The Cost of Travel Ball…a classic....re-visited

[greenandblue]

Our youngest is now in the middle of her 3rd week at college as a freshman. She is just now calling us more frequently (every other day), which is what I wanted that first week, but she was waaay too busy, we were the last thing on her mind. Even though she was the only thing on our mind.
Anyway, during 18 years of either our son or daughter playing LL, travel and HS ball, we were not the type of parents to yell at or be hard on our kids in relation to their performance (or lack thereof). It wasn't in our personality to do so and... we had seen too many parents screaming at their kids through the years and vowed never to be like them.
So, what do both children, our 22yo DS and 18 yo DD, tell us!? Why weren't you harder on us when we were younger, if you had, we would have tried and played harder! No one said being a parent was easy.

Our empty nest is very quiet, and we miss her so much. However, I have noticed that the house is staying cleaner a whole lot longer!!

[NoTimeForChores]

Still, looking at all the positives, it's the ink thing that scares me. Holes grow over eventually and hide the college craziness. Tats on the other hand are with you for life (usually) and DO NOT LOOK GOOD 20 years later...

Don't worry about the ink, there is always Turlingtons
http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/turlingtons-lower-back-tattoo-remover/1056744/

there is a 15 second pre-commercial before the video

Lower back tattoo, thats funny and dated. They call them tramp stamps now.

[Thefinalword]

I feel compelled to present a different view of the "cost" of travel ball. The inuendo on this post is the $$ part ... the "priceless" commercial ... so I will say that for the most part, if your DD gets a scholarship to college to play softball, most of the time it is a half scholarship. The money most people spend on travel for years, more than covers four years of a half scholarship. Enough said.
On the memories ( asssuming they are good ones ) ... if your DD LOVES softball ... this will hold true the majority of times. If your DD didn't love softball but did it for you, or you forced her to do it for that all important illusive college scholarship ... maybe the "cost" is way more than in a $$ sense. Maybe your relationship with your kid suffered greatly.
I have to wonder what the percentages are for the kids that had a really good experience all along the way vs the kids that didn't. I wonder how many scholarship kids fall into the warm and fuzzy side that this post is suggesting. Just talking out loud what a lot of you might be thinking in private.

[ATD]

Just talking out loud what a lot of you might be thinking in private.

Umm...not so much.

[Comin2getcha]

I feel compelled to present a different view of the "cost" of travel ball. The inuendo on this post is the $$ part ... the "priceless" commercial ... so I will say that for the most part, if your DD gets a scholarship to college to play softball, most of the time it is a half scholarship. The money most people spend on travel for years, more than covers four years of a half scholarship. Enough said.
On the memories ( asssuming they are good ones ) ... if your DD LOVES softball ... this will hold true the majority of times. If your DD didn't love softball but did it for you, or you forced her to do it for that all important illusive college scholarship ... maybe the "cost" is way more than in a $$ sense. Maybe your relationship with your kid suffered greatly.
I have to wonder what the percentages are for the kids that had a really good experience all along the way vs the kids that didn't. I wonder how many scholarship kids fall into the warm and fuzzy side that this post is suggesting. Just talking out loud what a lot of you might be thinking in private.

A coach friend I know has a daughter.... played 4 years of rec ball did the all star thing.... went on to play travel ball... was an incredible 2nd baseman and an even better outfielder.... her batting was phenomenal.... played at high school (a very competitive school and district with regards to softball) and did very well. Her senior year she was awarded a 3/4 ride to a very prestigious private college to play ball..... 1/2 way through her freshman year she told her dad..."I don't want to play anymore" .... in that situation... what can you do? At that point she is an adult and needs to make her own decisions. On one hand you want to be mad... but you can't. I have always told my daughter from day 1 if you ever want to not play anymore or do something different ... let me know and you can. Sometimes things like that can give you a little perspective.

[sftball1]

I feel compelled to present a different view of the "cost" of travel ball. The inuendo on this post is the $$ part ... the "priceless" commercial ... so I will say that for the most part, if your DD gets a scholarship to college to play softball, most of the time it is a half scholarship. The money most people spend on travel for years, more than covers four years of a half scholarship. Enough said.
On the memories ( asssuming they are good ones ) ... if your DD LOVES softball ... this will hold true the majority of times. If your DD didn't love softball but did it for you, or you forced her to do it for that all important illusive college scholarship ... maybe the "cost" is way more than in a $$ sense. Maybe your relationship with your kid suffered greatly.
I have to wonder what the percentages are for the kids that had a really good experience all along the way vs the kids that didn't. I wonder how many scholarship kids fall into the warm and fuzzy side that this post is suggesting. Just talking out loud what a lot of you might be thinking in private.

I'm not sure I agree with you. Of course, there are the parents that are trying to live vicariously through their dd, that happens in every facet of life, whether its sports, academics or whatever. However, I think for the most part, it is about the “experience” that the parents want. It keeps kids busy, so out of trouble. It gives them confidence to deal with different types of situations and it helps build relationships with parents, other adults, other kids. I can tell you that I am a lot closer to my kids after spending hours and hours with them on the weekend playing ball, driving to practices, etc, etc than I ever was with my parents. Is that the only reason I’m closer to my kid? Probably not, but it sure did help!! Sometimes you hear things on those long car drives that you care not to hear (but need to) and would probably not hear if you weren’t spending that time with them.
I definitely think in the long run (at least in our case), it helped my relationship with my kids instead of hurting it!

[DonnieS]

I'm not sure I agree with you. Of course, there are the parents that are trying to live vicariously through their dd, that happens in every facet of life, whether its sports, academics or whatever. However, I think for the most part, it is about the “experience” that the parents want. It keeps kids busy, so out of trouble. It gives them confidence to deal with different types of situations and it helps build relationships with parents, other adults, other kids. I can tell you that I am a lot closer to my kids after spending hours and hours with them on the weekend playing ball, driving to practices, etc, etc than I ever was with my parents. Is that the only reason I’m closer to my kid? Probably not, but it sure did help!! Sometimes you hear things on those long car drives that you care not to hear (but need to) and would probably not hear if you weren’t spending that time with them.
I definitely think in the long run (at least in our case), it helped my relationship with my kids instead of hurting it!

Sftbl1, well said - thats the way I feel as well. I agree about the 'in the long run' and one of the things that make me think so is now all 5 of my kids, from 35 y/o down to the h/s sophmore are involved in coaching kids to one extent or another. The 35 y/o is coaching baseball and soccer, the 33 y/o dd signed up to asst. coach 8 y/o dd softball team (head coach hasnt shown - now she is h/c - love it ), the 22 y/o is a referree for youth football, and the 19 y/o has coached basketball and helped with softball. The 15 y/o helps with 33 y/o sisters softball team and has coached before. And I get to take pictures.

[artomatic]

Maybe we spent more because of softball, but in my opinion, it's money well spent.
I know personally, I wouldn't be as close to my kids if we hadn't taken this route.
I would be double the fat a$$ i am now too...
Is it the correct choice?
For our family it is.
And whenever I see the juvenile delinquents that look to be my daughter's age that are wandering around aimlessly at the parks we are playing at, or looking like hoodrats/hookers-in-the-making, it reaffirms our decision.

I've never agreed with the "you could have saved your money for college instead of spending it on softball" argument.

But again, every situation is different. I like our choice, and my kid says she does too.

[absdad]

Sftbl1, well said - thats the way I feel as well. I agree about the 'in the long run' and one of the things that make me think so is now all 5 of my kids, from 35 y/o down to the h/s sophmore are involved in coaching kids to one extent or another. The 35 y/o is coaching baseball and soccer, the 33 y/o dd signed up to asst. coach 8 y/o dd softball team (head coach hasnt shown - now she is h/c - love it ), the 22 y/o is a referree for youth football, and the 19 y/o has coached basketball and helped with softball. The 15 y/o helps with 33 y/o sisters softball team and has coached before. And I get to take pictures.

When you think about all the time you gave, it must make you very proud to see them all 'giving back' to other kids. Take lot's of pics, you did good.

[Lefty's Dad]

A coach friend I know has a daughter.... played 4 years of rec ball did the all star thing.... went on to play travel ball... was an incredible 2nd baseman and an even better outfielder.... her batting was phenomenal.... played at high school (a very competitive school and district with regards to softball) and did very well. Her senior year she was awarded a 3/4 ride to a very prestigious private college to play ball..... 1/2 way through her freshman year she told her dad..."I don't want to play anymore" .... in that situation... what can you do? At that point she is an adult and needs to make her own decisions. On one hand you want to be mad... but you can't. I have always told my daughter from day 1 if you ever want to not play anymore or do something different ... let me know and you can. Sometimes things like that can give you a little perspective.

I've always told mine she can stop whenever she wants as well. HOWEVER....If she gets to school on scholarship money and decides she wants to quit, she has something to consider...How does she plan to pay for her college education now? I know if mine were in THAT situation above, she wouldn't be staying at the prestigious private school much longer. Something I'm telling her to keep in mind right now as we go through the process is to make sure this is what she wants, the last thing I want is to have that conversation mentioned above. She better be getting a bunch of academic money as well or it's off to community college she will go.