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What's on your mind?

by UmpSteve » Wed Sep 23, 2015 10:09 pm

Blind Squirrel wrote:News Freaking Flash: Kids are typically the most important things in the world to their parents. As it should be. At the same time, my kid, your kid are just one of many players and concerns that a coach/team has. The coach/team doesn't have the same level of emotional investment in your kid that you do. The team might even continue to exist if your kid left. Kind of like me and every company I've worked at. If you continue being so myopic you will surely continue to set yourself up for more of the feelings you are now experiencing. Your choice.

I do want to thank you for bringing a child into this world that everyone can orbit and focus on. I refuse to believe the team continued to function and did not even alert the media when your kid was absent.

Sigmund Fried Squirrel


Dude, I just have to know if that Sigmund "Fried" sign-off (love the ongoing adjustments, by the way) was what you intended all along, or if it was a Freudian slip (how apropos if it was!!).
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by Blind Squirrel » Thu Sep 24, 2015 1:24 pm

UmpSteve wrote:
Blind Squirrel wrote:News Freaking Flash: Kids are typically the most important things in the world to their parents. As it should be. At the same time, my kid, your kid are just one of many players and concerns that a coach/team has. The coach/team doesn't have the same level of emotional investment in your kid that you do. The team might even continue to exist if your kid left. Kind of like me and every company I've worked at. If you continue being so myopic you will surely continue to set yourself up for more of the feelings you are now experiencing. Your choice.

I do want to thank you for bringing a child into this world that everyone can orbit and focus on. I refuse to believe the team continued to function and did not even alert the media when your kid was absent.

Sigmund Fried Squirrel


Dude, I just have to know if that Sigmund "Fried" sign-off (love the ongoing adjustments, by the way) was what you intended all along, or if it was a Freudian slip (how apropos if it was!!).


Intentional. Just channeling my younger self. (I'm kidding Samantha - Dad was a fine, upstanding young man). Pfft.

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10 years from now I'll wish I felt like I do these days.
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by Eric F » Thu Sep 24, 2015 1:48 pm

For all of the teams I have coached or helped coach, I can tell you each player's first and last name, whether they are right or left-handed, their strengths and weaknesses on the field, (probably) what kind of bat they swing, and a bunch of other things about them. Even with only 11-12 players on the team, there are moments when I don't immediately realize that someone is missing in the dugout, in a team meeting, or on the field during practice. If I'm sitting on a bucket, downloading with the team after a game, with the girls sitting on the ground in front of me, there's a good chance someone could be missing, and I wouldn't notice right away. It's not personal. My brain is just focused on things other than checking attendance.

Getting bent because the coach didn't recognize that your daughter wasn't in the post-game meeting is (IMO) a significant over-reaction to a non-issue. My advice: Lighten up, Francis. ;)
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by rbi » Thu Sep 24, 2015 1:50 pm

My kid is licking her wounds and taking the verbal abuse in the team meeting and I'm meeting her at the team hotel as she can bum a ride, cuz i have a cold one calling my name, harsh but it builds mental toughness and its real
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by fastpitchdad05 » Thu Sep 24, 2015 2:15 pm

Eric F wrote:For all of the teams I have coached or helped coach, I can tell you each player's first and last name, whether they are right or left-handed, their strengths and weaknesses on the field, (probably) what kind of bat they swing, and a bunch of other things about them. Even with only 11-12 players on the team, there are moments when I don't immediately realize that someone is missing in the dugout, in a team meeting, or on the field during practice. If I'm sitting on a bucket, downloading with the team after a game, with the girls sitting on the ground in front of me, there's a good chance someone could be missing, and I wouldn't notice right away. It's not personal. My brain is just focused on things other than checking attendance.

Getting bent because the coach didn't recognize that your daughter wasn't in the post-game meeting is (IMO) a significant over-reaction to a non-issue. My advice: Lighten up, Francis. ;)


"And another thing...everyone calls me Psycho! Anyone calls me Francis...and I'll kill ya!"

Izicsz, maybe you could volunteer to be the big toe when the coach can't be there to fill that role. :D
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by izicsz » Fri Sep 25, 2015 7:48 am

First, I would like to thank everyone for their input. I think that when Blind Squirrel pulled out the golden acorn, opened it, and mentioned the emotional investment aspect of the parent vs. anyone else in the universe, the light bulb lit up bright!

I had a meeting with the coach and apologized. Being the kind of person he is (detail oriented), he had a good idea in which the team captains for the week would be responsible for making sure all teammates are accounted for at the end of the game meetings. I thought it was pretty good of him to offer a resolution to really a non issue with most, according to most of you that commented.

Listen, everyone has a different opinion about most things. I come from having served my country during peacetime and wartime. Being in the military, one of the daily routines was to take muster in the morning, performing the mission for that day while constantly keeping track that everyone was still alive, meeting again later in the day or evening to ensure everyone made it back.and was OK to do it again the next day. I did not include the tactical/operational meetings that you might want to be present for in order to know exactly what you are doing/performing during a mission.

Working for one of the biggest manufacturing companies in the U. S. for the past 23 years in a very professional corporate environment that requires the attendance of multiple meetings per day (some of you out there know what I mean!) in which someone would notice if you are not in attendance, especially the person that called the meeting, kind of gives you an idea of my thought process when it comes to actually making sure certain people are supposed to be where they are and why. Moving on.......

Listen, I get it. Most people on the bucket will comment, give advice(good or bad!), and then will have a little fun trying to be a clever smart ass. That is what is entertaining to most of us when we come on here and read through multiple posts. Most of the senior bucketeers have mastered this method. Say something worthwhile, say something funny and clever, have an opinion, and have a finishing statement.

Of course we also have the bucketeer that will come in, make a ridiculous comment just to taunt and then continue to do so, sometimes relentlessly. I considered aparent to be one of this type. However, I think I was wrong. After calling this person a moron (possible trigger word), aparent actually wrote this:

aparent wrote:
izicsz wrote:Jtat32,
thank you aparent! There always has to be at least one moron that mixes in on one of these discussions. However, your entertainment value was pretty poor! Maybe Jtat32 can develop an improvement list for you! I know you are not going to be able to resist one last comment. Make it a good one and then we can refer to you as an idiot savant!



I was going to entertain the good folks on the bucket by starting a thread over an interesting situation I had with my daughter's name being misspelled on GameChanger and how best to approach the coach. I was going to ramble on about how this reflects on his leadership and how assigning this duty to another dad probably meant that he was not qualified to run a team. I was going to ask other's advice to help guide me through this life changing event and if anyone had the audacity to point out that I was being an asshat, I was going to call them a moron. Unfortunately you beat me to it. Curse you angry internet softball dad....you stole my thunder.

now that I think about it, my daughter had to sit in a PARTIALLY shady spot on the bench last summer, that really irked me. Or the time she picked up TWO bases after practice while another kid only picked up one!! Now that I think about it, there are a whole lot of things that I need to talk to the coaches about. Thank you for opening my eyes to the joy you can derive from bitching about every little thing you can think of in life. This is so much better than focusing on shit that matters.


Still being a smart ass, aparent took the time to indirectly show me how I was blowing things out of proportion, And then, in another post about a really tragic story about a young softball player taking her own life, aparent wrote this:

aparent wrote:My prayers go out to the ones she left behind. I can't even imagine the agony her parents are going through. Such a tragedy. I know many of us in the softball community have our girls involved in sports specifically so that they can build self esteem and have an area they can feel comfortable and safe in when the storm of the teenage years blows hard, but the reality is that our girls are going through a lot in these years and you never know what demons lurk inside them and they don't always have the ability to give voice to their pain or reach out.


Quite compasionate and thoughtful!! At least aparent did not say something like:

"Worst softball parents ever!"

or maybe something like this:


Suicide is the SECOND leading cause of death for ages 10-24. (2013 CDC WISQARS)
Suicide is the SECOND leading cause of death for college-age youth and ages 12-18. (2013 CDC WISQARS)
More teenagers and young adults die from suicide than from cancer, heart disease, AIDS, birth defects, stroke, pneumonia, influenza, and chronic lung disease, COMBINED.
Each day in our nation there are an average of over 5,400 attempts by young people grades 7-12.
Four out of Five teens who attempt suicide have given clear warning signs
Hey, it happens!



So, I encourage aparent to be more thoughtful about all the comments he/she posts on the bucket! You can still be clever and a smart ass at the same time when you are giving advice or making a quality comment here on the bucket.

One last item. Sounds like someone should start a discussion about post game meetings. I think some of you need to have futher discussions related to the length, temperature conditions, time of the day, Saturdays vs. Sundays, Post practice vs. post game, etc............ Good luck!! :D
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by aparent » Fri Sep 25, 2015 8:33 am

Its all good, You don't exactly fit in the box I put you in either. Virtual man hug to you.
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by artomatic » Fri Sep 25, 2015 9:10 am

geez, get a room you two.
Are we done here?
Can we please get back to the important stuff, like who has the best 10U team, and which 10U pitcher is throwing 58 mph gas?
Deserve's got nothin' to do with it.
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by Eric F » Fri Sep 25, 2015 10:19 am

izicsz wrote:Listen, everyone has a different opinion about most things. I come from having served my country during peacetime and wartime. Being in the military, one of the daily routines was to take muster in the morning, performing the mission for that day while constantly keeping track that everyone was still alive, meeting again later in the day or evening to ensure everyone made it back.and was OK to do it again the next day. I did not include the tactical/operational meetings that you might want to be present for in order to know exactly what you are doing/performing during a mission.

Working for one of the biggest manufacturing companies in the U. S. for the past 23 years in a very professional corporate environment that requires the attendance of multiple meetings per day (some of you out there know what I mean!) in which someone would notice if you are not in attendance, especially the person that called the meeting, kind of gives you an idea of my thought process when it comes to actually making sure certain people are supposed to be where they are and why.


First of all, THANK YOU for serving our country!!

I can appreciate the way you were trained, and the circumstances of your professional life. For those things, attendance can be critical to success. This is softball. It's a game. It's not a matter of life and death, and it's not a matter of big money. Unless the HC has had similar training and experiences, there's a good chance he isn't as finely tuned as you are to these issues. Even then, in the big picture, post-game meetings aren't generally life-changing moments.

That said, it sounds like the HC came up with a good way to handle the issue going forward.
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by as the world turns » Fri Sep 25, 2015 12:22 pm

All kidding aside, maybe someone can take notes at the next meeting or better yet, video it and post it on youtube - watch it 2-3 times so someone can further analyze it and read into what the coach is or is not saying. Just being helpful 8-)
“Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid.” John Wayne
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