by Blind Squirrel » Wed Jul 08, 2009 8:59 pm
Sorry for the following, perhaps self righteous sermon, but this is stuff I feel strongly about:
I've seen soooo many parents treat youth sports like it is different from every other context that their children are found in. I don't for the life of me see why. Parents allow other adults to treat their kids in ways they would never stand for in any other situation. A specific example to clarify: I watched a kid in a game try to bunt a runner over, foul off two pitches and then hit a weak grounder. While the kid ran the ball out, the third base coach screamed across the infield at her "THAT IS WHY YOU WILL NEVER BAT SECOND FOR ME! BECAUSE YOU CAN'T BUNT! THAT IS WHY YOU WILL NEVER BAT SECOND!" and on and on. This is an extremely well known coach on one of the highest profile teams in the nation. Why does this idiot get away with publicly humiliating kids? Because so many parents, like the TNL parents, treat youth sports differently than, say things so much less important like education. How many people would be up the principal's arse the next day if they watched their kid make a mistake in a spelling bee at school and had a teacher scream at them the way the aforementioned coach did?
Relating back to the particular incident in this thread: Have people not yet learned that predators, adulterers, crooks, etc. can be highly regarded, highly respected people? Haven't there been enough priests, politicians, pro athletes and folks from every walk of life that have been revealed as people no one wants their kid around or looking up to? But this CF scumbag was such a great guy who could further a kid's "softball career" so he deserves loyalty and the benefit of the doubt. I, for one, am not buying this any more or less than I am the attitude in the previous paragraph. I can't help but remember a very similar situation about 5 years ago involving a well-liked, well respected coach for the San Diego Surf Soccer Club. I believe people actually continued to send their kids to him for lessons after he was convicted and got out of jail. He was subsequently sent back and did more time for violating the terms of his parole.
Personally, I have no interest in any apologies. I don't believe I am owed one. At the same time, I'm real tired of the Mark McGwire act. Folks F***ed up. Man up and cut the "moving on" crap. Everyone wants to move on when they've screwed up. And the lame "sorry I'm/we're not perfect like you" is a transparent, pathetic attempt to deflect blame.
Three related first hand experiences:
1. My kid had a friend who was on a track club that she recommended and my kid decided to join. The coach, "Smitty", came to our house, sat on our couch and signed her up. Very nice older guy, very enthusiastic, blah blah blah. My kid lost interest after a short time and quit. A while later, we read about "Smitty" being convicted of improperly touching young girls during warm ups. He was put away, expelled from the track association and is now a registered sex offender.
2. My kid was thinking about joining a team in a fairly well known softball organization. She guested with the team, liked the other kids and the coaches, as did we. Then we heard about allegations of inappropriate sexual behavior between the coach and a player. Talked with a Dad on the team who was a retired cop and he assured us that he had this coach checked out and he was okay. Sorry. Not worth taking the chance with my daughter's well being. Softball just isn't that important.
3. Some years ago my older brother was accused of molesting one of his kids. Nothing had ever happened that would remotely suggest that it could be true. Others, including some in my family, figured his kid was actually touched by the babysitter, not my brother. I immediately banned my brother from ever being around my kids again unless/until it became abundantly clear that he was wrongly accused. My kids never saw him again. Well, shortly before he died, my brother revealed a secret he had kept from everyone, including me, for over 30 years - that he had been molested by a family friend when he was a kid. It turned out that my brother was guilty after all.
John
10 years from now I'll wish I felt like I do these days.