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Quitting the game I thought she loved

What's on your mind?

by Sam » Thu Aug 10, 2017 10:03 am

I give your DD a ton of credit for realizing that having a full time job at 12 years old is nuts and these are years she will never get back. I give you of credit for listening to her as there are some softball parenting idiots that post on this board about forcing their kids to play when that clearly isn't their wish. I had one that quit voluntarily and one that was injured. The one that quit voluntarily sometimes thinks about what may have been. I injured my other one by pitching her too often when she was younger. She kept playing for years just to please me. She's had multiple issues in life, many of them medical in nature. I ended up losing her.......I don't know where she is or even if she is OK. The bottom line is that she didn't believe that she had the ability to tell me she wanted to quit. She thought it would hurt our relationship......and it did. We didn't spend nearly the amount of time together and she suffered because of that.

I would recommend only that you embrace her new endeavors and spend as much time as you can with her. The likelihood is that she knows how her quitting has affected you and she doesn't want you to hold it against her. My DD's perception is that I held it against her, which I didn't, but her perception is her reality.

If I could do it over, I wouldn' t allow her to play travel until she was an older 12U player at the earliest. I would limit her pitching, practices, and lessons. I would encourage her to play other sports. This is a list of everything I did wrong. Don't be like me.
Run your mouth when I'm not around
Its easy to achieve
You cry to weak friends that sympathize
- Pantera, Walk
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by Blind Squirrel » Thu Aug 10, 2017 3:59 pm

Sam wrote:I give your DD a ton of credit for realizing that having a full time job at 12 years old is nuts and these are years she will never get back. I give you of credit for listening to her as there are some softball parenting idiots that post on this board about forcing their kids to play when that clearly isn't their wish. I had one that quit voluntarily and one that was injured. The one that quit voluntarily sometimes thinks about what may have been. I injured my other one by pitching her too often when she was younger. She kept playing for years just to please me. She's had multiple issues in life, many of them medical in nature. I ended up losing her.......I don't know where she is or even if she is OK. The bottom line is that she didn't believe that she had the ability to tell me she wanted to quit. She thought it would hurt our relationship......and it did. We didn't spend nearly the amount of time together and she suffered because of that.

I would recommend only that you embrace her new endeavors and spend as much time as you can with her. The likelihood is that she knows how her quitting has affected you and she doesn't want you to hold it against her. My DD's perception is that I held it against her, which I didn't, but her perception is her reality.

If I could do it over, I wouldn' t allow her to play travel until she was an older 12U player at the earliest. I would limit her pitching, practices, and lessons. I would encourage her to play other sports. This is a list of everything I did wrong. Don't be like me.


Holy crap Sam. I don't think the cloud could handle the size of my parenting mistakes list. I do take solace in the fact I tried my best as you undoubtedly did. No matter how hard we try we don't always get a hit.

I have been estranged from my 3 brothers and Mother for the last 25 years. I hadn't had any contact with any of my other relatives in 50 years (since my Dad's funeral). A year ago my wife and kids did some detective work (they used ancestor.com) and they found 2 of my cousins. I flew back to Ohio and spent some time with them. Turns out I really missed having relatives but wasn't conscious of it for 50 years. I have been in contact with them ever since. My older brother died 13 years ago but for the past 6 months I have been resurrecting my relationships with my Mother and remaining brothers. It can be done, but, sadly it doesn't always work out.

I literally cannot imagine the pain you must be experiencing WRT your daughter. I wish I was smart enough to say something useful/helpful. But I'm not. I'm just so damn sorry.

Warmest Regards,

John
10 years from now I'll wish I felt like I do these days.
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by E Train Dad » Thu Aug 10, 2017 9:27 pm

There are a lot of Snipey, sarcastic, livid, funny, smart and informative posts on this page, but I have to be honest......this is the most HONEST and humble post showing true colors and personalities of us here! I usually come here to be entertained and get a good chuckle.....lot's of funny snipes on posters, but this one is special! I hope I just did't kill the mood! Keep it up, we are all human and once in a while need to let others know that! All good!!
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