Connecticut school shooting

[ontheblack]

I think we did our country and our children a huge disservice when we became focused on self esteem and not on self responsibility. When we gave the worst player on the last place team a trophy we told them that they got rewarded even when they didn't earn it. Now people think that if that doesn't happen they are a victim and have a right to be angry versus that they have to work harder. Mental health is real because these are the kids I have worked with for over 30 years but parents exacerbate the mental illness by not holding them accountable IMHO.

Not on my watch. Thing 2's 10u team will drop and give me 10 for every error, strike out, failure to advance the runner, and base running mistake. If they lose, they will have to use their allowance and take me for frozen yogurt.

However, if the rest of the people in their life don't then all that happens is you become the jerk coach. It has be an all inclusive message from parents, school, coaches, religious leaders, youth leaders, day care providers. It's not about being punished for mistakes it is about learning from them. It is about learning to be self motivated with an internal drive and recognizing that you have a vote in your life and that working hard helps you make that vote. I would imagine that many of them don't use their allowance that mommy and daddy give it to them with the message that you are unfair.

Apparently I was too subtle with the sarcasm.

[softball_parent]

I think we did our country and our children a huge disservice when we became focused on self esteem and not on self responsibility. When we gave the worst player on the last place team a trophy we told them that they got rewarded even when they didn't earn it. Now people think that if that doesn't happen they are a victim and have a right to be angry versus that they have to work harder. Mental health is real because these are the kids I have worked with for over 30 years but parents exacerbate the mental illness by not holding them accountable IMHO.

Not on my watch. Thing 2's 10u team will drop and give me 10 for every error, strike out, failure to advance the runner, and base running mistake. If they lose, they will have to use their allowance and take me for frozen yogurt.

However, if the rest of the people in their life don't then all that happens is you become the jerk coach. It has be an all inclusive message from parents, school, coaches, religious leaders, youth leaders, day care providers. It's not about being punished for mistakes it is about learning from them. It is about learning to be self motivated with an internal drive and recognizing that you have a vote in your life and that working hard helps you make that vote. I would imagine that many of them don't use their allowance that mommy and daddy give it to them with the message that you are unfair.

Apparently I was too subtle with the sarcasm.

Guess I didn't recognize that this was a topic to be sarcastic about. I apologize for thinking it was a serious topic.

[ontheblack]

Which is it, mental health or indulged childhoods?

While we all know more than a few kids who have no clue about personal responsibility, these are not prima donna, sports playing kids with Moms cooking the scorekeeping books that are shooting up our schools.

In a few weeks I will once again have the privilege of coaching a dozen or so little girls in a neighborhood rec league. I will be praising every kid for the effort they put forth at every turn. I will make sure each and every one gets recognized as a valued member of the team with a cheap plastic trophy. I will be buying yogurt, ice cream and pizza. I will hand out a few dozen game balls. And I'll bet that none of that will lead to any of them wanting to take the life of another human being because they dont like Mondays. What I will guarantee is that a handful of girls will step on a softball field and have a ball, putting aside whatever $hit they deal with other places, for 2 hours every weekend

Now dealing with the parents who live vicariously through every one of little Susie's at bats is a different story...

[Battle]

I think we did our country and our children a huge disservice when we became focused on self esteem and not on self responsibility. When we gave the worst player on the last place team a trophy we told them that they got rewarded even when they didn't earn it. Now people think that if that doesn't happen they are a victim and have a right to be angry versus that they have to work harder. Mental health is real because these are the kids I have worked with for over 30 years but parents exacerbate the mental illness by not holding them accountable IMHO.

If you really want to fix a good percentage of problems with kids, when you say " I do"...freakin' mean it. Giving a kid a trophy for effort is a miniscual disservice.

[ontheblack]

I think we did our country and our children a huge disservice when we became focused on self esteem and not on self responsibility. When we gave the worst player on the last place team a trophy we told them that they got rewarded even when they didn't earn it. Now people think that if that doesn't happen they are a victim and have a right to be angry versus that they have to work harder. Mental health is real because these are the kids I have worked with for over 30 years but parents exacerbate the mental illness by not holding them accountable IMHO.

If you really want to fix a good percentage of problems with kids, when you say " I do"...freakin' mean it. Giving a kid a trophy for effort is a miniscual disservice.

Amen!