What if she said, " IM DONE"- No more softball ?

[homerunnerfan]

Thank you for your input,very good information. When I said a break from fall I meant not commiting and picking up, continue lessons ( batting and pitching). No she didnt ask, but shes just not as excited and eager as she use to be. Good Info, greatly appreciate it !

Here's my take and I have a DD (pitcher) who just signed her NLI to play in college at a large D1 school in TX.

First......you didn't say if your DD was asking to take off or if you are just trying to stay one step ahead in case the question comes up.
Second......if she's strong and athletic taking a fall break from ANY sport is not gonna hurt her at age 12. Many times they will come back more excited and eager to play. There isn't a college out there that is looking at 7th graders for women's sports.
Third.....most 12 year olds don't have a clue on a specific sport they may want to play in college.
Fourth.....If she asks and you force her to play then you've messed up. If she asks, remember the word compromise. A good thing would be "Hey I know you want a break right now but do you think we could go out a throw the ball together a couple of times a month?"

Lastly........the age/time you have to worry about most is their Freshman year of high school (age 14). Burnout is most often at this age and your kid will discover boys and all the other distractions that go along with high school.

Good luck, believe in your kid and she will reward you many times over.

[nsidethelines]

Thank you for your input,very good information. When I said a break from fall I meant not commiting and picking up, continue lessons ( batting and pitching). No she didnt ask, but shes just not as excited and eager as she use to be. Good Info, greatly appreciate it !

Here's my take and I have a DD (pitcher) who just signed her NLI to play in college at a large D1 school in TX.

First......you didn't say if your DD was asking to take off or if you are just trying to stay one step ahead in case the question comes up.
Second......if she's strong and athletic taking a fall break from ANY sport is not gonna hurt her at age 12. Many times they will come back more excited and eager to play. There isn't a college out there that is looking at 7th graders for women's sports.
Third.....most 12 year olds don't have a clue on a specific sport they may want to play in college.
Fourth.....If she asks and you force her to play then you've messed up. If she asks, remember the word compromise. A good thing would be "Hey I know you want a break right now but do you think we could go out a throw the ball together a couple of times a month?"

Lastly........the age/time you have to worry about most is their Freshman year of high school (age 14). Burnout is most often at this age and your kid will discover boys and all the other distractions that go along with high school.

Good luck, believe in your kid and she will reward you many times over.

What is missing is the brutal truth. If your kids is the "one", she will want it. It has to be around the age of 12-14 or sooner. If she is just gonna be a participant, then let her be. Too often I see us, parents, coaches, and even players trying to make a superb athlete out of a participant. Being a participant is okay. If your child really has a gift, I mean really, then go for it. If you are trying to make an Indian out of a few feathers, then you have to know that too.

I hear that word, "burn out" way too much these days. If you keep it fun, there will be no such thing. Best of luck and Happy New Year!

[Skarp]

DD: "Dad, I'm done with softball."

Me: "Oh really? Interesting. That's a lot of blood, sweat, and tears (not to mention money) to put into something that you are just going to quit. But if that's your choice, I'll support it. So which sport are you replacing it with...or perhaps you intend to finally start taking the piano seriously?"

DD: "Uhh...well...I figured I'd just focus on school."

Me (After laughing my ass off for about 10 minutes): "Which means you want to spend every second you can scrape up hanging out with your friends and otherwise doing nothing constructive whatsoever. Since that's not happening in a million years, let me help you understand your choice a little better. Either you participate seriously in some sport or constructive activity, or you sit home doing long division. No texting, no facebook, no hanging out...nothing. Oh, and no driving next year. So, since you suck less at softball than other sports, I suggest you get changed...you're going to be late for practice."

DD: "Now that I think about it, what would I do without softball in my life? Warm up the car dad...I'll be right out!"

[mike bryan]

Going through it now. My daughter said she was "done" with softball after this fall season and wanted to focus on volleyball. No drama involved at all.... Great coach, talented girls, and great parents. I must say I am relieved b/c I knew she was getting physically and mentally exhausted. Shuffling practices and games got tricky at times as well as paying for both. Going to nationals in both got expensive too but was worth every penny. DBAT(Mulvaney) was a blast to be on. In my opinion, I don't think you should worry too much about your daughter losing her edge or falling too far behind. An athlete is an athlete that will adjust and adapt when the time comes. At this age they should be having FUN while developing. I would like to thank DBAT, Glory, And FM Blue Angels for developing my girl.

[pbj2000]

DD: "Dad, I'm done with softball."

Me: "Oh really? Interesting. That's a lot of blood, sweat, and tears (not to mention money) to put into something that you are just going to quit. But if that's your choice, I'll support it. So which sport are you replacing it with...or perhaps you intend to finally start taking the piano seriously?"

DD: "Uhh...well...I figured I'd just focus on school."

Me (After laughing my ass off for about 10 minutes): "Which means you want to spend every second you can scrape up hanging out with your friends and otherwise doing nothing constructive whatsoever. Since that's not happening in a million years, let me help you understand your choice a little better. Either you participate seriously in some sport or constructive activity, or you sit home doing long division. No texting, no facebook, no hanging out...nothing. Oh, and no driving next year. So, since you suck less at softball than other sports, I suggest you get changed...you're going to be late for practice."

DD: "Now that I think about it, what would I do without softball in my life? Warm up the car dad...I'll be right out!"

I like your conversation...I am going to print it out for when the day comes

[HAMMER]

Thank you for your input,very good information. When I said a break from fall I meant not commiting and picking up, continue lessons ( batting and pitching). No she didnt ask, but shes just not as excited and eager as she use to be. Good Info, greatly appreciate it !

Here's my take and I have a DD (pitcher) who just signed her NLI to play in college at a large D1 school in TX.

First......you didn't say if your DD was asking to take off or if you are just trying to stay one step ahead in case the question comes up.
Second......if she's strong and athletic taking a fall break from ANY sport is not gonna hurt her at age 12. Many times they will come back more excited and eager to play. There isn't a college out there that is looking at 7th graders for women's sports.
Third.....most 12 year olds don't have a clue on a specific sport they may want to play in college.
Fourth.....If she asks and you force her to play then you've messed up. If she asks, remember the word compromise. A good thing would be "Hey I know you want a break right now but do you think we could go out a throw the ball together a couple of times a month?"

Lastly........the age/time you have to worry about most is their Freshman year of high school (age 14). Burnout is most often at this age and your kid will discover boys and all the other distractions that go along with high school.

Good luck, believe in your kid and she will reward you many times over.

What is missing is the brutal truth. If your kids is the "one", she will want it. It has to be around the age of 12-14 or sooner. If she is just gonna be a participant, then let her be. Too often I see us, parents, coaches, and even players trying to make a superb athlete out of a participant. Being a participant is okay. If your child really has a gift, I mean really, then go for it. If you are trying to make an Indian out of a few feathers, then you have to know that too.

I hear that word, "burn out" way too much these days. If you keep it fun, there will be no such thing. Best of luck and Happy New Year!

I think the hard thing is, every parent thinks that there kid is the 'one'. How do you decide she has the 'right stuff'. We are from a small town and it was very operant at the age of six or seven our dd was more advanced then the other age girls. Not only size and ability, but her drive to play all the time, and work at it. (didn't hurt her sister was four years older and she wanted to compete with her sense she was born) So we started making the trip to H-town about two years ago to find out if in a larger area she would be able to compete at a high level. So far I would have to say she is still one of the top kids in her age. She has had to start working out more often (running, hitting coach, & pitching coach) but loves it and I think it well be a fun journey. She says she wants to play collage ball and she will do what ever it takes ! All I can do is support her and give are the tools to succeed, the rest is up to her.

If one day she says no more softball and she does not love it any more, I guess my money will be going in another direction. LOL We are just along for the ride ! No matter what level she plays at we sure enjoy the time we are spending watching her grow and play ball now !

[SnocatzDad]

DD: "Dad, I'm done with softball."

Me: "Oh really? Interesting. That's a lot of blood, sweat, and tears (not to mention money) to put into something that you are just going to quit. But if that's your choice, I'll support it. So which sport are you replacing it with...or perhaps you intend to finally start taking the piano seriously?"

DD: "Uhh...well...I figured I'd just focus on school."

Me (After laughing my ass off for about 10 minutes): "Which means you want to spend every second you can scrape up hanging out with your friends and otherwise doing nothing constructive whatsoever. Since that's not happening in a million years, let me help you understand your choice a little better. Either you participate seriously in some sport or constructive activity, or you sit home doing long division. No texting, no facebook, no hanging out...nothing. Oh, and no driving next year. So, since you suck less at softball than other sports, I suggest you get changed...you're going to be late for practice."

DD: "Now that I think about it, what would I do without softball in my life? Warm up the car dad...I'll be right out!"

I agree they have to have something to work on. My younger daughter who's a sophomore seems committed to remaining a year round softball player and participating in swimming and softball with her HS. She's also refs basketball games in the winter to make a little pocket change in the offseason. She used to play basketball but lost interest in it after she started taking softball more seriously.

My older daughter gave up sports after sophmore year, but then worked full time at Valleyfair over the summer as a lifeguard, and is taking some courses at the local community college during her Junior year and plans to take all classes there her senior year of HS. We have a program called PSEO (Post secondary something something) where the HS pays her tuition to local college to take classes as a junior and senior if they qualify academically.

It's tough to say what's more valuable finishing HS with a partial scholarship somewhere if your willing to put in the time to play college ball, or finishing HS with over a year of your general college classes complete and paid for. It happens to be working good for both of them so far their completely different kids. I'm glad I didn't push the older one harder to stay in sports and I'm reluctant to push the younger one into college courses when she'll still be 15 the start of her Junior year.

[DunninLA]

Skarp --

There is a risk even in your model. As I look back to my teen years spent in the Neolithic period. I recall many interests that are with me to this day (religion being one) that came as a result of unstructured, free time... time to think, time to wonder, time to meet lots of different kinds of people. I recall spending about two hours daily on homework, two to three hours on high school sport, generally year round, and LOTS of time just hanging with friends. I rarely did more than 2-3 hours of homework on a weekend, and of course "travel" sports did not exist then, leaving my week-ends gererally free.

The risk is that opportunities for increasing self awareness found only in free, unstructured time will be missed. I'm not holding forth that this risk is greater than the risk in not pursuing identified interests or talents, just that there is no such thing as a free lunch and there are downside risks to both highly programmed and highly unstructured high school lives.

[2fatoverdaplate]

I would say Then I would be Need I say more?

[looking in]

It's tough to say what's more valuable finishing HS with a partial scholarship somewhere if your willing to put in the time to play college ball, or finishing HS with over a year of your general college classes complete and paid for.

Are you serious???Finishing HS with a year of college done and paid for?? That's the best, her chances of graduating are that much better than most! She already has a partial scholarship and hasn't stepped foot on campus! Softball in college is 4 more years for us to watch, that's all! Don't get me wrong, i want to watch!plus, maybe some $$! But, not to many of our DD's will make a living in this game!