"Not or no longer a good fit"

[artomatic]

I think "no longer a good fit" should have been proceeded with the coach talking to the parents and explaining areas where the daughter might need improvement. After all the goal is to help young ladies improve their game and a few pointers from the coach could help a young lady focus on what she needs to do instead of leaving her feeling rejected.

I totally get what you are saying, and in a perfect world, the coach tells player/parent where they think the player needs to improve, the player/parent happily accepts the coach's advice, everyone shakes hands and lives happily ever after.
Unfortunately, what I have seen in the real world is that this type of conversation strays off course into other issues, emotions are injected, and everyone leaves feeling worse than before.

As your daughter progresses into the older, higher levels of play, if you can look at your choices, teams, good and bad, as business decisions, it will make things alot easier.
Same goes with colleges as she moves into the recruiting age.
If you make decisions with your heart, you end up being hurt time and time again.
Move forward, look at all this as business, and make decisions based on the best fit for your daughter, rather than worry about what other people will think.

[ontheblack]

As usual, Arto hits the nail on the head. The best advice in this thread is to leave your heart out of the process.

I wouldnt put too much stock in getting a coach's feedback on what they think of your kid. Being a coach doesnt mean they are good at evaluating or developing talent. Lots of players at all levels get passed over only to find the "right" fit and flourish.

[Sam]

As usual, Arto hits the nail on the head. The best advice in this thread is to leave your heart out of the process.

I wouldnt put too much stock in getting a coach's feedback on what they think of your kid. Being a coach doesnt mean they are good at evaluating or developing talent. Lots of players at all levels get passed over only to find the "right" fit and flourish.

The whole concept of feedback is all part of this touchy feely culture where teams need mission statements with values and goals....a vision statement....there are paradigms...why don't we flow chart our pickoff plays.....and have our infield defense participate in a process improvement team. Its all horse$hit made to make our little darlings' parents feel good about our new innovative processes.

Find a team your kid can make where she will play a lot and learn a little bit.

[DunninLA]

If your daughter knew this was coming, you had to know as well.

I'll agree with you on about 75% of the cases. However, there really are Dads out there, especially in the 12U and 14U, with very talented daughters who don't know the first thing about fielding, throwing or hitting. They couldn't tell you what their DD's pop-pop time is, or her OB%, SLG, or OPS. They wouldn't know when she routinely throws to the wrong base or misses her cutoff from the outfield, or when she should have scored from second on that bloop fly to shallow left field that dropped in.

That's the kind of Dad that might benefit from a two-weeks-after informal phone conversation with a coach. That's also a good time for the coach to recommend a hitting instructor, catching instructor, camp, etc.

[Chin Music]

Most 18 Gold dads don't know their kids Slg%, OB% and OPS. Oh wait you said 12 & 14u that explains it!

[diverkew]

I have never been a head coach, but have assisted several times. In my opinion, the reason is two fold. First, most coaches do this because they love the game and they enjoy seeing the girls develop. Over time, they develop relationships with the girls, and even when they have to let them go, they don't want to hurt any feelings. Second, and in all honestly, maybe more to the point is that most parents aren't very objective when it comes to their own children (guilty as charged) and so what might be meant as constructive criticism, comes across as anything but.....the coach just appears to be "biased" or "unfair." So, many times, it is just easier to leave things unsaid.

[mygirloryourgirl]

We recently had a relationship with my dd's team go downhill...we decided it was time to move on. I did not ask any questions nor did they, we just took her to several tryouts. It felt good to have coaches come up to us n the middle of tryouts and offer her a spot based on her skill, it happened more than once. She also felt the need to prove herself and has taken on some extra work to make herself a better player. In the end we also looked at this as a business decision and chose the team that fit her goals the best. As they say, this isn't show friends, it's show business.

[miguelpana1]

WOW this sounds familiar to me
I got the "Not or no longer a good fit" when I told a parent \ assistant DD baller coach that the manager did not know how to call pitches.
Later that night I got the text "Not or no longer a good fit” .
He only coached for one season and he was done.
I don't even think he won in Rec ball
There’s lots of teams out there do your homework.

[artomatic]

I got the "Not or no longer a good fit" when I told a parent \ assistant DD baller coach that the manager did not know how to call pitches.
Later that night I got the text "Not or no longer a good fit” .

Sounds to me like your coaches let you off easy...

[Sam]

In the end we also looked at this as a business decision and chose the team that fit her goals the best. As they say, this isn't show friends, it's show business.

In the end, its a decision regarding where you would like to pay for your DD to play a game and have fun. If you think its not about friendship, you are wrong.

Its about learning to be a team player, learning how to react to pressure, learning how to deal with success, learning how to deal with failure, learning how to deal with adversity, learning how to be a good teammate, learning respect and what one needs do to be respected......and have fun doing it.