Abusive Treatment

[94redz]

Bill,
It is ironic to see such a post from someone who knows little or nothing about the coaches that you refer to. Watching the childish antics performed by your team is embarrassing(running in the box faking a timeout-calling numorous timeouts to try to shorten a 1:20 game). Theese coaches you refer to have a respect for the game and the girls that they coach. If you feel your dd should not be yelled at by a coach, I can respect that. Both the coaches you refer to not only love the girls that play for them, but they also respect the girls and make sure they understand that they will be hard on them and and will challenge them. If your situation is right for you, than great. Your daughter is an outstanding player, and some day you'll see how a coach can challenge your dd verbally without you seeing it as abusive!!

[Skarp]

Okay, cat out of the bag time...
Skarp's real name is Wm F. Buckley III, and his greatest desire is to become a journalist of great renown like his father, and, like his father, instill the fear of God in future generations of presidents at official state functions by telling indecipherable, yet impossibly hilarious, jokes. I enclose photos as evidence because pictures speak louder than words (except, of course, in the immediate Buckley family).

R.I.P. Bill...you won every battle, but still lost the war.

[wadeintothem]

There is one 18U nor cal coach that is so degrading to the players I dont know how parents put up with it. It is the same every game. Just yells and degrades them nonstop, every play. He is also probably the most ejected coach in Nor Cal. I've tossed him 3 or 4 times myself and just about every umpire who works his games has their own ejection story.

Most umpires cant stand the way he treats the girls and have little patience for him when he tries that BS on them. Just a horrible a person all around. This also feeds his players. I've even had to eject his players over their mouths, because they learn from their coach and that is really too bad. I think what happens is parents do get a little bit of the "kool aid" mentality about their coaches and soon cant see the forest for the trees.

[sftballjnkie]

With a great deal of hesitation, I am jumping in here.

I think what is fueling this discussion is a misunderstanding about the difference between "yelling" at a player and verbally tearing down a player. I have seen some yelling go on, have done a little myself, in a situation where a player has either made a grievous error or just plain failed to do her job on the field. The extent of it is letting them know that it was their ball, or they should have been there for a throw or to back up or whatever. Short/sweet and the real discussion comes one on one after she comes off the field. Nothing degrading is EVER tolerable. I think the behaviors that everyone is taking exception to are those that, for example, would call a player "stupid" or other such PERSONALLY DEGRADING comment. Yelling all the time, degrading a player publicly and other similar acts are things that NO COACH with any skills or respect will condone or participate in. My DD would NEVER paly for a coach that treated his/her players in that manner. She would have no respect for a person like that and therefore would have a hard time playing for him/her. I wouldn't have to pull her, she'd pull herself. IMHO

[hotwheels]

I believe that there is a fine line between the "Right" amount of yelling and being too laid back. Personally, I feel the younger the age the louder you need to be. It's a concentration issue to me. I have been criticized for being too laid back at times and I now have 2 coaches who are a louder than I am. It has created a great balance for my team which is 14U.

There are times when yelling or raising you voice is important, just not every time. As the girls get older, they will tune you out. If you don't think so you're just fooling yourself. I feel that when a mistake is made due to laziness or halfa$$ effort.....Time to set an example. However, player makes an error on a routine ground ball, yell if you want but will do more damage than good.

My younger daughter is in 10U and her coach is a loud guy. His voice is generally louder than everyone elses on the field. He yells more than I do BUT his girls are younger. Their attention span is much, much shorter. Big man with loud voice will keep the attention of 10U's when you do it the right way, which he does. Yes, even 2nd year 10U's have trouble paying attention and talking softball all the time. I know some people on this board will disagree with that statement considering the verbal wars that have occured on here. So in advance, I am sorry for saying 10u's may still be YOUNG and have trouble paying attention, I know YOUR daughter will not fit in here, just my opinion.

10U's RULE

[TexasBall]

I will have to agree there is a fine line. I coach 10U and 8U and have seen some coaches who yell to much and some others who are softies IMO. I generally am a loud person but there is a difference between being load and being abusive. A coach can actually be more abusive with the things that are said one on one with the player than the things that are said loud enough for all to hear. With my own kid I usually do not have to say anything she reads my actions and knows she screwed up without me saying anything. With others it is all in how you handle it. A coach can be loud and correcting issues without ever actually being negative to the kids and get great results.

[hotwheels]

I will have to agree there is a fine line. I coach 10U and 8U and have seen some coaches who yell to much and some others who are softies IMO. I generally am a loud person but there is a difference between being load and being abusive. A coach can actually be more abusive with the things that are said one on one with the player than the things that are said loud enough for all to hear. With my own kid I usually do not have to say anything she reads my actions and knows she screwed up without me saying anything. With others it is all in how you handle it. A coach can be loud and correcting issues without ever actually being negative to the kids and get great results.

Last sentence - RIGHT ON THE MONEY AND COULD BE PUT TO GOOD USE BY SOME

[bkatona]

I have 12 U's and am by nature pretty laid back.....a while ago, some one wiser on this board suggested that the girls really do hear what their coaches/parents say and to be aware of how the voice carries....

Last night was a greaa example.....we do need to remind our outfielders to back-up bases on steals (still early in our season here in NJ)...reminded the outfielders loudly in the 2nd inning to back-up(1st runner to reach 2nd was in this inning).....every other time, in a moderate tone "Outfielders, back up your bases on steals"....every one of the girls was moving after every pitch.....they do listen well and follow direction.

I'm a big beleiver of catching them doing something right and telling them ....a guy made a mint out of writing a book like that.

Corrections for mental and physical errors happen at the end of innings....half-a$$ed play gets 2 warnings and a "see me after the game"...this has only happened once and thru team gossip should not happen again.

[Skarp]

Is it just me, or does anyone else involuntarily start to hum "My Sharona" every time "bkatona" posts?

[Skarp]

it's just you....

That's what I was afraid of...

(but not any more, I'll wager. )