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Things I learned living in Oklahoma

Off topic. Home for jokes and other misc. stuff.
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by Bleacher Mom » Wed Mar 19, 2008 6:52 am

Those of you who have never lived in Oklahoma will find this funny. Those of you who have lived in Oklahoma will be nodding your head in agreement.



Those of us LUCKY enough to be born and raised here in OKLAHOMA just know this...

1. Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air

2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Oklahoma .

3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Oklahoma plus a couple no one's seen before.

4. If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

5. Onced and twiced are words.

6. It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.

7. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.

8. People actually grow and eat okra.

9. Fixinto is one word.

10. There is no such thing as 'lunch'. There is only dinner and then there is supper.

11. Ice tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!

12. Backards and forwards means 'I know everything about you.'

13. 'Jeet?' is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'

14. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you' re done or it's too dark to see.


15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.


YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM OKLAHOMA IF:

1. You measure distance in minutes.

2. You've ever had to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day.

3. You use 'fix' as a verb. Example: 'I'm fixing to go to the store'.

4. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

5. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

6. You know what a 'DAWG' is.

7. You carry jumper cables in your pickup...for your OWN pickup.

8. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.We make our own B-B- Que Sauce !!!

9. The local papers cover national and international news on one page but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.

10. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

11. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a little warm'.

12. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.

13. You know whether another okie is from, north or south as soon as they open their mouth.

14. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as 'goin' Wal-martin' or goin to "Wally-world"..

15. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good pinto-bean weather. Best meal in the world is Beans, Fried Potatoes and Hot Cornbread and Butter !!!

16. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop. it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor.
Example: 'What kinda coke you want?'

17. Fried catfish is the other white meat.

18. We don't need no stinking driver's ed....if our mama says we can drive, we can drive.

19. You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from Oklahoma (and those who just wish they were).

OKIE = Oklahoma, Key to Intelligence and Enterprise

Not EVERYONE can be an okie, it's an art form and a gift from God!
Bleacher Mom
 
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by NumeroUno » Wed Mar 19, 2008 10:12 pm

Bleacher Mom that is good :D
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by okie-boy » Thu May 08, 2008 2:23 am

Amen GURL!!!!!!! U nodit!!!!!
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by Hitmechanic » Thu May 08, 2008 8:04 am

And your the reason... :D DDGM?
'Wait for a good post to slam"-Big K.
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by NoNothin » Thu May 08, 2008 8:24 am

Bleachermom, you might be a redneck!!!

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Respect All Fear None!!!!
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