by BB12 » Wed Mar 10, 2021 12:54 pm
Softball is back and so is the mutual admiration society of softball experts from areas where meth, monster trucks, and homes where you need a tire pressure gauge to check the foundation are the norm.
It looks like beef jerky and Keystone Light might be the cure for Covid because y'all made it.
I am so glad to see that all the familiar names are back on the top. Hopefully I can add a few nicknames in 2021.
14s are tough to rank because some of the teams are probably going dark for spring. In the end it will come down to pitching and Grapes have more than Sorcerer - Peter Pan.
Its not a secret, I really like the Grapes from Marin, they consistently win and opposing parents hate them for it. They are brash, loud, obnoxious, show up, kick your kids ass, and return to their 3 million dollar ranchers. Moose doesnt need leggings, lame sunglasses, or a boner brush (mustache) to prove he can coach, he just leaves the tournaments late on Sundays while you root against him on Gamechanger from your couch that Mooses parents donated to Goodwill.
Suncats are really good too, but because they are west of Tracy, you tobacco chewing folk who park on your front lawns wouldnt know of them. The rest of the upper tier Sorcerer Schroll, Nuggets, LTG, have a nice core of players but lack the depth and coaches willing to go all in with gender neutral fashion.
AM Walling is the best young team. They may have the best offensive line in 14U womans softball north of the grapevine.
The rest are just filler teams playing backyard friendlies and tournaments where the winners recieve a box of shotgun shells and a confederate flag.
Speaking of tournaments, it looms like AASA Mortimer won last weekends Crystal Meth Classic in Oroville. The prize package was a 18 pack of Natural Light and a carton of cigarettes. The players received T-shirts with the sleeves cut off. Congratulations on the victory.
In 12s its Sorcerer Yoder and then the rest can play all spring for 2nd. I do like the Ohana coach but the team has some work to do.
Sorcerer Davis, AASA Camarena, and AM Almont are nice teams.
Some of the 12U teams at these early tournaments couldnt beat a Park and Rec C All-Star team, which should be a public service message for parents who are using their stimulus checks to pay the next wave of clowns masquerading as softball coaches. If your team ends in Elite or Select, good time to hit the bricks.
Spend that money on some Yosemite Sam "back off" mud flaps for your lifted 1998 Chevy Siverado, an autograph picture of Dale Earnhardt and a new hunting rifle.
Thank god the days of playing in some dudes backyard or another time zone are coming to a close. Sure it sucks that the temperature check at Rainbow and Arnaiz are rectal, but when you love your kids the shame only lasts a few minutes
Its good to be back