Coach’s determination on “potential”

[No1Fan]

I know as parents we may see our DD’s as being more talented than other people might whom are not wearing our love-tinted sunglasses. But still, I would like to know from coaches and from others more experienced.

As long as a player is coachable, continues to work hard and strives to improve, do coaches have the ability to look at an 11 – 12 year old and determine she has reached her potential in softball, or determine she has no long term potential?

If a player starts as a middle infielder, but the coach candidly states that the player has reached her potential at 12 years old, as parents should we be concerned that there could be validity in that determination? Is that determination analogous to being told by our child’s school that our child has a learning disability that will probably prevent her from entering college (not that that’s happened, of course).

I know coaches can look at some players at 12 years old and see potential, but can they equally predict that potential has been reached?

Is that something that coaches may candidly talk about among themselves behind the scenes, but generally do not allow that determination to reach the player’s parents?

[Old man softball]

Majority of the coaches in the younger teams are dads. I wouldn't put to much worth in what they are saying. I've heard a lot of coaches talk crap about the girls on there team to other people. My opinion on that is why did you pick them up from your tryout. A lot of the coaches don't really want to make girls better they want to get by on girls that are already talented and tell everybody that they made them that good.

[extiger]

If any coach thinks a kid has reached her potential at 12 years old, he really needs to stop coaching. The kid may not be a fit for the specific team, but she sure hasn't reached her potential.

[Watermanhouse]

My honest opinion here....

Every kid has great potential. Never let anyone tell you you can't do something. If you work hard, and never give up, you will reach your full potential. With that said, working hard may look different for different people. It may include change (of teams, coaches, private instructors), and finding the right fit so you get the quality game time and instruction you need to improve.


With that said, not everyone is going to be a D1 player. Not everyone is going to be 18 gold quality. Not everyone is going to even make their high school team. Not everyone is going to make every team they try out for. Preserverance is so important in this game. Do not give up or you will not make it. Simply find a better fit.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do to convince someone that your the best player for the position/team. It's their loss not yours, your look (build, personality, skill set) may or may not fit into their pre-molded idea of what they want. Their problem, not yours. Simply continue looking I believe there is something out there for everyone in the game (consider droping to a less competitive level if needed to develop more).

Again, though try to look at the situation without rose colored glasses. Is your dd a natural athlete or does she have to work a little bit harder to "get it". Does she have the build/abilities of the position she is wanting to play? Ex: Short Stops are typically very fast with a very good glove and one of the strongest arms on the team. First base should be fairly tall to help them catch wild throws and provide a good target. Look at their batting stats. Yes, we all get bad calls from time to time, but are you a contact hitter, power hitter or do you have speed. What is your strength, what is your weakness and how are you adding up to their peers?

Many great pitchers are tall, with lots of strength. Is your daughter going to be tall? It's ok if your not the typical mold, but know that if you want to break the "mold" you may have to work harder and continue to prove your skills to the nay-sayers. Never give up, if you want it. Find a better fit so you can continue to work on your skills and prove them wrong by your success, not your failures.

Make sure though, if your daughter is working hard your supporting her goals, not your own. Competive sports are fun, exciting and rewarding but also come with a huge cost. Make sure it's worth it to everyone involved. Good luck!

[PitchersDad99]

Potential is only worth what the individual player works for. It does not matter what a coach says or does not say. It does not matter what the parents say either. If a kid with less "potential" works hard and learns good technique, that kid will blow away a kid who has "potential" and doesn't work hard. It all comes down to the work ethic of the kid. I've seen a bunch of kids who "could have" but never did and then there are kids who didn't show what they were capable of until later.

Relax and enjoy the ride because it is a short one.

[BAM2]

I wouldn't give their asssesement a second thought. My oldest was in Second year 10 still playing rec, we never really heard about travel ball. We were invited to come and have them take a look at her. She was about 5'8 and 10/11yrs old. With in 20 min they were done and we got a 3 paragraph lette, on how it was too much of a project, and really didn't see any potential. We kept that letter for motivation.. After states "B" she did pick up for ASA "A" National's and that team won Nationals, and a couple of other things here and there. She was the first to commit off her team which is an amazing team. We are still waiting for her to reach her full potential. So here's one story that didn't let what was being said get in the way. And that coach today, is a good friend of mine, but my kid has made sure when she plays them, they don't forget her...
this is her at 11, just barely into TB
http://youtu.be/8tWaTNLPusY?list=UUssRq ... 3JodLEb3RQ
and 3 years later at 14
http://youtu.be/ZzK7gz6Dau8?list=UUssRq ... 3JodLEb3RQ
One coaches opinion is just that, just an opinion. Just surround your kid with postive role models, and get her to the right coaches, who will extract the best that they have to give.

[guero_gordo]

There's a guy around quoted as saying he knows who's "got it" by the time they're 10.
All it means is that you shouldn't play for a coach that believes your kid has reached her potential, because he will prove himself right.

[No1Fan]

Thanks everyone for taking the time to respond and for your great advice -- You all made a lot of sense. In addition to the coach sharing that assessment with me and other parents, his assessment made it to my dd through the team grapevine. I have shared your responses with her, and she found them very uplifting. As PitchersDad stated, we can relax and enjoy the ride, knowing the only potential that had been reached on the field lied in the coaching staff.

Guero: Wow…That was very profound and spot on. Thank you.

[OaklandFan]

There are always misperceptions and comments taken out of context. First where is this coming from? Did a coach specifically tell you, or was it a comment to another coach that was overheard because the same mistakes are made day in and day out and you misinterpreted the statement which was possibly she reached her potential at that position. Coaches know after several seasons with them if that player is an effective infielder or outfielder, a pitcher etc. There is a term coaches’ use called "un-coachable" which basically is a method to determine if a player retains what she is taught after repeated instructions. It is used at tryouts and throughout the season and I know High School coaches who cut players on this basis. For Example: if you must repeatedly go over basic fundamentals or plays they cannot grasp over and over, if they never throw to the correct base on defensive plays called, or especially if you call time out on offense and give instructions to the batter then by the time they get into the box and before the next pitch forget, or always with 2 outs stand on the base and watch fly balls hit to the outfield after repeatedly practicing and telling them after each pitch "we are going on contact" etc. Maybe the growth rate over four years has slowed to almost nothing and that is the basis for the comment. It can be that just a change in her program will be the spark to get her back on path. There is also another term “parent detrimental” that parents, who are incapable of coaching, criticize, complain, bitch, and argue with umpires when it’s their kid, etc. Regardless perceptions are like Butt holes as everyone has them. I have had parents who keep stats on their 10 to 12 year olds and criticize other team players for their mistakes but when it’s their child it was a “bad hop” or a "shot" or she only struck out in her last 28 at bats, but only had 2 hits[/u], etc. I also had the same parent after the first inning of his daughter not playing her normal position after 17 games nagging my head coach “did she lose her spot” over and over.
This sounds like a disgruntled parent whose daughter did not live up to the coach’s expectations and can’t simply let go and move on. Be careful that you don’t burden your daughter’s future with baggage of being “that parent”. Simply leave the team and find what fits for you…….

[SC44]

There are many kids that are “un-coachable” but very few, if any, have really reached their potential. Perhaps this player has reached their potential with this coach’s ability? Or perhaps the coach is trying to say this player is un-coachable, but not willing to use those words? Either way, there are many teams out there. I would find another one….