A tip coming out of fall ball.....

[PitchersDad99]

That goes without saying. If a team doesnt win with any consistency, expect the better plays to take a hike. That is just the way travelball works, and I wouldnt blame them for doing so. If a team has good players and they are not winning much, someone is to blame, and it could be the coach?

It can be, and very often is, a Player and/or Parents that are completely disruptive in the dugout or stands. A good player can be turned ineffective on the ride home from practice/tournaments by a negative parent. There are a lot of Sunday evening managers on the freeway driving home after a loss. Their hindsight is always 20/20 and the coach was a dumb*** of course.

Teaching young girls any sport that in society is deemed a boys sport is hard enough. When you add in a dad who knew a guy that was roommates with this dude who's uncle played in the Mexicali league when he was 18, just makes it harder. It's almost always easier for the coach to take the blame. JMHO

Girls need to feel good to play good and boys need to play good to feel good.

[Iluvblue]

Thats still the coaches fault. Part of coaching means knowing how to handle parents. It is my job to get the kid to do what I want her to do, REGARDLESS of what dad is saying on the way home or in the stands. If I cant get the kid to do things my way, Im not very good.

Coach is responsible for his team and he/she should be able to handle a parent in the stands. If they cant, their team will go up in flames........ and it isnt the parents to blame.

JMO of course.

[PitchersDad99]

While I agree wholeheartedly it is a coaches responsibility to not only be in control of the play on the field, but also be aware of the behavior of the parents in the stands. I am aware that my experience in the older divisions is not as extensive as yours and I mean no disrespect. I do believe that the younger divisions are vastly different than the older ones, because of this I disagree with your statement

If they cant, their team will go up in flames........ and it isnt the parents to blame.

I have seen a child show up to a tournament all smiles and in a great mood, then after an at-bat where they might strikeout, their parent completely tears them apart. Consequently they give up and become disruptive by taking it out on the other girls or simply sit at the end of the dugout and cry and refuse to do anything. Often times this may be the teams best player and the end result is a loss.

While it is the job of the coach to teach softball and behavior skills (as they pertain to the game, fellow teammates, umpires and opponents) it can be hard to overcome the hurt inflicted by a BAD parent. The alternative is to take the kid out the game to punish the parent/s or boot the kid off the team. As a last resort that has happened. In my opinion that only reinforces the hurt the child feels by excluding them from something and people they may truly love.

I am talking of kids in the lower age divisions who still think of softball as a game and not a means to college (yet). The parents of kids in the lower age divisions are the opposite, they think their kid is going to skip elementary, middle and high school and go straight to UCLA (see 40+ pages of RayRay). I do realize that as the kids get older and the talent is weeded down to the players who are generally better (not always better) the parents also become somewhat more realistic. This I hope also means they comprehend their actions and the results that may be gleaned from their actions. With this I also hope that it becomes easier for a coach to focus more on getting the girls/young women ready for their softball futures.

I have found out the hard way that some kids/parents don't care at all about the team, only themselves. I guess over time that will be easier to recognize and stomach but I haven't got their yet.

[Iluvblue]

Pitchers dad,

While i currently coach the olders and Varsity HS, I spent 4 years at 12u and maybe 5 years total in 14u. So I have done all ages.

I feel the coach needs to set the tone from DAY 1. At tryouts I explain exactly how I do things, what I will and wont put up with and my demeanor continues from there. You have all kinds of parents at EVERY age group.If the coach doesnt make it very clear from the start that certain behaviors wont be tolerated, whose fault is that? So when daddy X goes off on his kid at a tournament and the coach doesnt jump all over that RIGHT then (actually should have been handled in practice) whose fault is that?

I have probably 2 kids every year where the softball gossips tell me, " You dont want that kid, her dad is crazy." I never listen to that stuff and I take the kid and then the dad is fine. Why? because they know I wont put up with their crap. They are still the same parent, they just stay quiet.

Like I said before, the coach better take responsibility for everything that goes on with his teams, both on and off the field. If there is a weakness, your team will blow up. I rarely have parent issues, and I dont think I am just lucky to get great parents every season.