Sad/Scary Day In SD Softball Community

[Ritalin]

Seriously, in this day and age don't you have to ask why a coach is involved in girls softball if he/she is over 30, single, and childless? I would give some consideration to an Olympian Softball player because that is their career.

Otherwise, those three in combo is a strike out to me..RUN AWAY FAST!

[Skarp]

Daddy ball might not be such a bad thing after all. Much rather my kid experience unfair playing time, than unfairly played with.

I hear what you're saying, but that's sort of like deciding not to fly because you hear about a plane crash. The bottom line is that it is our responsibility to make sure that our kids are never placed in a situation where something like this can occur. We all know that there are plenty of pedophiles out there, and we know further that they gravitate to where the kids are. If we don't take precautions we are partially to blame if something happens.

Not that I wouldn't mount the guy's head as a trophy over the fireplace if it was my dd he was messing with.

[dcranley]

I'm not part of the SD Softball Community but I am a parent in the Laguna Niguel Girls Softball league. I know how difficult a subject this is because just over a year ago I found out my daughter was being sexually abused. It was a tough year of emotional ups and downs as well as a year long legal process which ended in the perpetrator sentenced to 6 years in prison. It was a member of our family so I know first hand the shock and disbelief when it's someone you trust but 30-40% of abuse happens by a family member and another 50% by someone outside the family that we know and trust. It is a huge epidemic.

As difficult as it is, our family has done everything possible to create something positive out of the situation and I founded a non-profit called TAALK - Talk About Abuse to Liberate Kids. One of the many programs we have is a primary prevention program where we teach adults to prevent, recognize and react responsible to child sexual abuse. I know the subject causes a variety of reactions in the community but I'd like to offer an opportunity for each of you to take a positive step towards understanding the epidemic and learning more about how you can prevent potential risk for your own children. We teach this class in Mission Viejo every 2nd Saturday or I'd be more than happy to arrange to deliver some classes in the San Diego area if any of you are interested. Please feel free to go to our website at taalk.org if you want additional information.

I strongly believe the only true barrier to ending this epidemic is silence so as heated as this discussion is, I'm glad to see you all talking about it. If there's anything I can do to help your community through this process, please feel free to reach out to me through our website.

[wadeintothem]

Wanna know whats even scarier?

In the following states, this would have been 100% legal
Alabama
Alaska
Arkansas
Colorado
Connecticut
District of C. Delaware
Georgia Hawaii
Idaho
Illinois
Indiana
Iowa
Kansas
Kentucky
Louisiana
Maine
Maryland
Massachusetts
Michigan
Minnesota
Mississippi
Missouri
Montana
Nebraska
Nevada
New Hampshire
New Jersey
New Mexico
New York
North Carolina
Ohio
Oklahoma
Pennsylvania
Rhode Island
South Carolina
South Dakota
Texas
Utah
Vermont
Washington
West Virginia
Wyoming

At least in CA, the DA's pretend like they are going to do something. Its going no where though of any legal significance IMO...if he's unlucky, a slap on the wrist.. maybe civilly? Thats about it. We'll see when this girl is 18 and wants nothing to do with this case and it all goes away.

[melsdad]

Very nice, TNL...a corporate response to the situation on the website....just a couple of comments...

Nice that you are deciding as a board to protect the young ladies in your program....after the founder of your organization is arrested for a sex offense with one of your players...apparently after an unsubstantiated rumored incident involving another young player in your organization. Nice that you would move to protect your players now that alledged perpetrator is not near your players.

Nice description of your founder's predicament as a "personal issue." Uhhh....your wife having cancer is a personal issue....your dad passing away is a personal issue...losing your house is a personal issue....I'm pretty sure that being arrested for sexual relations with a minor is a little more than a personal issue....and you guys managed to place him on administrative leave....wow...don't you think you were a little hard on him? Is he still being paid by the organization? While we're at it, how many of you on the board get paid? Did you think about actually suspending him or maybe removing him from the organization totally?

I want to thank TNL for demonstrating absolutely no character and would hope that ASA kicks the entire organization out and prohibits them from championship play until they remove their cancer.

Sam, GREAT Idea to remove him totally, and not let their team play in any championship play!... So if this happens at a school ( someone ACCUSES a teacher) they should shut the whole school down and fire all the teachers, oh yea, lets do this before going to trial... YEA right pal....TNL is a great organization and these kids work VERY hard and are coached VERY VERY well and deserve to play anywhere. I do realize the seriousness of this subject, and yes I am very protective of my daughter, It's one thing to talk and or discuss cases like this, but I do believe that people shouldn't come in these forums and be the judge and jury, convicting a person or an organization they know nothing about before ALL the facts are out.

[jed23]

Ok, I can't take this anymore. Let me set somethings straight. I've been coaching for 26 years and have been with TNL for the last 4 years, have been on their board for the last 3 years, yes
softballjerk we really do have a board and actually meet on the 1st Monday of every month. We
have 7 women/2 men and Mr. Facione is not one of them(since your willing to post public records, you can check with the city of Encintas and see we rent/pay for a room), if you like
I can list their positions. We did meet on Monday March 3 and did remove/suspend Mr. Facione
of his adminstrative duites(which ever word makes you happy) until we seek outside counsel.
We have been in contact with an(outside) lawyer to see what is in the best interest for the
young ladies in our organization.

The TNL family remains united and we will let the courts determine the truth and deal with
their rulings.

Thanks
Jerry Delamater-The Next Level

PS-Sam, I'm appalled at your post, I've respected you for years, but for you to say that our board did nothing in this issue or that ASA should kick us out of championship play is uncalled for. We tried to move as quickly as possible(before it hit the press) and respect everyone involved.

[wadeintothem]

Ok, I can't take this anymore. Let me set somethings straight. I've been coaching for 26 years and have been with TNL for the last 4 years, have been on their board for the last 3 years, yes
softballjerk we really do have a board and actually meet on the 1st Monday of every month. We
have 7 women/2 men and Mr. Facione is not one of them(since your willing to post public records, you can check with the city of Encintas and see we rent/pay for a room), if you like
I can list their positions. We did meet on Monday March 3 and did remove/suspend Mr. Facione
of his adminstrative duites(which ever word makes you happy) until we seek outside counsel.
We have been in contact with an(outside) lawyer to see what is in the best interest for the
young ladies in our organization.

The TNL family remains united and we will let the courts determine the truth and deal with
their rulings.

Thanks
Jerry Delamater-The Next Level

PS-Sam, I'm appalled at your post, I've respected you for years, but for you to say that our board did nothing in this issue or that ASA should kick us out of championship play is uncalled for. We tried to move as quickly as possible(before it hit the press) and respect everyone involved.

You guys need to deal with reality, not with the various probabilities that will come out of the court.. least of all, letting the court determine the truth. That rarely happens.. what happens is deals and even surrender on the part of the DA. You have girls you must take care of and a much higher priority than the lawyers do. You need to independently investigate this and take care of it on your own. Handle it in much the same way as a corporate sexual harassment type deal. Independently act. You will do your entire organization, your girls, and your parents a very real disservice to simply rest on your heels awaiting the courts.

This could be a very bumpy ride and I wish you the very best of luck.

[ssarge]

Busymom I do have a daughter and I work with girls that have been sexually abuse as 1 in three will before they are 18 with typically the perpetrator being a family member.

I am not marginalizing the problem. But I do not believe it is anywhere near as prevalent as 1 girl in 3, either. Can you cite any evidence?

Thanks,

Scott

[jofus]

I was thinking that 1 in 3 seemed a little high, at least I hope it is. I have 2 girls (13 and 2), so if it is really 1 in 3, that doesn't leave me much margin for error

[Tucson]

I am VERY sorry that my post was misconstrued. I did respond yesterday and must have hit the wrong button, as it did not seem to post.

I am an overprotective female, age 53.

My kids were monitored on every aspect of their lives.

I would be livid if something like this had happened to my DD or son.

DD is now 19 and i have had to step back. Without going into too much detail, I would like to say that I had a conversation with her 10 days ago that was one of those life changing things. She is an adult and it is hard to watch her make her own path whether it is in relationships, work or her education.

I know of coaches that have committed despicable acts and I know of teachers, etc. that have been falsely accused. Just yesterday at Mountain High here in Tucson, a teacher was accused of sexual assault. It is the students word against his. But he was arrested and the reporters were at the school and his police interview was taped and televised. I feel like the accused should be removed from his/her position but not identified in the press. I can only guess the the authorities do that so that other victims can come forward.

Also thinking back to HS, I knew girls that really came on to teachers. BUT the teacher has to be the adult and put a stop to it. Of course, you can always be falsely accused, too. I still say it was stupid for the coach of interest to leave an electronic trail. I hope that his computer was confiscated.