Almost at wits end

[showbiz]

Thanks for the responses. It's a tough decision but as you all said, we have to do what's right for our DD.

[pafan]

I was the one whose daughter felt she was being punished for not hitting the way the coach wanted everyone to (the old way, hands to the ball, etc.) and who was being put at the bottom of the lineup. Anyway, she was 10/12 this weekend (still at the bottom) and the coach's DD was 2/12 (something like that and hitting 5th) and I told my DD that I was sure she'd move up the lineup. Sure enough, next game, coach's DD was batting 8th and my DD was still batting 9th. We have just gotten to the point where we laugh about this stuff. If we had not been able to laugh at this (and if my DD still felt her confidence plummeting--it's not back to where it was, but I think it is on its way), then we probably would have seriously thought about leaving.

However, we just had another girl on the team leave (she was our best 1st baseman but another coach's DD was slowly taking over the position while this girl just sat on the bench. This coach's DD had been at third but since she couldn't get her glove down on anything that came near her, they finally moved her over to 1st--with the same success there, I might add. ) I don't think that this other family had a ton of money to be spending traveling (not that any of us do), but I think they just had had enough. And, as far as I know, nobody on the team holds it against them. I think you do what you have to do and as long as you are up front about it, things move on.

I am a firm believer in Sartre and not living in existentialist "bad faith." In other words, if you are living your life in a way that does not feel right to you or your DD, fix it. The ideal situation would be to finish out the season, especially if it will make you feel better for having honored your commitment down the road. But if you sincerely believe that you are throwing money away, or worse yet, that your daughter is being used, then get out of the situation in a prompt but professional way. Down the road, life will go on.

[hotwheels]

I was the one whose daughter felt she was being punished for not hitting the way the coach wanted everyone to (the old way, hands to the ball, etc.) and who was being put at the bottom of the lineup. Anyway, she was 10/12 this weekend (still at the bottom) and the coach's DD was 2/12 (something like that and hitting 5th) and I told my DD that I was sure she'd move up the lineup. Sure enough, next game, coach's DD was batting 8th and my DD was still batting 9th. We have just gotten to the point where we laugh about this stuff. If we had not been able to laugh at this (and if my DD still felt her confidence plummeting--it's not back to where it was, but I think it is on its way), then we probably would have seriously thought about leaving.

However, we just had another girl on the team leave (she was our best 1st baseman but another coach's DD was slowly taking over the position while this girl just sat on the bench. This coach's DD had been at third but since she couldn't get her glove down on anything that came near her, they finally moved her over to 1st--with the same success there, I might add. ) I don't think that this other family had a ton of money to be spending traveling (not that any of us do), but I think they just had had enough. And, as far as I know, nobody on the team holds it against them. I think you do what you have to do and as long as you are up front about it, things move on.

I am a firm believer in Sartre and not living in existentialist "bad faith." In other words, if you are living your life in a way that does not feel right to you or your DD, fix it. The ideal situation would be to finish out the season, especially if it will make you feel better for having honored your commitment down the road. But if you sincerely believe that you are throwing money away, or worse yet, that your daughter is being used, then get out of the situation in a prompt but professional way. Down the road, life will go on.

Dem sum big words in dat last paragraph.......We should find Peter Pan, I bet he has a great view on this subject.....Although, I would imagine that on their team everyone is hitting at or above .300 and all 11 girls play full time.....

[NoTimeForChores]

I have both the same and opposite problems. Eldest daughter is 16U, coach plays her every inning of every game. Even when she complains she is sore or ill. This makes for some uncomfortable periods with other parents who's daughters ride the bench more often then play. Youngest daughter plays 10U and the coach will not live up to his commitment with her. She plays maybe one game out of 4 at this point. I have considered leaving for both reasons. Good luck with your decision.

[Phantom]

I was the one whose daughter felt she was being punished for not hitting the way the coach wanted everyone to (the old way, hands to the ball, etc.) and who was being put at the bottom of the lineup. Anyway, she was 10/12 this weekend (still at the bottom) and the coach's DD was 2/12 (something like that and hitting 5th) and I told my DD that I was sure she'd move up the lineup. Sure enough, next game, coach's DD was batting 8th and my DD was still batting 9th. We have just gotten to the point where we laugh about this stuff. If we had not been able to laugh at this (and if my DD still felt her confidence plummeting--it's not back to where it was, but I think it is on its way), then we probably would have seriously thought about leaving.

However, we just had another girl on the team leave (she was our best 1st baseman but another coach's DD was slowly taking over the position while this girl just sat on the bench. This coach's DD had been at third but since she couldn't get her glove down on anything that came near her, they finally moved her over to 1st--with the same success there, I might add. ) I don't think that this other family had a ton of money to be spending traveling (not that any of us do), but I think they just had had enough. And, as far as I know, nobody on the team holds it against them. I think you do what you have to do and as long as you are up front about it, things move on.

I am a firm believer in Sartre and not living in existentialist "bad faith." In other words, if you are living your life in a way that does not feel right to you or your DD, fix it. The ideal situation would be to finish out the season, especially if it will make you feel better for having honored your commitment down the road. But if you sincerely believe that you are throwing money away, or worse yet, that your daughter is being used, then get out of the situation in a prompt but professional way. Down the road, life will go on.

sounds like a case of daddy ball and daddys buddy ball

funny thing is, these coaches are making fools of themselves, they think nobody sees this going on

[Phantom]

Thanks for the responses. It's a tough decision but as you all said, we have to do what's right for our DD.

thats what is most important for you and your family

dont have your DD (and your finances) suffer because of poor coaching

[Demonboy]

You suck it up and ride out the season. Teaches DD that valuable lesson in life. Next season do your homework and find a better fit for her. JMHO

As usual, newbs would do well to listen to Donnie.

EDIT: Dammit mistook an imitation newb Donnie for Donnie S.
Oh well listen to him anyway.

[hs dad]

Ask your daughter what she wants and back her.
My DD is going through the same Bulls*&t and it pisses us of as parents, on the other hand it teaches them to to be strong and in my DD's case bust her ass to become even better
at some point I think as parents we need to let them have a little control.

[Phantom]

Ask your daughter what she wants and back her.
My DD is going through the same Bulls*&t and it pisses us off as parents, on the other hand it teaches them to to be strong and in my DD's case bust her ass to become even better
at some point I think as parents we need to let them have a little control.

I agree

[darkaspain]

my main concern is being able to eat dinner after looking at Phantom's avatar.