Combines/Showcases/Camps

[exD1dad]

Despite the fact that tjbd & I have had our differences I need to point out several factors which effect & affect all DD's. tjbd's DD has older brothers who have been through the process & landed at big programs, this type of family dynamic is akin to a kid here in SoCal whose parents both went to UCLA, constantly wear the gear, hang the banners, attend games etc which when a child is subjected to this behavior all their life they walk a different road than most kids, have either expectations or desires to attend a certain school & are IMO directed & motivated much the same as a coaches kid. They also know what it takes to get their, the sacrifices & talent needed.

That being said I think the vast majority of DD's have no realistic clue not only of what they want to do with their life (college major) or where they want to go. Most importantly they have no idea that big time softball is a full time JOB because they don't really understand what that means (6am weights, year round practice, limited majors, missing classes to travel etc) at the age of 12 or 13, they & their parents (who are also clueless themselves unless they've been through it) may have dreams & desires but they aren't seeing things in the proper perspective.

Enjoy the journey

[tbjd33]

Despite the fact that tjbd & I have had our differences I need to point out several factors which effect & affect all DD's. tjbd's DD has older brothers who have been through the process & landed at big programs, this type of family dynamic is akin to a kid here in SoCal whose parents both went to UCLA, constantly wear the gear, hang the banners, attend games etc which when a child is subjected to this behavior all their life they walk a different road than most kids, have either expectations or desires to attend a certain school & are IMO directed & motivated much the same as a coaches kid. They also know what it takes to get their, the sacrifices & talent needed.

That being said I think the vast majority of DD's have no realistic clue not only of what they want to do with their life (college major) or where they want to go. Most importantly they have no idea that big time softball is a full time JOB because they don't really understand what that means (6am weights, year round practice, limited majors, missing classes to travel etc) at the age of 12 or 13, they & their parents (who are also clueless themselves unless they've been through it) may have dreams & desires but they aren't seeing things in the proper perspective.

Enjoy the journey

Ex ditto... Great point and I didn't consider those dynamics, but your right. In homes like mine it's almost a right of passage to go to college. Not to be the "one" that doesn't make it. Always who's gonna be better. Who's gonna have a better weekend and it started in coach pitch with my older some and 8u gold for my DD while looking up to their older brother hero! Sounds mean but Sunday dinner food serving order goes to the kid that had the best weekend and so on. Sometimes that means more than anything as Mom calls their name first. May sound tough but that's how our family operates for good or bad...

Now even though that environment has created pretty good athletes in my home that doesn't mean it's been easy or it can not be done elsewhere with different circumstances. SAM You promote the belief our DD's have no clue and pushing/leading them will only do harm. That's an extremely narrow view of our children. While our family uses sports as a GOLDEN TICKET if you will as a spring board for their future there is nothing wrong with that. As parents we are supposed to guide them, nurture them, train them up, and so on. It's our job to spot talent and help them use it for their own good. Hey, my DD loves to sing and dance but she is horrific at both. I mean just bad! We allow her to sing in the shower, but in the real world outside of our house I give her cleats, glove and a bat as she walks out the door. Tell her go get your ticket Baby!!

What Neanderthal reply do you have SAM?!?!

[Sam]

Despite the fact that tjbd & I have had our differences I need to point out several factors which effect & affect all DD's. tjbd's DD has older brothers who have been through the process & landed at big programs, this type of family dynamic is akin to a kid here in SoCal whose parents both went to UCLA, constantly wear the gear, hang the banners, attend games etc which when a child is subjected to this behavior all their life they walk a different road than most kids, have either expectations or desires to attend a certain school & are IMO directed & motivated much the same as a coaches kid. They also know what it takes to get their, the sacrifices & talent needed.

That being said I think the vast majority of DD's have no realistic clue not only of what they want to do with their life (college major) or where they want to go. Most importantly they have no idea that big time softball is a full time JOB because they don't really understand what that means (6am weights, year round practice, limited majors, missing classes to travel etc) at the age of 12 or 13, they & their parents (who are also clueless themselves unless they've been through it) may have dreams & desires but they aren't seeing things in the proper perspective.

Enjoy the journey

Ex ditto... Great point and I didn't consider those dynamics, but your right. In homes like mine it's almost a right of passage to go to college. Not to be the "one" that doesn't make it. Always who's gonna be better. Who's gonna have a better weekend and it started in coach pitch with my older some and 8u gold for my DD while looking up to their older brother hero! Sounds mean but Sunday dinner food serving order goes to the kid that had the best weekend and so on. Sometimes that means more than anything as Mom calls their name first. May sound tough but that's how our family operates for good or bad...

Now even though that environment has created pretty good athletes in my home that doesn't mean it's been easy or it can not be done elsewhere with different circumstances. SAM You promote the belief our DD's have no clue and pushing/leading them will only do harm. That's an extremely narrow view of our children. While our family uses sports as a GOLDEN TICKET if you will as a spring board for their future there is nothing wrong with that. As parents we are supposed to guide them, nurture them, train them up, and so on. It's our job to spot talent and help them use it for their own good. Hey, my DD loves to sing and dance but she is horrific at both. I mean just bad! We allow her to sing in the shower, but in the real world outside of our house I give her cleats, glove and a bat as she walks out the door. Tell her go get your ticket Baby!!

What Neanderthal reply do you have SAM?!?!

I'm ecstatic that your kids knew what they wanted to do in life at the ripe old age of 13. I'm happy that you feel like parading your kids around camps and showcases at that age like a pageant mom really positions them to be recruited at the school she has already picked out.

If you want to act like a psycho softball parent at least admit that you are one. Just be ready to talk to your kids when they are 30. They may lament all the activities normal kids participate in that they missed because they were doing all they could solely to please YOU.

[tbjd33]

Despite the fact that tjbd & I have had our differences I need to point out several factors which effect & affect all DD's. tjbd's DD has older brothers who have been through the process & landed at big programs, this type of family dynamic is akin to a kid here in SoCal whose parents both went to UCLA, constantly wear the gear, hang the banners, attend games etc which when a child is subjected to this behavior all their life they walk a different road than most kids, have either expectations or desires to attend a certain school & are IMO directed & motivated much the same as a coaches kid. They also know what it takes to get their, the sacrifices & talent needed.

That being said I think the vast majority of DD's have no realistic clue not only of what they want to do with their life (college major) or where they want to go. Most importantly they have no idea that big time softball is a full time JOB because they don't really understand what that means (6am weights, year round practice, limited majors, missing classes to travel etc) at the age of 12 or 13, they & their parents (who are also clueless themselves unless they've been through it) may have dreams & desires but they aren't seeing things in the proper perspective.

Enjoy the journey

Ex ditto... Great point and I didn't consider those dynamics, but your right. In homes like mine it's almost a right of passage to go to college. Not to be the "one" that doesn't make it. Always who's gonna be better. Who's gonna have a better weekend and it started in coach pitch with my older some and 8u gold for my DD while looking up to their older brother hero! Sounds mean but Sunday dinner food serving order goes to the kid that had the best weekend and so on. Sometimes that means more than anything as Mom calls their name first. May sound tough but that's how our family operates for good or bad...

Now even though that environment has created pretty good athletes in my home that doesn't mean it's been easy or it can not be done elsewhere with different circumstances. SAM You promote the belief our DD's have no clue and pushing/leading them will only do harm. That's an extremely narrow view of our children. While our family uses sports as a GOLDEN TICKET if you will as a spring board for their future there is nothing wrong with that. As parents we are supposed to guide them, nurture them, train them up, and so on. It's our job to spot talent and help them use it for their own good. Hey, my DD loves to sing and dance but she is horrific at both. I mean just bad! We allow her to sing in the shower, but in the real world outside of our house I give her cleats, glove and a bat as she walks out the door. Tell her go get your ticket Baby!!

What Neanderthal reply do you have SAM?!?!

I'm ecstatic that your kids knew what they wanted to do in life at the ripe old age of 13. I'm happy that you feel like parading your kids around camps and showcases at that age like a pageant mom really positions them to be recruited at the school she has already picked out.

If you want to act like a psycho softball parent at least admit that you are one. Just be ready to talk to your kids when they are 30. They may lament all the activities normal kids participate in that they missed because they were doing all they could solely to please YOU.

Exactly how I thought you may reply... Well my oldest has his entry to Boalt Law but first will play some minor league ball. You know has to get that out of his system before he decides to be an "real" adult. By that time he may be 30 and I'm sure he'll be alright... LOL!

Sad you are too stubborn to believe that young people can have dreams. They can! Actually met my wife in 7th grade and well we know how that has gone... I freely admit I throughly enjoy youth sports and I am absolutely mine have decided to partake in the great things which are possible if HARDWORK and PERSEVERANCE are put into motion.

There just isn't anything wrong with giving kids direction or "helping" with their plan!!

[Sam]

TB,

The problem is that YOUR experience is your SOLE experience. Your situation is not the norm. Giving advice based on your experience with your perfect family with perfect parents and perfect kids is unrealistic and irresponsible.

My advice is based upon my exposure to the game at many different levels from a parent's viewpoint, a parent/coach's viewpoint, and just a coach's viewpoint. When my kids were playing, there were no voices of reason, only the voices of people who knew no better....people like you. I am here to provide a voice of reason to parents of younger kids to try and avoid mistakes many of us have already made. We let the game get to this point.....where being overly psychotic about our kids is now somehow normal. We have turned parents into pageant moms.....parading kids in front of college coaches at 13 years old.....and we try to make good parents who choose not to enter their kids in the pageant feel like THEY are the psychos. It has become a caricature of itself and everyone involved is just creepy, weird, and selfish.

I've witnessed this over the past 20 years. It seems you know quite a lot about very little.