Buyer Beware - Player Beware - PARENTS Beware

[JFK]

Look, I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I am an experienced Travel Ball parent, but i am am fast becoming one.

I have learned in the short 2+ yrs since my daughter made the transition that, besides spending ridiculous amount of $$ to afford her the absolute best possibility to succeed in something that she absolutely loves and has the talent, there is ALOT of nonsense floating around, SB performance centers making ridiculous claims of getting your daughter into a good school IF you commit $1500 to their program....whereas their delusions of grandeur quickly fall apart AFTER you have parted ways with your $$ - leaving you little option BUT to stay in a bad situation and cope with your disappointment for not asking critical questions, and demanding that there be an escape clause should the owner not make good on his promises/delusions (yeah, a run on sentence I know...haha).
We were lucky. We had, in this specific instance, only lost the initial equipment buy-in cost ($400) and at the VERY least acquired that "equipment" (hardly worth $400). But we got out, whereas the few that also followed are now committed - with no way out other than just walking away from a $1500 mistake.

it was proposed by the owner of the "facility", and self-absorbed delusionist, very early on during this business' start-up that "we will ONLY play the very best showcases that have high value, and not bother with "friendlies" at all....." But that wasn't true at all. Friendlies were all that they played - and very few at that. But as he continued on and on with his self promotion of knowing HUNDREDS of DI and DII head coaches and having very close relationships with some of the "top in the nation" schools, i paid very close attention to his boasts, going as far as writing down and recording some of his claims. Now, the interesting part of all of this is that after the smoke had cleared, the rose-colored lenses began to fade and the honeymoon period was at an end did I decide to follow up on all of his claims. To no surprise, and utter disappointment did I realize that 95% of his talk was....complete doo-doo. 14 of 15 coaches that I talked to (and that he claimed to know "very well") had never heard of him or his facility. My heart sank because i had ignored my intuition. I had been had. His used car salesman tactics hacked their way past my "firewall" and infected my skull-drive. It must have been the rose colored glasses that they were handing out when i first walked into the place. Bottom-line; My bad. Shame on me for not listening to the little voice who has served me so well through my 19 years in the military. How dare I go against my intuition! The feelings that followed were overwhelming; sadness, disappointment, the feeling that I allowed someone to "sell me a used Pinto and convincing me it was a brand new Porsche".

It's a humbling feeling and experience that was very hard to swallow. Thank you dear Lord for teaching me humility!

I feel bad for the few girls that are "locked-in" and haven't seen as much as a decent tournament OR showcase. i take that back; ONE "Showcase" that was on, from what I heard from my experienced TB Parents, the worst possible field to ever exist in tournaments played in Fullerton, CA, during a well established tourney, and absolutely ZERO college coaches attending because they were all at the Premium fields where the "top teams" play. How sad. I made a vow to my daughter that never again will anyone pull one over on me like that ever again. The only consolation is that it was a learning experience of the BEST kind ; Never trust ANYONE. Ask questions to the point of annoyance before handing over any amount of $$.

Basic rules of thumb are this, when interviewing a "performance center" of anykind;
- The parent is in control of the Q&A. Don't let anyone intimidate you with vague commentary, talk-over, or that annoying sense you get that they are just waiting for you to stop asking questions so that they can get back to running you around in circles with false promises.
- Don't let anybody suck you into their fantasy land - If it doesn't feel right, or your daughter gets a weird vibe....WALK.
- If someone gives you the impression that they're not listening....WALK.
- If they give you that "It seems like alot of money but its your daughters investment for her future" speech (or some variation thereof...usually peppered with the buzzwords "commitment" and "dedication")....WALK. They might also try indirect intimidation tactics; making you feel that if you stand up to or challenge them, that they have the power to mess with your daughters SB future by talking them down to college coaches.
- if anyone promises connections to get her a Full-ride.....WALK (unless of course she's the Finch or Osterman caliber - which in that case no $$ should ever be paid to join a "performance center") Besides, FULL RIDES are few and far in-between.
- Make sure that you get an objective evaluation from a source that has absolutely NO motivation or agenda for giving nothing but a full and complete HONEST assessment. Recently, a respected, out-of-state head coach of a very successful SB program of a school that she would never, ever, by her own admission go to under any circumstance, gave her the very finest evaluation and recommendations. It cost me no more than an email to him/her, and our travel cost. I was surprised and shocked that of the 5 similar e-mails to other coaches - THIS one replied and said that they would do it. Never has the saying "it doesn't hurt to ask" meant so much than when they replied.
- Lastly, Make sure that you secure, in writing, some sort of escape clause, honeymoon period clause, or whatever you want to call it, that will allow a partial refund of your "buy-in" or other fees, should there ever be non-delivery of services promised by the performance center. If they don't want to or feel that they need to.....WALK. I believe that if "performance centers" offered a clause like that, it would actually hold the owner/staff accountable to what they promise, or elude to promise. It will hold them accountable.....period!

We were the lucky ones. Since leaving that situation, my daughter had selected a team that she has an excellent dynamic with, and has played in 14 games, and 4 tournaments, while the situation that she left has played 3 friendlies, and one "showcase".

If anyone detects a sense that I'm venting, bitching, moaning and groaning....then you are partly right. My main purpose of this post was just to share the dangers and pitfalls of HYPE. NOTHING is as good as people make it out to be. This site was recommended to me as a good resource where I could look around, ask questions and get a better understanding of it all. Also
That's why i titled it BUYER/PLAYER/PARENTS beware. I wanted to share this with other parents so that they don't get taken advantage of, or become a victim of high pressure sales tactics.
Get informed. Stay informed. And do your Research, Research, Research!!!

I also wanted to say thank you to those out there who have already given me excellent guidance and advice.....and thank you for making me feel welcomed and for being patient despite all of my questions.

[Battle]

What are you referring to as a "SB Performance Center" and are you suggesting that parents make their own contracts to coaches?

[artomatic]

What is a "performance center"?
What is the name of this center so I can beware of it?
I read that whole thing and I still don't know who took you for a ride.

[JFK]

The purpose of the post was to shed some light on a personal situation, and to inform parents and players alike, that you need to ask questions and not get caught up in the hype of any SB (softballl) "sports performance centers" that try to upsell you on getting your daughter a scholarship, or that they're your best shot at such.

The reason that i didn't mention the sports performance center in South Orange County by name is because i don't want the hassle of dealing with that guy should it turn into a war of words. The guy isn't worth it.

What happened to us, happened to many others from our team. Some got out in the beginning because it was too expensive - and rightfully so. But those of us who "drank the kool-aid" followed blindly. As I stated previously, I was lucky to get out after only forking up the buy-in.

Take my advice for what its worth. My point is; ask alot of questions. Insulate yourself, and your daughter with a way out should it not turn out the way it was sold to you. If you run into this guy (or someone like him)....you'll know it. Follow your intuition. Follow-up on claims made.
Re-read the rule-of-thumb part of my post. It's just an FYI post that I wish was available to me prior to my situation.

Merry xmas

[JFK]

....and my typo about the coaches that I contacted should read ".......14 of the 15 coaches that I contacted had never heard of the guy or his program....." and the only 1 that did know him was actually an assistant coach if an NAIA school who had met him 4 months ago. That was the "doo-doo" that I was referring to. So follow up with anyone's claims of self-promotion, and who they claim to know.

[SoftballSoccerDad]

Look, I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I am an experienced Travel Ball parent, but i am am fast becoming one.

I have learned in the short 2+ yrs since my daughter made the transition that, besides spending ridiculous amount of $$ to afford her the absolute best possibility to succeed in something that she absolutely loves and has the talent, there is ALOT of nonsense floating around, SB performance centers making ridiculous claims of getting your daughter into a good school IF you commit $1500 to their program....whereas their delusions of grandeur quickly fall apart AFTER you have parted ways with your $$ - leaving you little option BUT to stay in a bad situation and cope with your disappointment for not asking critical questions, and demanding that there be an escape clause should the owner not make good on his promises/delusions (yeah, a run on sentence I know...haha).
We were lucky. We had, in this specific instance, only lost the initial equipment buy-in cost ($400) and at the VERY least acquired that "equipment" (hardly worth $400). But we got out, whereas the few that also followed are now committed - with no way out other than just walking away from a $1500 mistake.

it was proposed by the owner of the "facility", and self-absorbed delusionist, very early on during this business' start-up that "we will ONLY play the very best showcases that have high value, and not bother with "friendlies" at all....." But that wasn't true at all. Friendlies were all that they played - and very few at that. But as he continued on and on with his self promotion of knowing HUNDREDS of DI and DII head coaches and having very close relationships with some of the "top in the nation" schools, i paid very close attention to his boasts, going as far as writing down and recording some of his claims. Now, the interesting part of all of this is that after the smoke had cleared, the rose-colored lenses began to fade and the honeymoon period was at an end did I decide to follow up on all of his claims. To no surprise, and utter disappointment did I realize that 95% of his talk was....complete doo-doo. 14 of 15 coaches that I talked to (and that he claimed to know "very well") had never heard of him or his facility. My heart sank because i had ignored my intuition. I had been had. His used car salesman tactics hacked their way past my "firewall" and infected my skull-drive. It must have been the rose colored glasses that they were handing out when i first walked into the place. Bottom-line; My bad. Shame on me for not listening to the little voice who has served me so well through my 19 years in the military. How dare I go against my intuition! The feelings that followed were overwhelming; sadness, disappointment, the feeling that I allowed someone to "sell me a used Pinto and convincing me it was a brand new Porsche".

It's a humbling feeling and experience that was very hard to swallow. Thank you dear Lord for teaching me humility!

I feel bad for the few girls that are "locked-in" and haven't seen as much as a decent tournament OR showcase. i take that back; ONE "Showcase" that was on, from what I heard from my experienced TB Parents, the worst possible field to ever exist in tournaments played in Fullerton, CA, during a well established tourney, and absolutely ZERO college coaches attending because they were all at the Premium fields where the "top teams" play. How sad. I made a vow to my daughter that never again will anyone pull one over on me like that ever again. The only consolation is that it was a learning experience of the BEST kind ; Never trust ANYONE. Ask questions to the point of annoyance before handing over any amount of $$.

Basic rules of thumb are this, when interviewing a "performance center" of anykind;
- The parent is in control of the Q&A. Don't let anyone intimidate you with vague commentary, talk-over, or that annoying sense you get that they are just waiting for you to stop asking questions so that they can get back to running you around in circles with false promises.
- Don't let anybody suck you into their fantasy land - If it doesn't feel right, or your daughter gets a weird vibe....WALK.
- If someone gives you the impression that they're not listening....WALK.
- If they give you that "It seems like alot of money but its your daughters investment for her future" speech (or some variation thereof...usually peppered with the buzzwords "commitment" and "dedication")....WALK. They might also try indirect intimidation tactics; making you feel that if you stand up to or challenge them, that they have the power to mess with your daughters SB future by talking them down to college coaches.
- if anyone promises connections to get her a Full-ride.....WALK (unless of course she's the Finch or Osterman caliber - which in that case no $$ should ever be paid to join a "performance center") Besides, FULL RIDES are few and far in-between.
- Make sure that you get an objective evaluation from a source that has absolutely NO motivation or agenda for giving nothing but a full and complete HONEST assessment. Recently, a respected, out-of-state head coach of a very successful SB program of a school that she would never, ever, by her own admission go to under any circumstance, gave her the very finest evaluation and recommendations. It cost me no more than an email to him/her, and our travel cost. I was surprised and shocked that of the 5 similar e-mails to other coaches - THIS one replied and said that they would do it. Never has the saying "it doesn't hurt to ask" meant so much than when they replied.
- Lastly, Make sure that you secure, in writing, some sort of escape clause, honeymoon period clause, or whatever you want to call it, that will allow a partial refund of your "buy-in" or other fees, should there ever be non-delivery of services promised by the performance center. If they don't want to or feel that they need to.....WALK. I believe that if "performance centers" offered a clause like that, it would actually hold the owner/staff accountable to what they promise, or elude to promise. It will hold them accountable.....period!

We were the lucky ones. Since leaving that situation, my daughter had selected a team that she has an excellent dynamic with, and has played in 14 games, and 4 tournaments, while the situation that she left has played 3 friendlies, and one "showcase".

If anyone detects a sense that I'm venting, bitching, moaning and groaning....then you are partly right. My main purpose of this post was just to share the dangers and pitfalls of HYPE. NOTHING is as good as people make it out to be. This site was recommended to me as a good resource where I could look around, ask questions and get a better understanding of it all. Also
That's why i titled it BUYER/PLAYER/PARENTS beware. I wanted to share this with other parents so that they don't get taken advantage of, or become a victim of high pressure sales tactics.
Get informed. Stay informed. And do your Research, Research, Research!!!

I also wanted to say thank you to those out there who have already given me excellent guidance and advice.....and thank you for making me feel welcomed and for being patient despite all of my questions.

Good effort for Post of the year.

Name names and you're sure to make the finals.

[JFK]

hahaha.....ok.....I get it. good one.
its always nice to know that there's always someone out there that needs to make fun of what's meanr to be informational. Unless you want to pony up money for my potential legal battle for naming names....I suggest you just leave it alone. Not interested in ever seeing that clown anywhere but on the field and providong he and his team a clinic of our own.
Enough said? Or do you feel you need to poke some more fun at this situation?

If you have a need for the latter. ...I'm only a PM away. Just keep your nonsense off of this post is all that I'm asking.

[Fredegar]

Always good to remind parents to be wary of any organization wanting that kind of money up-front. Having said that, most of us have no idea what you mean by "SB performance center". It's okay. I agree that you don't want to get into trouble by naming names. It's just that these SB performance centers may not be as common as you think -- which sounds like a good thing.

In any case, it's solid advice reminding parents to do their homework when making these kinds of decisions.

[SoftballSoccerDad]

hahaha.....ok.....I get it. good one.
its always nice to know that there's always someone out there that needs to make fun of what's meanr to be informational. Unless you want to pony up money for my potential legal battle for naming names....I suggest you just leave it alone. Not interested in ever seeing that clown anywhere but on the field and providong he and his team a clinic of our own.
Enough said? Or do you feel you need to poke some more fun at this situation?

If you have a need for the latter. ...I'm only a PM away. Just keep your nonsense off of this post is all that I'm asking.

If someone threatens to sue you for outing them on a public message board, then you'd only have to be concerned if you were untruthful in your remarks.

If you were ripped off by a company and then were honest in speaking out about it, any claim of defamation would be rejected by the courts and it wouldn't cost you a dime to defend yourself.

If, however, you lied in effort to intentionally make a person or company look bad, then yes, you could be liable for damages. The truth is an absolute defense against a defamation lawsuit. If your attorney tells you otherwise, get a new attorney.

[JFK]

thank you to the both of you for the advice. I appreciate the comments.