Hazing vs Initiation, right or wrong

[ocnative]

If you are demeaning anyone then that's considered being a bully. First off you don't humiliate your own team mates. It's just being a mean spirited person. I don't get the whole bulling thing. What's "fun" about being embarrassed in front of every one?

It's called learning to laugh at yourself and not take yourself too seriously. MOST of the examples offered thus far in this thread barely reach the level of a game of Truth or Dare.

And again....there is always the option of not participating in an excersise that makes you too uncomfortable. Contrary to the popular belief, it's unlikely that a girl will become a complete outcast for choosing not to take part. Especially if she has other qualities that might endear her to her team mates.

Coach11, you're right, there is always that option to not participate, but sadly there are kids that want to be accepted, so they go along with the stupid idea of hazing. And then there are kids out there that have your mentality. What I have taught my kids is to protect that person from the bully, and never to try to get a laugh from some one else's expense.

[Vess Express]

I am not a fan of the initiation idea. If you feel you must do it, I think it should be a specific, one time thing, such as taking the girls out for breakfast in their pajamas, face paint, etc. Not a big thing.

Hare, I think you have it exactly right. The thing can snowball if you leave it up to some players. I have seen older players use it as a way to try and demand respect from the younger, sometimes better, players.

I went to two different Div. 1 schools. The first one I attended made everybody stand in a circle one day at practice, and sing some stupid song like Mary Had a Little Lamb. I thought it was dumb, but I just did it. They later started having only the newbies pick up the equipment, balls, etc., while some of the older girls sat around and joked about it. Then, one practice day, none of the older girls showed up, while the newbies were worked until we nearly puked. Next, we were supposed to start carrying the older player’s bags for them. Lastly, when two of the junior girls found out that I would be taking the place of their friend (also a junior) in the lineup, they initiated me by spitting on the door knob to my room at my dorm. That, in turn, led to a fight in the school parking lot. I did not tell my parents, or make a big deal about it, but I did transfer schools the next year. No initiations took place at school #2.

I know some people are okay with a lot of this, but I don’t get it. Everybody talks about the importance of team bonding. To me, this is the exact opposite of that. It seems to me, some of these actions are telling the new players that they should know their place is lower on the ladder, and you want them to accept that idea off the field. But, when everyone is on the field, you want the younger girls to perform as well or better than the older players if possible - anything to help the team win. Then it's no longer about seniority, it's all about performance.

None of these things are life or death, bullying, or scarred for life actions to me. I just think a lot of this trivial stuff hurts team morale more than it helps.
JMO

[Safebyahare]

Dear Vess Express,
Could you please PM me. I am a computer idiot.
My daughter would like to interview you for her essay.
She was moved by your story, and so was I, thank you for sharing.
PS from me to you,,,you shine a pretty bright light.

[tcannizzo]

I HAVE BEEN TAUGHT And here is my conclusion. (I better not become a liberal)

Like De Nero told Billy Crystal in Analyze This!, "If you turn me into a f******, I swear I will kill you".

[tcannizzo]

Upon further review, this comes under the heading of "Make you - Break you".
This is not just done by peers but also by coaches (oh and yes, parents) who think that if you ain't TOUGH ENOUGH, then you shouldn't even bother. You know, "Contender or Pretender".

The trail of destruction that is created by the "Burn and Churn" approach is disturbing, even to the so-call "hardened".

On the other hand, the natural selection process of the elite, in whatever profession/endeavor, is to "tip your hat" to those who made all the cuts.

How's that for playing both sides of the street? (Excuse me while I schedule myself for some therapy).

[softballmom66]

“Hazing” refers to any activity expected of someone joining a group (or to maintain full status in a group) that humiliates, degrades or risks emotional and/or physical harm, regardless of the person's willingness to participate.....stophazing.org

This is going on at my friends school right now....Initiation of newbies is fun, lighthearted, and meant to bond the team in the end....but Hazing...is when personal vulgar,degrading/sexually obscene drawings, and racist comments are put on t-shirts to have the kids wear to school. Where the teachers are alarmed and make a stand. Parents have every right to stand up for their children and not wait for it to play out. Hazing is wrong and when done needs to be called out. How the perpetrator has become the Victim in this situation is WRONG...and....beats the Heck out of me!!!!

[dailyjoy]

I may be naive and sheltered but this thread is making me sad.

I am not a political correct person and am far from liberal. If any thing I am very conservative

I have taught the young ladies in my life that each person is valuable and should be treated with respect, consideration, and kindness.

A few have mentioned hazing, and other actions described, are fun traditions which do not harm. It may be possible the person to whom the action was taken is not harmed but what kind of life lesson are the girls learning?

How do you teach a young lady everyone, no matter their circumstances or role in life, deserves to be treated with respect, dignity and kindness while at the same time saying it is okay to haze someone by treating them so disrespectfully?