One day in the future, OJ Simpson has a heart-attack and dies.
He immediately goes to Hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You're on my list,
but I don't have any room for you. You definitely have to stay here,
so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a few folks here
who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to
take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
OJ thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room.
In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. Ted kept diving in and
surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over he dove in and surfaced
with nothing. Such was his fate in Hell.
"No," said OJ, "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and
I don't think I could do that all day long.
The devil led him to the door of the next room.
In it was Al Gore with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks.
All he did was swing that hammer, time after time. "No, this is no good;
I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony
if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented OJ.
The devil opened a third door. Through it, OJ saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed,
his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose.
Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
OJ looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah man, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said . . . . . (This is priceless)
"OK, Monica, you're free to go."
