PDad wrote:AlwaysImprove wrote:If the coach was signing a binding agreement with her/us, they would receive binding commitment in return. They are not. They are giving you a soft verbal.
As has been shown here on numerous occasions that verbal can become very soft at time.
We need to be careful about our terminology. I can understand saying a verbal is soft because it isn't binding, but a "soft verbal" is even less so. I've heard SEC softball coaches have come out and declared all early verbals are soft (either side can back out for any reason - no fault) and firm up when they're a junior (i.e. expected to result in a binding NLI).
I am not saying that you grab the verbal and start immediately turn around and start pimping for a better deal. But, if your kid is a 8th grader or freshman, no reason not to leave some options.
I understand keeping the verbal on the downlow by not publicizing it. I expect the player also stops reaching out to other schools. How do you handle the following?
- College coach asks why profile doesn't show committed to their school. "We're just using up the sheets we had printed. It will be on the next batch." Do you update it?
- What do you say when another college expresses interest in her - do you mention she has already committed? We're taking back-up offers? What if it is a friend of the coach testing the commitment for them?
College coach did ask why DD was not listed as committed to the school. We did not tell select ball coach to list or not to list. Turns out he was not that into listing the latest recruit as soon as possible and too busy to update his list. Next revision after college coach asked listed DD as committed. No big deal.
Select coach was approached by other coaches after DD was committed. I think this is a bit more now than it has in the past, not a lot but a bit. Select coach would casually ask if we were still excited about our commitment. We really liked the school where DD was committed, the more she considered it, the more perfect it became. So any other offers were faced with increasing rising bar.
Yes, player should stop aggressively reaching out to other schools. You should tell any schools that remain in the conversation that you are committing.
NCAA dictates that all commitments are soft (either side can back out for any reason - no fault). Trust me, the language the coach uses is pretty specific and fairly well vetted. It has been tested by lawsuits over the years. The schools get together at NCAA 'compliance' meetings and collaborate/discuss what language they can use to maximize sense of commitment to the recruit, yet leave no real legal/financial risk. Which means they have committed nothing. Most schools have a compliance department with some really talented lawyers.
Most coaches are trustworthy folks, and as such you should deal with them in a trustworthy fashion. But they have not really made much of a 'commitment'. Well at least not one you can take to the bank or to a lawyer.
Yes there is a large gray area here. From full blown ESPN, to not letting anyone ever even mention your kid committed. Each of these can be addressed as you go along. If it really helps your ego, fully avoid it, it will only serve to lock you in.
When your kid is an 8th grader or freshman, getting that article in the paper, having everyone run around the park talking about your kid can be super appealing. I am just saying 4 years later:
- When your kid has been caught shop lifting and her dad was arrested for defrauding the high school softball funds, that press machine will turn on you.
- When your kid may not be having the year she is expected (based on the press, etc.) that press is going to be a ton of pressure on that kid. Pressure she does not need as an akward 16 year old struggling to fit in.