Becoming an Umpire

[Lunatic Fringe]

As my DD is heading toward her last playing year before college, I've been giving thought to becoming an umpire to stay close to the game I love.

Over the summer I've been watching the blues very closely to try to learn the techniques, attitudes and demeanor of the average blue.

While I have played or been around the game my whole life, I have to confess that my detailed knowledge of the rules falls short past the usual stuff like 3 strikes to a stikeout, 4 balls to a walk, 3 outs per half inning, the lookback rule, tagging up, etc.. As far as the cognitive requirements, I feel more comfortable, you know the basic visual ball/strike, safe/out, fair/foul and my demonstrated ability to count to 4. No algebra, which is very good for me.

What I am most concerned about is the brain surgery. It is obvious to me that knowledge of the fine points of the rule book like the reentry rule mustimpare the cognitive abilities. Can anyone speak to the recovery time associated with the surgery? What does rehab look like? How about scarring? Are other cognitive functions sacrificed? How long after before I can drive or zip up my fly?

[PDad]

A frontal lobotomy would help you forget everything you think you understand about the rules. As for recovery time, you need to ask the umpires that behave like regular people because all the rest are still recovering.

[Comp]

You will need to find out what associations in your area do umpire training and see about getting into some of their clinics. Where I am, ASA and the high school association do most of the training, but the other associations have been stepping up thier training programs.

Most of the rule sets have most of the same rules, but there are some differences you will have to pick up along the way. For the most part if you get ahold of an ASA rule book you will cover the majority of what you need to know.

As for mindset, know your rules and be confident in your knowledge of them. See if any of your local associations have a mentor program. It is the best way to learn because you are assigned to a single mentor who works games with you and gives you pointers. It can be very hard working with a different person every time you are on the field as everyone does things a little different.

[Tyler Durden]

Comp, you need to get out more.

[GIMNEPIWO]

I can only speak from my experience ... I opted out of the usual brain surgery and chose to drink excessively instead ... Recovery time is usually over by noon the next day but does require a lot of strong coffee and advil.

EDIT: Oh, and look ... It's 5 PM again ... Gotta run off to the cooler, er ugh ... Umpire training

[Comp]

Assumed it to be a legitimate question about becoming an umpire along with humor thrown in.

[Lunatic Fringe]

It is a legitimate question.

If you saw the umpiring at the ASA qualifier at Broken Arrow, OK this summer you would swear that these people had work done. One guy had a strike zone that was rectangular. It extended from the chalk lines of the inner lines of both batters boxes wide, mid shin to mid thigh high. He was consistent, but why? His strike zone changed the whole game. Why should an umpire change the game to suit his messed up version of the strikezone? I've seen other blues on the basepaths wind up to call a kid out and half way thru the windup, the tag is clearly missed. Why not stop in mid wind up and call the kid safe? You know, do the right thing.

In my current mental state, it seems to me to take the same physical effort to make a proper call vs. the wrong call. If I partnered with someone who knew the proper substitution rule, etc., I know I could bring improvement to the game.

I'm most troubled by statistics. What are the odds that so many morons in blue could be gathered together to umpire ASA qualifiers in TX and OK? Way disproportionate odds, very disturbing. There has got to be some operation that is required to be an ASA umpire that reduces mental function to the lowest common denominator.

I could pass the tests, undergo the training, buy the equipment and the blue suit, then show up to pick up my ASA card and patches only to be lured into a chamber and have the "chip" implanted. Like that other Astronaut (not Charlton Heston) on Planet of the Apes who was given exploratory brain surgery, I'd be an ASA blue, but not quite the man I used to be.

Think about it. There is no other explaination

[GIMNEPIWO]

It is a legitimate question.

If you saw the umpiring at the ASA qualifier at Broken Arrow, OK this summer you would swear that these people had work done. One guy had a strike zone that was rectangular. It extended from the chalk lines of the inner lines of both batters boxes wide, mid shin to mid thigh high. He was consistent, but why? His strike zone changed the whole game. Why should an umpire change the game to suit his messed up version of the strikezone? I've seen other blues on the basepaths wind up to call a kid out and half way thru the windup, the tag is clearly missed. Why not stop in mid wind up and call the kid safe? You know, do the right thing.

In my current mental state, it seems to me to take the same physical effort to make a proper call vs. the wrong call. If I partnered with someone who knew the proper substitution rule, etc., I know I could bring improvement to the game.

I'm most troubled by statistics. What are the odds that so many morons in blue could be gathered together to umpire ASA qualifiers in TX and OK? Way disproportionate odds, very disturbing. There has got to be some operation that is required to be an ASA umpire that reduces mental function to the lowest common denominator.

[b]I could pass the tests, undergo the training, buy the equipment and the blue suit, then show up to pick up my ASA card and patches only to be lured into a chamber and have the "chip" implanted. Like that other Astronaut (not Charlton Heston) on Planet of the Apes who was given exploratory brain surgery, I'd be an ASA blue, but not quite the man I used to be.[/b]
Think about it. There is no other explaination

Ya know ... When I was a Parent, I thought I was a pretty good Coach, when I was a Coach I thought I was a pretty good Umpire ... When I was an Umpire I thought I was a better Parent ...

[Lunatic Fringe]

Something to look forward to, then

[DonnieS]

Something to look forward to, then

Umpire, got the wrong glasses on, I thought it said Vampire.