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What is wrong with our youth or our society?

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by NumeroUno » Wed Mar 06, 2013 9:54 am

What is wrong with our youth?

We live in a good area, very little crime. It's not as good as is was when I grew up here but still, it's not a bad place to live. Last year a 9th grade boy climbed on the roof at the high school and ran across the roof and leaped to his death at lunch. My kids, the school, the entire town was devastated. Why did he do it? They say he was bullied, he had good friends and family I think, how can life be that bad for a 9th grade boy. The school district brought counselors in for the students the teachers the local residents, it was a tough time.

Last week in the town next to ours which is a very well to do town, the average family income is around $145,000. The houses are beautiful the schools are nice and lots of great people I know live there. At 4:00 pm in the afternoon our schools JV softball team was playing over there. A senior boy went up to the third floor and took a running leap over the railing falling to his death. This opened up unhealed wounds for everyone. Why, his whole future in front of him. They say he was a great kid, lots of friends, in the drama class and good at what he did, no signs of being bullied. How can life be so bad?


Things don't seem to be getting any better, kids don't have respect for anyone anymore. Not all kids, most of the kids I see at travel ball games that I know seem to be different. They go out of there way to come say hi and give you a hug. The kids I know at the high school that don't play sports or just rec sports seem to act like punks. I don't know what to think, do you point the fingers at the parents?
I don't want to sit here and preach to anyone but maybe they need to teach the bible in class. When you can't say the Pledge of Allegiance in class because it mentions God and it might offend someone I think we are in trouble.

I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

If you don't like it get the hell out of my country
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by ontheblack » Wed Mar 06, 2013 10:19 am

Always Improved wrote the following in the thread and it jumped out at me because it applies to my kid as well:

"She handles diversity with ease. Roommates, play time, what others say bother her way less, because we listened."

Its easy to blame parents, but that isnt always fair or accurate. IMO its more of the overwhelming crap our kids are exposed to on a daily basis that society says is okay.
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by NumeroUno » Wed Mar 06, 2013 10:23 am

I agree you can't always blame the parents. Maybe the music about killing cops, raping women n no respect for anyone, etc can't be good. Sitting at videos games for hours blowing the heads off people maybe that can't be good. Who buys these DVD's and videos though?
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by Sftbll4ever » Wed Mar 06, 2013 10:41 am

You can't blame the parents on all of this. My DD was planning on becoming a statistic, but thankfully, she did not. In our house, we talk about everything (or so I thought). There is no holds barred in our house when it comes to talking about ANYTHING (just ask her dad, hahaha)

She was bullied by coaches when she was younger, she was bullied in Middle School, and considered ending her life in HS. Thankfully she found a way to talk and we got her help.

It can be the littlest things that set anyone off. What may seem trivial to us is not to them. Athlete or not, it exists, you just need to know the signs. We need to teach our kids that even though you are friends with someone, if they tell you or give you the felling that they are going to hurt themselves, you need to speak up, and save their life!!
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by RudeDog » Wed Mar 06, 2013 10:53 am

NumeroUno wrote:they need to teach the bible in class. When you can't say the Pledge of Allegiance in class because it mentions God and it might offend someone I think we are in trouble.

I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

If you don't like it get the hell out of my country


I agree 100%
"Even if you are on the right track you will get run over if you just sit there." ~ Will Rogers
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by exD1dad » Wed Mar 06, 2013 11:53 am

I've stated in other posts about how my oldest spent hundreds of hours working the phones & texts @ Teenline (a peer to peer hotline here in So Cal) & IMHO both Parents & Society are to blame & she concurs. Just look @ the divorce rate & the 2 parents working just to get by (leaving children to their own devices) as well as what in our day was considered violent or too sexual for youths & add in the internet & kids these days view life totally different.

Divorce lets them see that parents don't work out their problems & take the easy way out (many times), with no supervision poor kids gravitate to the streets & gangs etc.

These are a few of the reasons we sent our kids to private schools because (just like our economy & verbals to college) the systems are broken. Look @ television, reality TV (which is scripted) makes America believe they can be a star & people have bought into this "sense of entitlement" without busting their ass to achieve a well deserved place in society. All this was predicated by "talk shows" where low lifes who refused to accept responsibility for their actions leading what would have become "normal" kids & teens into this path that we now see on a daily basis.

Just my opinion, but even our President doesn't accept responsibility & like the plumbers rule sh_t flows downhill
"It's not giving up if you discover you've been chasing the wrong destiny" -Morley LA street artist who posted this on Melrose Avenue in Jan '14
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by bart16761 » Wed Mar 06, 2013 12:08 pm

Man this is a tough subject UNO, I can tell you I often worry about kids that I see leave a sport or extra curricular activity that they participate in. Seems like most if not all of these kids become side tracked in a negative way, some are able to make a recovery some are not.
I am old school my Dad had us all doing something in addition to school, but additionally I played in band was required to get good grades and still be the parent when ours were not home since they both worked. Back then I would get pissed off that I couldnt go hang with my buddies, who consiquently quit playing ball, had no outside activities never heard of the Bible etc etc and 3 out of 4 when to jail for various things. Not murder but definately not minor stuff either.
I am not saying that a kid has to play a sport to be well adjusted to society but they need a direction. I agree it is the parents that have to provide and support that direction. School is great but it does not provide kids the life lessons they need to be confident well adjusted kids. Maybe back in the day school was a more complete package and the discussion about why it isnt know could crash the server, school is not going to raise my children that I see as a fact.

We certainly have many available excuses as to why kids do what they do or are so easily lead to beilieve they are worthless. Lets stick with the basics;
Ouside of a few that have mental/physical dissabilities that would put them at risk immediately, by the way I have a child that fits into this catagory and I can tell you he is more adjusted than his sibliings haha, it really is about what they are taught to believe about themselves. They get taught at home. We have to instill a sense of self worth in our children. They learn by what they see more than by what they are told. If they see the bible in the house and its not just a decoration on a table then they will take it as such. If they see a good work ethic then they learn one. If they have parents that respect the value of life they will learn to respect it. If they understand that life owes them nothing then they will expect to earn what they get.
Its up to us a parents to teach them.
Now that being said it is horrible that a child would take their own life and I mourn with the parents of these children I make no judgment as to what occured in these households.
The other thing I think kids need to learn is there are no guarantees and you can do everything right and still not get the result you fell you deserve.

Well thats a record long for me its up to us people

Be Well
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by ontheblack » Wed Mar 06, 2013 12:15 pm

^^LIKE^^

Unfortunately technology has also made it even easier for kids to harassed, bullied, publicly humiliated, etc. Jr & SR Hi was tough enough when I was that age, but at least it took awhile for notes to be passed around. Today its instantaneous. One click and the damage is done.

We also have become much more selfish. With softball, it justified by "thats life" types of comments. Our kids are treated as commodities that are easily disposed of, and we as parents allow it and condone it. It can be tough for kids to demonstrate kindness and compassion when they are taught that to survive in a dog eat dog world, the ends justifies the means.

I'm back coaching rec and the wannabe TB 10U parents drive me nuts. I think Arto and Sam should join forces and put out a required "How To Not F^ck Up Your Kid in Youth Sports" video.
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by bart16761 » Wed Mar 06, 2013 12:29 pm

ontheblack wrote:^^LIKE^^

Unfortunately technology has also made it even easier for kids to harassed, bullied, publicly humiliated, etc. Jr & SR Hi was tough enough when I was that age, but at least it took awhile for notes to be passed around. Today its instantaneous. One click and the damage is done.

We also have become much more selfish. With softball, it justified by "thats life" types of comments. Our kids are treated as commodities that are easily disposed of, and we as parents allow it and condone it. It can be tough for kids to demonstrate kindness and compassion when they are taught that to survive in a dog eat dog world, the ends justifies the means.

I'm back coaching rec and the wannabe TB 10U parents drive me nuts. I think Arto and Sam should join forces and put out a required "How To Not F^ck Up Your Kid in Youth Sports" video.

I tell you that is one of the things that I Fear/fight the most my DD is 16 and she hates it but I follow her FB and I regularly check her phone, this last time she got really pissed but her Mom and I have a united front so she relented .
Now I know she is smarter than me and there is alot of stuff I likely miss but I am making the effort and she knows it so I hope that is some deterrent. She scared the crap out of me once already said "hey Dad we need to talk but you can't be mad at me" after I got my heart out of my stomach she proceeded to tell about some freinds doing some drinking etc etc she was there and they were pissed at her because she confronted them about it. Her concern was not that she was in troouble with me because she was not but what she should do about her friends she was concerned. So we had that discussion and I will tell you that I was so very happy and proud that she had her own iideas about what she should do and just wanted to run them by my that I could have burst. I am not looking for any accalades here just sharing my experience. Tomorrow could bring trouble to my household you just never know, but I am looking out for it and trying to prepare my kids to be ready for it as well.
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by JustPlayTheGame » Wed Mar 06, 2013 12:58 pm

NumeroUno wrote:What is wrong with our youth?

We live in a good area, very little crime. It's not as good as is was when I grew up here but still, it's not a bad place to live. Last year a 9th grade boy climbed on the roof at the high school and ran across the roof and leaped to his death at lunch. My kids, the school, the entire town was devastated. Why did he do it? They say he was bullied, he had good friends and family I think, how can life be that bad for a 9th grade boy. The school district brought counselors in for the students the teachers the local residents, it was a tough time.

Last week in the town next to ours which is a very well to do town, the average family income is around $145,000. The houses are beautiful the schools are nice and lots of great people I know live there. At 4:00 pm in the afternoon our schools JV softball team was playing over there. A senior boy went up to the third floor and took a running leap over the railing falling to his death. This opened up unhealed wounds for everyone. Why, his whole future in front of him. They say he was a great kid, lots of friends, in the drama class and good at what he did, no signs of being bullied. How can life be so bad?


Things don't seem to be getting any better, kids don't have respect for anyone anymore. Not all kids, most of the kids I see at travel ball games that I know seem to be different. They go out of there way to come say hi and give you a hug. The kids I know at the high school that don't play sports or just rec sports seem to act like punks. I don't know what to think, do you point the fingers at the parents?
I don't want to sit here and preach to anyone but maybe they need to teach the bible in class. When you can't say the Pledge of Allegiance in class because it mentions God and it might offend someone I think we are in trouble.

I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

If you don't like it get the hell out of my country


UNO -
I don't think we need to violate the US Constitution to help solve this problem. First, you can say the Pledge with the word "God" in it. The word is not offensive to the 2nd Amendment of the Constitution, but government advocating one religion (eg, Christianity - Bible) over others is. Besides, you can find the same "life lessons" that may assist with this devastating problem in the Bible, Torah, and most religious doctrines. The ethics and morals - let alone respect for hard work and consequences - seem to be missing from this "entitlement" generation. I believe it starts at home, and it is up to each family to instill these important characteristics in our children. Perhaps every younster should read Tom Brokaw's "The Greatest Generation" (WW II generation) to understand the long term importance of survival and working ethically toward one's goals. JMO
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