What if she said, " IM DONE"- No more softball ?

[Skarp]

Skarp --

There is a risk even in your model. As I look back to my teen years spent in the Neolithic period. I recall many interests that are with me to this day (religion being one) that came as a result of unstructured, free time... time to think, time to wonder, time to meet lots of different kinds of people. I recall spending about two hours daily on homework, two to three hours on high school sport, generally year round, and LOTS of time just hanging with friends. I rarely did more than 2-3 hours of homework on a weekend, and of course "travel" sports did not exist then, leaving my week-ends gererally free.

The risk is that opportunities for increasing self awareness found only in free, unstructured time will be missed. I'm not holding forth that this risk is greater than the risk in not pursuing identified interests or talents, just that there is no such thing as a free lunch and there are downside risks to both highly programmed and highly unstructured high school lives.

Obviously my conversation was hypothetical. Luckily dd has always enjoyed the sport enough to maintain a high level of commitment to it over and above her heavy academic workload. And yet, in spite of all of that, she still finds an absurd amount of personal time to spend as she likes. Which is fine, because she earns it. Her commitment to the important things gives me a degree of confidence that she can be trusted to not go completely AWOL in her unstructured time.

Speaking of unstructured adolescent time and the relative risks and benefits thereof, I'm pretty much the world's foremost expert on the topic. And the tangible risks far outweigh the nebulous benefits you identify, particularly where there isn't some sort of structured regime (with schedules, articulated goals, etc.) in place. Too much free time and you can bet your bottom dollar that kids will figure out how to misuse it.

[HotBox]

[houfastpitch]

My dd is 13 and in the 8th grade. She plays volleyball & basketball in school. She has to do the practice after school and the softball practice 2 time a week(51miles each way). She goes to pitching leasons at least once a week and pitches at home at least 3 time a week 4 if possible. Yea she gets tired at times and some times will ask for a break and most times I will make sure she gets the time off she needs. She gets about 3 weaks off around the holidays and when she comes back she is ready to go. She don't loos it because she took a little time off. What it all comes down to. Is she doing for you or her? Is she playing because she loves the game? Is she dedicated to the team and her team mates? For my dd she just loves softball and at the end of the weekend she says Dad, What would I do without softball in my life?

[Joe]

What if she said, " IM DONE"- No more softball ?

Umm, well then...with any luck, she's got about 70 years to go.

Write it down as history, start working towards a career that leaves her independent and satisfied....and help her focus her competitiveness towards the 'real' game....

...life.

[watcher]

1) I would say "tell it to the coach"

2) I would ask "how the hell are you going to pay for the rest of college & med-school"