"Not or no longer a good fit"

[1bzymom]

The team she was released from she shrugged her shoulders and pretty much said she figured as much. Had not felt any confidence from the coaches anyhow and was going to decline if they had offered her a spot with the team. That one is not really my focus.

She has not stopped playing- in fact has played far more than she did with her former team so that is a plus.
But when a team has a cattle call so to speak and when asked where she could improve- no response.

Anyhow- this has brought up a drive in her to improve and kick some butt out there with her bat and fielding.
So I guess there is a plus side to it all. Too bad I would value the input of some of these coaches.

[AlwaysImprove]

The team she was released from she shrugged her shoulders and pretty much said she figured as much. Had not felt any confidence from the coaches anyhow and was going to decline if they had offered her a spot with the team. That one is not really my focus.

She has not stopped playing- in fact has played far more than she did with her former team so that is a plus.
But when a team has a cattle call so to speak and when asked where she could improve- no response.

Anyhow- this has brought up a drive in her to improve and kick some butt out there with her bat and fielding.
So I guess there is a plus side to it all. Too bad I would value the input of some of these coaches.

Great for her. I would venture to say that most of the girls that I see making it to the next level take these types of events as challenges. It is a great lesson and approach. It will serve her into later years.

If you are really interested in those coaches input, wait a few weeks. Let the emotion pass. Let them know everything is cool, and you are fine how things landed. Invite them for coffee. Make it clear it will be you, not the kid, or the SO, and that you are interested in learning, and no one outside that conversation will hear any of it.

[1bzymom]

If you are really interested in those coaches input, wait a few weeks. Let the emotion pass. Let them know everything is cool, and you are fine how things landed. Invite them for coffee. Make it clear it will be you, not the kid, or the SO, and that you are interested in learning, and no one outside that conversation will hear any of it.

This actually sounds like a good idea. Thank you

[3'sDad]

Provided both sides keep their word and it is a constructive conversation conducted by 2 honorable adults, this is a terrific idea.

[artomatic]

If you are really interested in those coaches input, wait a few weeks. Let the emotion pass. Let them know everything is cool, and you are fine how things landed. Invite them for coffee. Make it clear it will be you, not the kid, or the SO, and that you are interested in learning, and no one outside that conversation will hear any of it.

This actually sounds like a good idea. Thank you

I disagree.
Once you make the separation, stay separated and move forward.
As a coach, anytime you make a separation, I think you should keep the conversation as short as possible, and don't let it stray off to other topics. The longer a conversation like this goes, the more chance you have of that happening.
Which is what it sounds like your kid's former team's coaches did. They kept emotions out of it, and said only what needed to be said, which is "not a good fit". It doesn't matter why, and if that botherered you, it wasn't the right team for you in the first place.
I never said much more than what you were told, kept it short and didn't let the conversation stray.
As always, JMO...

[Sam]

The parents nor the players really want to hear why they got cut. In the end....it really doesn't matter. The kid got cut....move on and find another team. Tell your kid that she did her best (if she did) and it just wasn't good enough. Find a team that fits her skill set. Many parents set their kids up for this kind of failure by refusing to recognize the current limits of their DD's skill set. They have their kid try out for teams that the kid will never be selected for....why? Its a lot more fun to talk about their kid's exploits on the Firecrackers or Batbusters or whatever than it is for other teams. They do this to their own kids and then try to blame the coaches and make excuses for their kids.

How about having your kid try out for a team where she will actually lead less talented kids. Other coaches will see her and recruit her. Its a lot more fun for a player to be recruited than to be rejected.

[Fuddrules]

What’s the real reason you want feedback?

If your daughter knew this was coming, you had to know as well. If the coaches didn’t show much confidence in her as you noted, and your daughter didn’t feel as if it was a good fit (she wasn’t going back), what’s to ask?

You could either see some part of your daughters game wasn’t up with the rest of the team or if that’s not the case, the coaches simply didn't appreciate her skills. Either way, do you really want that feedback to use as a positive?

She’s already “kicking” butt with trying to improve her hitting and fielding. Add in throwing and athleticism and there’s not much left to work on from a physical stand point.

What would you use the feedback for?

[AlwaysImprove]

I agree with Fuddrules, Sam and arto. Taking a forward looking approach is your best bet. Anything that looks like ax grinding or second guessing what has happened only hurts you and your daughter.

I will say a young lady in our area, was recruited pac 10 heavily, ended up not getting some of the offers she was expecting. Ended up at a great school, and is doing great. With hindsight, probably a much better fit. Her father took the time to sit down with one of the coaches that decided to pass on this young lady. He received the best of advice. They have acted on that advice and the lady is greatly improved from the feedback.

So, it can be done. As Fuddrules, Sam and arto point out, most often you are better off just moving forward.

[dirtlover]

I agree with the group, we moved on after a couple really good years with a team. You could sense the relationship was deteriorating and we chose to move on before it escalated. All relationships in tact, DD doing awesome, former team doing awesome, everyone happy. I know this is not always the case but taking the high road and not blaming others but taking the responsibility on yourself seems to work for us.

[dailyjoy]

Many parents set their kids up for this kind of failure by refusing to recognize the current limits of their DD's skill set. They have their kid try out for teams that the kid will never be selected for....why?

I know this is slightly off topic but I disagree with this statement based on our experience. Our team last year decided not the field a team this year so we had plans to go to several try outs. Since our team was a "b" team and not a very good one at that we decided on several avg "b" teams to try out for hoping she would make one of them. One of the teams we were going to try out for was a team we did not know much about and after emailing the coach to find out more information we realized it was an "A" team. (Explains why we never saw them at our B tourneys)

I wrote the coach and explained I had not realized they were an A team and since we were not at that level of play yet would not be attending try outs. He suggested we come anyway since trying out with better players would give DD an opportunity to see the level of skill she would have to work to achieve.

Well not only did she have a great experience trying out with some girls who were really good but, to our total surprise, made the team. So I would recommend trying out for teams which would be up a step from where you think your daughters skill level is but in doing so make sure your daughter knows there is a possibility she may not make the team.

I think "no longer a good fit" should have been proceeded with the coach talking to the parents and explaining areas where the daughter might need improvement. After all the goal is to help young ladies improve their game and a few pointers from the coach could help a young lady focus on what she needs to do instead of leaving her feeling rejected.