by SnocatzDad » Thu Jan 15, 2009 10:28 am
My first experience with this was at the last game of the season on the first travelling team my daughter had played on and I had coached (12U btw).
Our team was down 7-1 at the halfway point of the game, but I was feeling pretty confident that the opposing pitching was weak enough that we just needed one good half inning at bat and we could turn it around.
I look out to the field and SS and 2B are both crying and hanging there heads. These were the two strongest defensive and offensive players on the team. My assistant coach was the father of one and I turned to him and asked if I was allowed to substitute defensively in the middle of an at bat. (I was very unfamiliar with the substitution rules at the time, everything up until then had been free substitution). He looked at me and said "You absolutely can" and I could tell he had wanted to bench his own daughter for exactly the reason I was about to, but had been reluctant to say anything.
I brought the girls to the bench, explained why they were on the bench, and that I was dissapointed with them because I expected them to be leaders as strong players. I also told them that their job from that point on was to get this team fired up and believing that they could win this game and prove to me that they were not quitter's. It took about five minutes of sulking and thinking about it, but they rebounded strong and started cheering for their team.
When the defensive inning was over the other girls ( I only had eleven ) wanted to know
"Why are they the bench?"
"They didn't do anything wrong!"
"They're are best players! We need them!"
I told the girls that it was necessary at the time to bench the players and the reasons were between myself and them and that their job was to pick up their game to honor the fact that these two were now on the bench cheering them on.
We tied the game, but eventually lost in international rules by one run. I was ecstatic that the girls had fought back and stayed with it until the bitter end. I ran accross a quote years later that I always share with my teams "We've never been beaten, we've just run out of time!"
Even with that result I had parents questioning me after the game
"Why were they on the bench?"
"They didn't do anything wrong!"
"They're were our best players! We needed them! We could have won the game"
In my mind we would have probably lost the game 11-1 if I had left in the two girls in and allowed their surrender to become a team surrender. I also think every kid on that team learned something about keeping up the fight. Yes I believe that a winning attitude can be taught, but how many parents are willing to let someone give the lesson. I've seen talented athletes that were weak competitors, one wrong turn and they quit. I think part of the problem is that most parents would rather hear that their kid is lacking in ability, than hear that their kid is a quitter, when in reality both problems can be addressed. How supportive are most parents when a coach disciplines their kid for attitude?
If a kid boots two plays at SS and the coach pulls her the next inning, no one says boo. If a kid fails to run hard to 1B on a weak grounder and the coach benches her for that, parents have a tendency to make excuses.
