREAT "DEAL"!!!! Debate that otb!!! Mr. Know-it-all!!!