Get a phone call yesterday from DD#1 who says, “I’m okay dad!” I took this as a check-in moment from a daughter in college…a routine call we’re very used to getting now…for the last 3 years. The call usually means “everything’s cool mom and dad”, and “grades are good…please send money”. But yesterday was a little different. You see…DD#1 is a senior at U.T. Austin…and yesterday’s call was anything but routine. When DD realized I didn’t have a clue about ongoing events in Austin yesterday, she exclaimed, “there’s a shooter on campus!” Processing internally as quickly as possible, my response was a simple, “what?” She went on to explain that the campus was locked down and that she was safe in her apartment off campus. And sure enough, turning on the news, there it is…a 19 year old with an AK47 roaming the campus of my daughter’s college.
For me, the story ends well…with daughter safe and sound…one of those side benefits from staying up late the night before and sleeping in…probably blowing off her early morning class that day. As the day goes on, I can’t avoid thinking about a few thoughts…about the parents of an obviously disturbed young 19 year old sophomore, the response from the university and Austin PD, what could have been (Virginia Tech), and the safety of our daughters…on and off campus.
I won’t even pretend to know all the answers, but here’s a summary of a few moments with all my DDs on the subject:
- Most trouble happens because you’re in a place (or time) where you’re vulnerable, i.e. late at night, at a bar, drinking/drugs involved.
Be aware of your surroundings and who you’re with. Can you trust this place and these people?
Partner up! When walking around town/campus, find a companion, or ask for one if it’s late at night.
Be a bitch! I witnessed a situation one time where a young lady was in a bad place with an unfriendly person. This gal went berserk on this dude…screaming, making all kinds of noise, making sure we all took notice. The dude took a look around and went about his way, leaving her alone and all of us waiting for a moment to intervene….if needed.
RUN!!! If alone and cornered…RUN! Put all those years in athletics to good use. Most assholes won't give chase when they know they’re dealing with a smart, physically fit person…who plans on putting up a fight.
Training and practice. Her freshman year, DD took advantage of a U.T . police department program in self defense. Most colleges offer this type of program and it should be the very first class your DD attends…day one!
So, while all of us are vulnerable to bad luck, there’s simply no reason why we shouldn’t do everything in our power to prepare ours DDs for real world situations. Mine was prepared athletically and academically…but didn’t have much of a clue about how to deal with big city Austin, the homeless, drugs and alcohol….and what to do when you’re in trouble. That was three years ago. I’m happy to report that DD#1 now has the tools to defend herself…and evaluate and react to any place and time that may bring harm to her.
