DD Being Forced to Change her Number, might leave team!

[txfpcoach]

I can't believe I spent that much time in my life reading about leaving a team over a number. I can see the point but it seems that you're not happy with the organization anyhow, Feel that your DD is better than the new girl, and want to find an easy way out. If your decision to stay or go depends on a # then go. If your DD is that good she'll fall into place on another team and more than likely end up with a new number anyhow. I didn't read the whole thread but let me guess the numer is 8 the covented Cat Osterman number. Just like they say about marriage the fight is never about the dirty socks on the floor or dishes in the sink it's always deeper. If this is truely about a number then your DD is spoiled and probably not as good as you think. If it's not truely about the number then either you or your DD were already unhappy, she's as good as you think and wants a reason to split. I would bet this has something to do with competeing pitchers being folded in from the other team as well.

[Sparky Guy]

I can see the point but it seems that you're not happy with the organization anyhow, Feel that your DD is better than the new girl, and want to find an easy way out.

Coach,

The other girl is not new to the organization. She has been in the organization longer than the original poster. The organization folded the remaining players into the team she is on when it collapsed.

[Tucson]

I haven't seen the original poster come back to say what has happened. Maybe the problem resolved itself. ?? Maybe the DD went to soccer.

I just spent the weekend with dozens of 12 yr. old females. If you have forgotten what they are like, go back and visit. I would have given them anything they wanted - just to get the motor mouths to be quiet.

I don't know how many of you have ever been a 13 yr. old girl - but at that time of your life, it is all about you. After all was said and done, I would support my DD. That's what the other parents did.

[mozzy]

I just spent the weekend with dozens of 12 yr. old females. If you have forgotten what they are like, go back and visit. I would have given them anything they wanted - just to get the motor mouths to be quiet.

I don't know how many of you have ever been a 13 yr. old girl - but at that time of your life, it is all about you.

I work with kids at our local high school. It's part of my job to help this age group get away from the 'me-ness' and adopt a 'we-or-others-ness'. Too many folks worry too much about their child's self-esteem, and here's the irony to help give your child healthy self-esteem--
teach them to look to the needs of others, it's there that your kids find self worth. Looking out for #1 is WAY overvalued.

Okay now, sermon over

[txfpcoach]

I can see the point but it seems that you're not happy with the organization anyhow, Feel that your DD is better than the new girl, and want to find an easy way out.

Coach,

The other girl is not new to the organization. She has been in the organization longer than the original poster. The organization folded the remaining players into the team she is on when it collapsed.

I understand I meant new to her DD's team. If my daughter wanted to quit because of a number she'd be playing the recorder in the school band. But wait let's think about that for a minute, indoor practice, only a few hours for a recital, no more wind burn, sun burn, fear of losing teeth, dirt in the eyes, no more driving 2 hours to get there and have a tournament rained out 30 minutes into a game, no more parents teaching their children to pout, no more parents yeling and bickering I might be on to something here. One thing I've learned as a coach the childrens perception and attitude comes directly from the parents. If Mommy makes a big deal out of a number so does the child, if daddy tells DD she should play ss even if she can barely make the throw to first then the child feels she should be a SS. if parents would let coaches coach and enjoy the game their daughters would progress much faster, safer and in the end they will be better players.

[txfpcoach]

One more soapbox moment. We just recently moved my daughter from 2nd year team on age up back to a 2nd year her age (playing league at the higher level and moving up in the fall) to realign her with girls her own age (she's not ready for the next step at this point). The toughest part was my daughter crying when I talked to her about this, not because of a number, not becasue she felt she was stepping back, not because she thought she was better than anyone her words verbatium "But Dad I'll be letting the other girls down" meaning the older team which is 2 years older than her. Teach your children to respect the game, coaches and teammates instill some pride, self confidence, and responsibility and you'll have a great ball player who a coach will give anything to have around... Teach them to be selfish, and arrogant and you'll quickly find yourself looking for a team everytime someone sneezes wrong.

[txfpcoach]

One more soapbox moment. We just recently moved my daughter from 2nd year team one age group up back to a 2nd year her age (playing league at the higher level and moving up in the fall) to realign her with girls her own age (she's not ready for the next step at this point). The toughest part was my daughter crying when I talked to her about this, not because of a number, not becasue she felt she was stepping back, not because she thought she was better than anyone her words verbatium "But Dad I'll be letting the other girls down" meaning the older team which is 2 years older than her. Teach your children to respect the game, coaches and teammates instill some pride, self confidence, and responsibility and you'll have a great ball player who a coach will give anything to have around... Teach them to be selfish, and arrogant and you'll quickly find yourself looking for a team everytime someone sneezes wrong.

[mozzy]

I understand I meant new to her DD's team. If my daughter wanted to quit because of a number she'd be playing the recorder in the school band. But wait let's think about that for a minute, indoor practice, only a few hours for a recital, no more wind burn, sun burn, fear of losing teeth, dirt in the eyes, no more driving 2 hours to get there and have a tournament rained out 30 minutes into a game, no more parents teaching their children to pout, no more parents yeling and bickering I might be on to something here.

I know that the quote was said in jest, but dd's other extra-curricular activity is band (drum section). You just end up trading said annoyances --'no more wind burn, sun burn, fear of losing teeth, dirt in the eyes, no more driving 2 hours to get there and have a tournament rained out 30 minutes into a game'---for band-related ones like fund-raisers to the nth degree (as many as 6 a month), driving xx hours to band festivals and parades in the rain/snow/sub-freezing temps, the tragic loss of your child's self-esteem --cough cough when your precious kid is subjected to the indignity of band uniforms that look like fireman suspender pants and, of course--the Dinkles... . Unfortunately, the parent issues remain.
Ain't life grand

[txfpcoach]

Thanks for the insight

[Sparky Guy]

I understand I meant new to her DD's team.

Coach,

In every organization my daughter played for the pecking order when it came to jersey numbers went by seniority.

Oldest returning players with most years in the program got first choice.
Returning players with most years moving up or to a team got next choice.
If players years in program the same. Older player got choice.
If even on senority, coin flip decided.
New players got last choice.
If all else failed the program director assigned numbers and that was the end of it.

It sounds like the mom is the catalyst behind the daughter's perceived slight by the coach. All mom had to say was suck it up play your best.