Sad/Scary Day In SD Softball Community

[Skarp]

nope. I think someone found it objectionable and had it removed. I don't remove posts. and certainly wouldn't remove that one. I suspect this whole thread will be deleted at some point, as hey booket goes the way of ez teams. have a wonderful day yourself sir.

hi busymom. enjoyed your sagacious post

Oh. Well I guess I have to switch to your side on this one then. The post was certainly in bad taste (as in, "oh no, he didn't just say that"), but it wasn't worthy of deletion, IMO.

[texasfastpitch]

thanks for the free advice. just to make it an even trade, could I suggest logic lessons...

Yeah texasfastpitch, pay attention now:

Logic lesson #1--When invoking free speech rights to justify your own asinine comments, try to avoid doing so in the context of criticizing others who are similarly exercising their free speech rights. It makes you look like a jackass--not to mention illogical. Got it? Great!

Okay, thanks...whatever. The only point I really cared to get across was that I thought his comments were inappropriate. Obviously, I wasn't the only one who thought so.

Thanks for the lesson though...I'll keep that in mind next time.

[busymom]

Peon,
That was a good question that you did not answer! Do you have a daughter?

[softball_parent]

Busymom I do have a daughter and I work with girls that have been sexually abuse as 1 in three will before they are 18 with typically the perpetrator being a family member. I have also worked with a large number of girls and boys who have used false allegations to get adults in trouble or to get what they want or to get even. I see it everyday as a matter of fact on both sides. I sit with the victims on both sides and have worked with the perpetrators of both and have done so for 35 years. With my education, knowledge and experience of 40 hours a week for 35 years with this specific population I certainly would not want to jump to conclusions. I know Chris personally as my daughter played for him and until he is proven guilty I would still trust my daughter with him 100%. Call me stupid but I have seen people's family lives and careers ruined by a false allegation almost as often as I have seen someone's life ruined by being victimized. I hope for Chris's sake the allegation is false but even if it is his life is marred.

[softballl]

Does anyone know when this guy is going to get his day in court?

[StingersFastpitch]

I know Chris personally as my daughter played for him and until he is proven guilty I would still trust my daughter with him 100%. Call me stupid.......

OK... Ill call you Stupid.... at least for that comment unless you are privy to additional information...... Id say most others would err on the side of not trusting a fox gaurding the hen house after reading the allegations. At this point, even though I trust my own daughter, I wouldnt want her around anyone under the charges he is facing because "what the hell else is someone like that capable of"? Any other skeletins that might come out you want to find out too late???????? Guess you would give that possibility a shot? I think its stupid to even suggest let alone be taken seriously about. JMO.

[softballl]

softball_parent,

I wouldn't call you stupid for trusting him, but I would say that you are probably falling in to the trap a lot of other parents are falling into. You said that you work with this type of situation and even cited that the perpetrator is typically a family member. Well, I'd argue that teams these days are types of families. Most players spend just as much--if not more time-- with their teams than they do with their actual "family". Under that pretense, I'd consider whatever has gone on between the player and coach to be somewhat similar to the cases you see in families. I think that it's fair to say, and please correct me if I'm wrong, that in a high number of these cases the perpetrator is someone that everyone trusts, and when the news comes out the majority of the people close to the situation are shocked and in disbelief. Maybe you, and the rest of the TNL organization as it appears, are too closely invested in the situation and so you can not properly evaluate what's going on-- no one wants to accept that someone they think they know has betrayed their trust and done something outrageous.

Part of the problem is that this is they way child predators (and yes I will call them predators) work. They may spend weeks, months, and even years gaining people's trust and then strike, leaving everyone in disbelief. That's the trap they set. From the comments a lot of people have made in these forums, it seems that this coach appears to be a stand-up guy. I would advise that these people, whom have so much trust in him, take a step back and really evaluate the situation. Upon deeper investigation he could just fit a profile. Even if the alleged sexual charges turn out to be false (though i do have a funny FEELING they're true) people need to be asking themselves why a grown man would be texting a teenager about "dinner dates" and "missing" her. Clearly, some boundaries were crossed.

Whether the allegations are true or false, it's definitely an unfortunate situation either way.

[watcher]

What I think is most disturbing about this whole situation is that just is just one guy that got caught and was called out. The reality is that this is probably going on far more frequently than we all probably have any clue. This individual should be made an example of so that not only do the courts, but also ASA and the softball community show a firm stance on the issue. What ever happened to having coaches you could trust your daughter with?

You my friend are dead on, And you don't have to look very far to find them, They are (were) from well known gold teams. No I will not name them, Neither of my 2 DD's have ever been left alone with a coach (male or female) When I coached I had parents want to leave daughters at my house to work in the cage, I had (have) a rule "no parent- no batting cage"

As an adult coach you can never be too careful, That also goes for a parent, Some may say that I am over protective ? YES I AM

[softballjerk]

I Think TNL had a Gold Team, what about trusting that "Gold" coach.
To suggest that only the good ol' boys coaching the Gold team of the past are the only trustworthy coaches out there is so far from reality.
Did this guy have a wife? Children?
Daddy ball might not be such a bad thing after all. Much rather my kid experience unfair playing time, than unfairly played with.

[3Bsnag]

This does happen and to some degree, sometimes right in your face.

12yr old DD is at a local, well known, catching camp WITH parents watching, including me. I'm chatting away with another mom, look up, and instructor is standing behind her, his front side pressed against the back of her body, 1/2 of rt hand on boob/upper rib cage, bending her over showing her how to follow through. At the angle I was sitting, I didn't get the full picture so I move over. It happens again, my DD freezes, the turns to me with this "help me" look. The other moms look at me waiting for my reaction. The nicest way to put it is, we left.
You just never know. I'd rather you call me over-protective than have to call the police because I've cut up some coach and took his hands with me.

After the victim, whomever he/she is, I truly feel sorry for the other TNL players, parents, and coaches that are left with this organizations reputation.