One day a Madam opened the brothel door and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.
"May I help you?" she asked.
"I want to see Valerie," the man replied.
"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam.
"No. I must see Valerie," he replied.
Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $5,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out $5000.00 and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left.
The next night, the same man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie. Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row -- too expensive -- and there were no discounts. The price was still $5,000. Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.
The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.
After their session, Valerie questioned the man. "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?" she asked.
The man replied, "South Carolina."
"Really" she said. "I have family in South Carolina."
"I know," the man said. "Your father died, and I am your sister's attorney. She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance."
The moral of the story is that three things in life are guaranteed:
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer
The Pub
Today's Joke
- PairOfAces
- Premium Member
- Posts: 214
- Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2012 4:52 pm
- Location: White House Tennessee
So trueWe herd sheep, we drive cattle, we lead people. Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way!
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Battle - Posts: 1631
- Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2010 10:40 am
Safebyahare wrote:Battle wrote:How many seconds are in a year?....
I'll bite
Ummm, I don't know. How many seconds are in a year
24...Jan 2nd, Jan 22nd, Feb 2nd, Feb 22nd.... etc....
We herd sheep, we drive cattle, we lead people. Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way!
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Battle - Posts: 1631
- Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2010 10:40 am
Battle wrote:Safebyahare wrote:Battle wrote:How many seconds are in a year?....
I'll bite
Ummm, I don't know. How many seconds are in a year
24...Jan 2nd, Jan 22nd, Feb 2nd, Feb 22nd.... etc....
Wow, that triggered a flashback of grade school...
How many months have 28 days?
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PDad - Premium Member
- Posts: 3439
- Joined: Sun Mar 29, 2009 4:52 pm
PDad wrote:Battle wrote:Safebyahare wrote:Battle wrote:How many seconds are in a year?....
I'll bite
Ummm, I don't know. How many seconds are in a year
24...Jan 2nd, Jan 22nd, Feb 2nd, Feb 22nd.... etc....
Wow, that triggered a flashback of grade school...
How many months have 28 days?
All of them!!!
What's the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
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jonriv - Posts: 4875
- Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2009 6:01 am
- Location: Connecticut
jonriv wrote:PDad wrote:Battle wrote:Safebyahare wrote:Battle wrote:How many seconds are in a year?....
I'll bite
Ummm, I don't know. How many seconds are in a year
24...Jan 2nd, Jan 22nd, Feb 2nd, Feb 22nd.... etc....
Wow, that triggered a flashback of grade school...
How many months have 28 days?
All of them!!!
What's the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Faster than a guy trotting with two coconut halves banging them together!
"I learned the path to Heaven is full of sinners and believers,
learned that happiness on earth ain't just for high achievers."
learned that happiness on earth ain't just for high achievers."
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Fastpitch4Life - Premium Member
- Posts: 729
- Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2010 12:24 pm
jonriv wrote:What's the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
Jonathon Corum has estimated it to be 24 MPH (see http://www.style.org/unladenswallow).
What is the capital of Assyria?
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PDad - Premium Member
- Posts: 3439
- Joined: Sun Mar 29, 2009 4:52 pm
I don't know that-aaaahhhhhhhhh
(It's actuLly Nineveh)
How do you know she's a witch?
(It's actuLly Nineveh)
How do you know she's a witch?
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jonriv - Posts: 4875
- Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2009 6:01 am
- Location: Connecticut
jonriv wrote:I don't know that-aaaahhhhhhhhh
(It's actuLly Nineveh)
No it's not...It's Baghdad...
We herd sheep, we drive cattle, we lead people. Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way!
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Battle - Posts: 1631
- Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2010 10:40 am
Baghdad was the final of four capitals
How do you know she's a witch?
How do you know she's a witch?
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jonriv - Posts: 4875
- Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2009 6:01 am
- Location: Connecticut
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