Quiting softball

[softball_parent]

Really the big dance is what they do after college with their education which is really what it is all about. How they get that education varies and it doesn't really matter. In the end getting the degree it the most important thing. After some time at D1 my daughter decided it wasn't worth it any more and worked in the field she wanted to major in to help finish her degree. Earning $65,000 with a bachelors degree at 25. Not sure she would have had the same opportunities if she had continued with softball. It was the internship in her field that gave her the advantage.

[basher1]

I'm sure most kids have contemplated quitting the sport after making the transition fromrec to travel. With all the BS that goes on in travel ball it's no wonder. Unless you are very lucky, the journey can be very tough. The best advise I can give is listen to your kid. Pace yourself. Don't think you have to play year round. If you sense burnout, take some time off. Our daughter almost quit afte fallr 12U. Told her to take the sping off and decide what you want to do. All we did was present her the options as objectively as we could. Two weeks later she said she would commit to the end of her freshman year of HS. Now it's 3 seasons later and she is now a freshman. She has said that she loves the sport and the only thing that would make her quit will be bad team dynamics. She has yet to experience good team dynamics whether it be knucklehead coaching or unfocused teammates or both. I think she will continue. Solved the bad team/coaching issue by her working her ass off this summer (after leaving team in ealy June to clean up her game) and working her way to 18gold. Older more focused girls and better coaching. Its better than most 14U teams but in order to play at the 18 level as a fourteen year old toom allot of work Should play varsity as a freshman which should also add to her fun. High school is kind of lime rec all stars playing with your neighborhood friends/classmates for the fun of it. Again, if she plays varsity it will because of the hours and hours of work she put in these last few months. We made the mistake early on forcing the game upon the kid. As soos as we backed off and let her drive the car the morbe committed she has become. I'll report back in four years but I think the report will be announcing which college she will be attending.

[tcannizzo]

When my youngest was a junior in hs and college search started, she stated that she wasn't going to play ball in college. In a remarkable moment of clarity, she said, "Dad, I want to be a student, not an employee." She knew the commitment was way beyond anything in TB or HS and knew that she didn't want to do it, even in a low-level program.

I could not argue with her in the least.

Had nothing to do with her passion for the game. She graduated last year with a double degree and still misses the game terribly and moving on with her life.

[softball_parent]

I'm sure most kids have contemplated quitting the sport after making the transition fromrec to travel. With all the BS that goes on in travel ball it's no wonder. Unless you are very lucky, the journey can be very tough. The best advise I can give is listen to your kid. Pace yourself. Don't think you have to play year round. If you sense burnout, take some time off. Our daughter almost quit afte fallr 12U. Told her to take the sping off and decide what you want to do. All we did was present her the options as objectively as we could. Two weeks later she said she would commit to the end of her freshman year of HS. Now it's 3 seasons later and she is now a freshman. She has said that she loves the sport and the only thing that would make her quit will be bad team dynamics. She has yet to experience good team dynamics whether it be knucklehead coaching or unfocused teammates or both. I think she will continue. Solved the bad team/coaching issue by her working her ass off this summer (after leaving team in ealy June to clean up her game) and working her way to 18gold. Older more focused girls and better coaching. Its better than most 14U teams but in order to play at the 18 level as a fourteen year old toom allot of work Should play varsity as a freshman which should also add to her fun. High school is kind of lime rec all stars playing with your neighborhood friends/classmates for the fun of it. Again, if she plays varsity it will because of the hours and hours of work she put in these last few months. We made the mistake early on forcing the game upon the kid. As soos as we backed off and let her drive the car the morbe committed she has become. I'll report back in four years but I think the report will be announcing which college she will be attending.

Don't be surprised if high school isn't a wonderful experience. My daughter had some good times and some not so good times with the high school journey. Even with playing varsity as a freshman and going to CIF it wasn't great.

[DonnieS]

It was the internship in her field that gave her the advantage.

An internship in your field of study is really the holy grail in softball - getting paid while going to college - plus working in your field makes what you study make so much more sense.

Heard from one of my former players last night - she was above average softball player - Texas 4a All State her senior year, but while sorting through her real choices which were jucos or D3s, she got accepted into the premier business school at Texas. She will finish up a year from December with a moderate student loan load - and has gotten an internship from a leading company which is helping a lot plus she will finish with a job.

She said she misses softball a lot - I told her that job will help you get over that in a few years.

[Drillmaster]

Every freshman in college has certain challenges during the initial orientation.[/b] The changes required are tremendous. Their time management must be properly laid out and they must be motivated to basically start over.

I started placing athletes in college in 1996 and have placed a full roster from that time to now and I can say...without fear of contradiction that every freshman goes thru periods of doubt. I would look at their last year or 2 of competitive softball and see if they were properly prepared. If the team they played for basically ran like all their younger teams then their transition can be very difficult. My only advice would be to tell your daughter to stick it out and adjust. The choices we make determine the quality of lives we lead.

[J_O_E]

My DD has had 2 teammates quit D1 softball after the 1st week of practice. I just can't image how you put in years of hard work in travel ball to get that scholarship and walk away after 1 week. I'm so curious to know if this happens often?

Its hard to imagine but this happens in College sports all the time. pick your sport Softball Baseball Soccer Basketball Swimming on an on. It is unfortunate but when kids start playing travel ball, comp soccer, AAU Basketball what ever at age 8 or 9 and play year round with minimal time off. Practice private lessons etc... weekly they get burned out.

We have turned youth sports into a full time job for these kids. Many adults who work 40 hours a week at a job will start to burn out after 5 or so years and look for something new. They are simply doing the same thing.

Many of these kids start in the 4th grade and are pushed like it is a job until their senior years. 9 years of every day every week (pick your sport) starts to get old... Add to that listening to there parents weekly tell them how important this is for them and their futures, then go on to list all the things they as parents have given up for them to play this sport and do this...

F/O got it right. Too many kids blazing their parent's path instead of their own. There are plenty of ways to pay for college....and shoving sports down their thoats isn't a good option.

[DunninLA]

My DD has had 2 teammates quit D1 softball after the 1st week of practice. I just can't image how you put in years of hard work in travel ball to get that scholarship and walk away after 1 week. I'm so curious to know if this happens often?

Just three guesses ...
1) DD figures Mom and Dad will pay for college anyway, so why work almost full time for it, after adding up the hours for weight training, trainer/rehab visits, "voluntary" workouts, practices, games and travel

2) DD has decided she really doesn't like college/or "that college" that much after actually being there for two weeks, so quitting might force Mom and Dad to let her come home.

3) DD is Burnt Out. She was embarrassed and didn't find a good time to tell Mom/Dad about this while a Jr. or Sr. in HS. Now she's got no choice. She hit the wall and just can't force herself to do it any more.

In the second case, it might be as much about College Culture Shock as it is about the particular College/U she's at. I think at least 25% of freshman get that "Oh crap, what have I gotten myself into", especially since at most HS, Senior year grades aren't seen by colleges, and a lot of seniors in HS slack off big time. Now they hit college, they realize that college is a huge GRIND again just like Jr. year of HS.

[ontheblack]

My DD has had 2 teammates quit D1 softball after the 1st week of practice. I just can't image how you put in years of hard work in travel ball to get that scholarship and walk away after 1 week. I'm so curious to know if this happens often?

Just two guesses ... 1) DD figures Mom and Dad will pay for college anyway, so why work almost full time for it, or 2) DD has decided she really doesn't like that college that much after actually being there for two weeks, so quitting might force Mom and Dad to let her come home.

Or she is burned out playing softball and didnt know how to tell mom and dad she was done. Kind of like leaving the guy at the altar when she realized that he wasnt what she wanted for her life.

[DunninLA]

ontheblack.. we cross posted. I realized that part of 1) was 3) and broke them out.