AlwaysImprove wrote:Sam, spazsdad, DonnieS, have all been there. We all fell into the same trap that you guys are making. I can share more about my kid. In 8th grade, hs freshman year she lived her entire life to please her parents. You even hinted that running through a brick wall might be a good idea, she was going to do it. Our kids asked to work hard, and we helped them achieve great things in this sport.
Then ... they really grew up. At around 17 kids actually start to get some sense of what
they want out of their life. I know this is a shocker to the parent of a 13 year old that thinks he is in tune with his kid. Actually you are in tune with that kid. Just you are not yet in tune with that 17 year old that will be standing in front of you in 4 short years. That is going to be a different kid.
Just so you can put the jealously card away. My kid is at her absolute dream school. Loves her coaches, loves the academic life, I have zero jealously of the opportunity this kid faces. This kid is likely the super talent she seems to be, and that should definitely be recognized, rewarded.
Certainly some kids are more ready for this than others. Many kids same age as my kid going through it all were way more ready than she was.
One of those kids, it has been alluded to in this thread already, was a young lady named Bri Mathews. Bri was definitely
that kid. I got to see her pitch maybe 20 times, all at ASA nationals. She was the same age as my DD. And I still remember marveling at how together she had it. My kid had gobs of talent, which she got through working super hard at the sport. But Bri was definitely that next level kid. She had that natural talent, worked every bit as hard as anyone in the sport, and she had that take-charge leadership that few rare top of the sport athletes get.
The verballing system can offer some definite appeal. It got us to this great opportunity. But before you say: "What could be the harm?" Check yourself.
http://www.heybucket.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=12547 Many kids, no matter how we badly we want to believe it is so, are not ready to make this level of a decision at this age. There is just no way for their 13 yo self to be in touch with they are going to become as a 17 year old. Their life value system is just radically different.
And no, I do not think that means this kid or parents have in anyway horribly wrecked her, or she is going to follow what Bri did. Actually there is a reasonable chance this will work out great for the kid and the family. Especially if they treat the verbal as what it is, a soft commitment.
What I am saying is if you are the parent of a highly talented 8th grader, Freshman or Sophomore. Take some time to check yourself. Put away the thoughts of the grand and glorious parade that will play out at the ball field when your kid commits. You have to really sit down for a minute with yourself and identify what you are looking for.
The hype of the media, the hype at the ballpark, naturally leads to assumed expectations. Many families find themselves making a bad decision based on these expectations. I can tell you these kids are often way more miserable than the kids that ended up receiving no offer.
I can tell you about the kid that was committed as a sophomore who happened to be with friends that were shop lifting jeans. She will always be remembered as the kid that threw it all away. The kids she was with, no one remembers.
I can tell you about the kid that took a dream scholly to a dream school. Showed up as a freshman to find 37 athletes there and a coach that was running her team like that show survivor. It was only about the alliances, talent meant little about play time. I can tell you about the kid that went to a school that was about three rungs above her academic ability. After flunking out fall sophomore semester, she came home spent christmas with her family, returned to school like nothing happened. She spend 3 weeks partying with friends and then called her parents and returned home, I can tell you about the kid that was a phenom high school pitcher, but a better hitter. Got invited to play at the school of her dreams, by January she was working at the gap, dropped out of school, moved our of her parents, and hated everything that was her life just 2 short years prior.
I can tell you about the people that were so kind to us, they took us by the burger joint Taryn Mowatt was cooking burgers at, just to remind us that getting 'your' deal is a part of the journey, not the end.
Not all stories are negative, there are certainly more than enough positive stories to make this definitely worth the effort.
It is a lot more like going on trip on the yellow brick road than it could possible ever seem when your kid is 13. As Elton John said in Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, you might find that your future lies beyond that yellow brick road.