Getting a pitcher out of her comfort zone

[ontheblack]

Many MLB pitchers like Trevor Hoffman would differ with you about throwing in the bullpen like its a game. Each pitcher needs to figure out what works for them.

[Firecrackersdad]

Try getting her to like practicing. My daughter sets up her ihome in the backyard with her Taylor Swift and One Direction and zones out having fun.

On the way to lessons we do not talk about softball or pitching. She puts on her music and we talk about her day at school.

IMHO If your concerned that she is not throwing very good during lessons email or call her coach ahead of time and let them make the correction.

Focus on the positives they already know when they are doing bad.

[Sam]

Just fricking amazing reading this thread....parents talking about making corrections to their 12 year old daughters like they are employees, trying to motivate them to improve, worrying about their competitive juices.....really? She's a kid....its a game....she doesn't get to be a kid again.....you are enslaving the kid....and the saddest thing is that these kids are so needy of love and approval from their parents that they will tell them that this enslavement is exactly what they want.....because they SEE what the parent wants. Sad.

[softball65]

My DD is a second year 12U pitcher. Each week she goes to see her coach and she knows she's going to throw the whole hour. We've tried everything to get her to throw (work) harder at lessons and practice sessions. Once in a game she pitches hard and competes. What does everyone think about putting her with another pitcher during lessons to push her. I'm thinking if she knows she's not the no. 1 at practice that would get her competitive juices flowing. What do you bucket heads think?

Most of what you are seeing is age appropriate. Just keep working with her and encouraging solid mechanics. Push her but not too hard. Eventually as she matures, you will be able to turn more of the responsibility for practice, spins, etc. to her....and she will take it. What I have seen is that because we have focused on good mechanics, that where she was probably behind some girls at a younger age, she has caught and passed most of them because they are still trying to throw all the magic pitches with poor mechanics.

Results are what motivate pitchers....they want to see that their hard work equates to something. Proper mechanics, then speed, then spins.

[Sam]

My DD is a second year 12U pitcher. Each week she goes to see her coach and she knows she's going to throw the whole hour. We've tried everything to get her to throw (work) harder at lessons and practice sessions. Once in a game she pitches hard and competes. What does everyone think about putting her with another pitcher during lessons to push her. I'm thinking if she knows she's not the no. 1 at practice that would get her competitive juices flowing. What do you bucket heads think?

Most of what you are seeing is age appropriate. Just keep working with her and encouraging solid mechanics. Push her but not too hard. Eventually as she matures, you will be able to turn more of the responsibility for practice, spins, etc. to her....and she will take it. What I have seen is that because we have focused on good mechanics, that where she was probably behind some girls at a younger age, she has caught and passed most of them because they are still trying to throw all the magic pitches with poor mechanics.

Results are what motivate pitchers....they want to see that their hard work equates to something. Proper mechanics, then speed, then spins.

And if she doesn't perform, get rid of her and get another employee.....uh....daughter that will perform. Its not like its a game she's playing. This is serious $hit.

[CheckWriter]

Broken record time.

OP needs to do some reading:
http://books.simonandschuster.com/Any-G ... 1451667080

Also need to take a breath, relax, enjoy and positively support you daughter.

JMO

[DP3816]

:o Just fricking amazing reading this thread....parents talking about making corrections to their 12 year old daughters like they are employees, trying to motivate them to improve, worrying about their competitive juices.....really? She's a kid....its a game....she doesn't get to be a kid again.....you are enslaving the kid....and the saddest thing is that these kids are so needy of love and approval from their parents that they will tell them that this enslavement is exactly what they want.....because they SEE what the parent wants. Sad.

Sam, First of all "You Don't Know Me"! You may think you do but you don't. My DD can quit playing if she decides too. She loves playing, hates to practice. Simple as that. She's not out there because she feel's she needs to play to receive her parents love. I'm simply instilling the following in her. "If you do a thing, do it right and if competition is involed then be the best and if you're not the best, it's OK. Just don't be second best because you wouldn't do the work. My Son was the same way and now here fe is playing beer league softball wishing he was a baseball player. He was good, very good but because he wouldn't practice and I didn't make him other kids with lesser ability began to pass him by. That is not going to happen to my DD's! If they aren't the best I'm fine with that but if they're not the best because they won't do the work, then yes, I have a problem with that. My children are the most important thing in my life Sam, I don't treat them like Employee's and for you to suggest that I do when, You don't know me demonstrates to me what an A$$ you must truly be. I feel sad for you Sam, What happened to you to make you like this?

[ontheblack]

Actually it is the "If you do a thing, do it right and if competition is involved then be the best and if you're not the best, it's OK. Just don't be second best because you wouldn't do the work" concept that is part of the problem. We see kids working their asses of so ours needs to go one better. To be the best, not second best, of course.

Read the book.

We now have our kids playing one sport nearly year round out of fear that if they miss playing in the fall, they will fall behind. My wife and I now argue over this every August. I want the kids to shut it down and she worries they will lose a competitive advantage. To make matters worse we start this at the age of 10 with TB now, and we have these young girls throwing pitches they shouldnt be throwing, again to be the best, not second best, because Susie is learning to throw a rise and a screw at the age of 9, and heaven forbid my kid cant throw 6 pitches at the age of 11.

Read the book.

We have idiot coaches and "trainers" who think they know way more than they do and add to the problem. We have parents who push their kids too hard to get a 12 year old out of her "comfort zone" and dont see that they are making their kid go way beyond what should be considered "doing the work", especially a pitcher or catcher. This isnt English, or math or any other school subject where getting a lower grade than they could have because they didnt study or do homework or turn in assignments is failing to "do the work". Its a game and your kid is 12.

Read the book.

More than half of my kid's friends that play TB have chronic injuries - from arm and shoulder problems to back and knee problems. We have all told our kids they can quit whenever they want, but we have also taught them to not be quitters. So they keep playing when they shouldnt. They are rarely asked, "Are you 100%?". They are asked, "Are you good enough to play?" Do you think most 12 year old girls have the courage to tell the Dad they love and try so hard to please that they need a break, or they think they are working too hard?

Take several steps back, swallow your indignation, and let your kid determine what is best for her. If you think she is capable of calling it quits whenever she is ready to quit or take a break, then she is certainly capable of figuring out what works best for her with regard to practice.

[DP3816]

Actually it is the "If you do a thing, do it right and if competition is involved then be the best and if you're not the best, it's OK. Just don't be second best because you wouldn't do the work" concept that is part of the problem. We see kids working their asses of so ours needs to go one better. To be the best, not second best, of course.

Read the book.

We now have our kids playing one sport nearly year round out of fear that if they miss playing in the fall, they will fall behind. My wife and I now argue over this every August. I want the kids to shut it down and she worries they will lose a competitive advantage. To make matters worse we start this at the age of 10 with TB now, and we have these young girls throwing pitches they shouldnt be throwing, again to be the best, not second best, because Susie is learning to throw a rise and a screw at the age of 9, and heaven forbid my kid cant throw 6 pitches at the age of 11.

Read the book.

We have idiot coaches and "trainers" who think they know way more than they do and add to the problem. We have parents who push their kids too hard to get a 12 year old out of her "comfort zone" and dont see that they are making their kid go way beyond what should be considered "doing the work", especially a pitcher or catcher. This isnt English, or math or any other school subject where getting a lower grade than they could have because they didnt study or do homework or turn in assignments is failing to "do the work". Its a game and your kid is 12.

Read the book.

More than half of my kid's friends that play TB have chronic injuries - from arm and shoulder problems to back and knee problems. We have all told our kids they can quit whenever they want, but we have also taught them to not be quitters. So they keep playing when they shouldnt. They are rarely asked, "Are you 100%?". They are asked, "Are you good enough to play?" Do you think most 12 year old girls have the courage to tell the Dad they love and try so hard to please that they need a break, or they think they are working too hard?

Take several steps back, swallow your indignation, and let your kid determine what is best for her. If you think she is capable of calling it quits whenever she is ready to quit or take a break, then she is certainly capable of figuring out what works best for her with regard to practice.

I do appreciate your points. I think the disconnect here is this, my idea of quitting is not striving to do your best. It is a competition and they keep score, so do what it takes to score more and keep the other team from scoring. If you no longer want to play a sport fine, stop playing. That's not quitting. That's just choosing another path. My DD's played Basketball, Soccer and Tennis. They didn't have the skill set for these sports so they chose another path. They worked hard to become the best basketball, soccer and tennis players they could but they decided to follow the path of their older sister, their Mom and their Aunt and play softball. As a result they have a great support group and they love to play! The problem is simply that my pitcher doesn't like to practice and will at times "Phone it in". I'm not the only one who has a problem with this. I simply want to motivate her to work harder at practice, to work as hard as she does when she plays.. Obviously some of you believe that makes me a bad parent and that I'm treating her as "an employee" and that if she doesn't measure up I'll be all to ready to throw her on the scrap heap! Sports and School work are important, it keeps the kids busy and helps keep them out of trouble. I'm sorry that I was raised to believe that "Any thing worth doing is worth doing well". It's who I am and who I want my kids to be.

[Sam]

:o Just fricking amazing reading this thread....parents talking about making corrections to their 12 year old daughters like they are employees, trying to motivate them to improve, worrying about their competitive juices.....really? She's a kid....its a game....she doesn't get to be a kid again.....you are enslaving the kid....and the saddest thing is that these kids are so needy of love and approval from their parents that they will tell them that this enslavement is exactly what they want.....because they SEE what the parent wants. Sad.

Sam, First of all "You Don't Know Me"! You may think you do but you don't. My DD can quit playing if she decides too. She loves playing, hates to practice. Simple as that. She's not out there because she feel's she needs to play to receive her parents love. I'm simply instilling the following in her. "If you do a thing, do it right and if competition is involed then be the best and if you're not the best, it's OK. Just don't be second best because you wouldn't do the work. My Son was the same way and now here fe is playing beer league softball wishing he was a baseball player. He was good, very good but because he wouldn't practice and I didn't make him other kids with lesser ability began to pass him by. That is not going to happen to my DD's! If they aren't the best I'm fine with that but if they're not the best because they won't do the work, then yes, I have a problem with that. My children are the most important thing in my life Sam, I don't treat them like Employee's and for you to suggest that I do when, You don't know me demonstrates to me what an A$$ you must truly be. I feel sad for you Sam, What happened to you to make you like this?

Let me ask you a question DP....do you work with your daughter "being the best she can be" when she's playing Hide and Go Seek? Why pick softball as the game she has to always do her best? Lots of kids play because they enjoy being with their friends....its a game. Sounds like you are disappointed in your son and taking it out on your daughter. OBTW: You ARE treating your kid like an employee. If she actually DID quit, would you try to talk her out of it? If the answer is YES, then you are more invested in her playing than she is.

What caused me to be the way I am is nine years of doing exactly what you are doing. Been there....done that. The difference is that nobody ever told me that I was destroying my kid's arm and affecting her self esteem for the rest of her life. My kid can barely throw a ball now and at 22 years old is terrified of disappointing me....she strives for perfection and breaks down when she fails to achieve it. She can't grasp that the guy who finishes graduates last in his class in medical school is referred to as ......Doctor.

I'm not trying to criticize you...I'm trying to save you from yourself so that your kid isn't in the same situation as mine and you are not like me.