Help! My DD quit travel softball.

[Pale Rider]

Whats to debate?
Its actually a simple choice and isnt the parents to make.
A. the kid wants to play...
B. The kid doesnt want to play
The fact the parent does want the kid to play is irrelevant..If you Google worst softball player ever I bet my oldest daughters pic is in there...she didn't like playing so she gave it up at 10U and life went on...Wife who played College bball (softball wasnt available here then) was upset...but she wasnt playing, kid was...not playing...Contrary to some of yall the Sun doesnt actually rotate around softball...it is just a game...and some kids love it, but its not an earth shattering event if they dont.
But I will add...Parents and bad coaches are the reason a lot of kids quit...parents a little in the lead.

[PairOfAces]

My .02 - I 've never made either of my DDs play, and encouraged them to let me know if they get burnt out or just wanted to do something. But I have told them if they quit softball they need to have another sport, or a some sort of physical activity that meets certain requirements, because sitting around working out their thumbs on a cell phone is not an option. And if they couldn't find a suitable replacement, I would find it for them. Neither wanted any part of that.

[DonnieS]

My .02 - I 've never made either of my DDs play, and encouraged them to let me know if they get burnt out or just wanted to do something. But I have told them if they quit softball they need to have another sport, or a some sort of physical activity that meets certain requirements, because sitting around working out their thumbs on a cell phone is not an option. And if they couldn't find a suitable replacement, I would find it for them. Neither wanted any part of that.

Same here - my kids most of the time had too many activities and we were having to balance stuff to do them, so when DD1 quit softball for a while, then basketball came up and took its place. I was disappointed but went to her games and cheered and embarrassed her there just like I did in softball. She came back - not everyone does. We are very happy she did, but we talk (wife and I) sometimes about wonder what would have happened if she had stayed in basketball. We did point out that while size mattered in basketball, it doesnt so much in softball.

[as the world turns]

Battle,

Why should the parents get credit for doing something they SHOULD DO ANYWAY. Are you saying that they would normally just force the kid to play year around? The problem is that a lot of kids feel this way but never tell their parents because they are terrried they wiki disappoint them. This kid had the guts to tell them the truth.

Why do you cling to the notion, parents should let their kids do whatever they "feel" is best. Isn't it Just like eating their vegetables... Right? Parent tell their kids to eat Veggies simply cause it's good for them.

So no matter if it's softball, basketball, or any other physical activity it's simply good for all children. Yes we should make children excercise and get off social media or away from TV.

Just sayin...

I hope all the newbies are paying attention to this thread. We actually have a veteran travel softball parent advocating for the forcing of children to play a game all year around, many of them for five days per week, because he thinks it is good for them. A stupid strawman argument.

This is what softball has become. The parents have become egomaniacal monsters, hellbent on gaining their own glory through their child's accomplishments on the ball field. It's sick, perverse, and now the travel softball norm. Congratulations on screwing up a perfectly good sport.

Wrong again Snowflake... I'm simply saying parents should parent their children. Sometimes it's pushing DD's when they want to quit if they have "it" and sometimes it's encouraging them to find something different when they don't have "it". Both scenerios are tough, but that's part of good parenting!

This isn't Lord of the Flies environment you promote. All you spew through your keyboard are senseless thoughts on how DD's shouldnt be pushed and need the ability to let parents know their own feelings. Then on the other side of your mouth you hate early recruiting cause DD's aren't old enough to know what they possibly want to do in the future... So what is it?

Yet another stupid argument. Most of us can tell the difference between a kid making a decision NOT TO PLAY A GAME vs. picking the college they will attend. Apparently, you cannot. OK. This is the sick state of this game on full parade.

Doing what is right for your kid is parenting. Making them play a game for your own good isn't parenting....is narcisissm. Thats what has gone wrong with softball.......an infiltration of narcissists who could give two shits about their kids and their kid's health because they want to chase the dream.

Now go eat your veggies.

If sam had a chance to do it again. A sport where no one gets hurt: https://worldgaming.com/

It might help if you guys would actually debate the merits instead of throwing silly straw men into the fray.

OBTW: Excess gaming is the #1 cause of carpal tunnel syndrome. Gamers should take a minimum three month break during the year.

I think gamers get carpal tunnel syndrome to their dominant wrist from other activity

[exD1dad]

Els489 It's gonna be OK. Your DD is still very young & she will find the path she's meant for. First of all I remember reading an ASA stat that 75% quit after their 12U season so it is quite normal for her age group. Life happens.

My DD quit at the beginning of her Senior year of HS after her 3rd PGF, after narrowing her options down to a top 30 academic school that had a not so good D1 team. She didn't start playing until she was 10 & knowing what the next levels demands were, didn't want a full time job in college but most importantly found another sport she liked better. In her case she switched to Track cycling where she rides almost 40MPH with no brakes! She hasn't won a National championship yet but her US ranking has been in the top 10 to 15 the last couple of years for Elite Women & her world ranking is in the 200's but it's a fringe sport. Couple years ago in her 1st Elite International races she beat several riders who went to the the Pan Am games (USA didn't send any sprinters) last year she "causally raced an 8 time world champ" who a month later won gold. She wont peak physically until her mid 20's & she now trains at the Olympic Training Center that's 3 miles from her dorm room. Having competed against All Americans in 2 sports I was her biggest supporter (DW blew her top & freaked out for about 2 weeks) but she created her own destiny & after all its her life.

Here's where I agree with Sam, as both the guy whose DD had the constant usual bumps & bruises, plus back, shoulder & a very dangerous overuse wrist injury as a HS Frosh (where I got great advice here on HB) all because of year round travel softball for 5 years. I think there's tons of kids (boys & girls)who should drop out of Travel earlier, or start later than they do. Now, all her weekly aches & pain from playing the game hard have gone away.

I still watch games, frequently I see old teammates & others she played against & I'll admit i really miss watching her play.

[ontheblack]

Els489 It's gonna be OK. Your DD is still very young & she will find the path she's meant for. First of all I remember reading an ASA stat that 75% quit after their 12U season so it is quite normal for her age group. Life happens.

My DD quit at the beginning of her Senior year of HS after her 3rd PGF, after narrowing her options down to a top 30 academic school that had a not so good D1 team. She didn't start playing until she was 10 & knowing what the next levels demands were, didn't want a full time job in college but most importantly found another sport she liked better. In her case she switched to Track cycling where she rides almost 40MPH with no brakes! She hasn't won a National championship yet but her US ranking has been in the top 10 to 15 the last couple of years for Elite Women & her world ranking is in the 200's but it's a fringe sport. Couple years ago in her 1st Elite International races she beat several riders who went to the the Pan Am games (USA didn't send any sprinters) last year she "causally raced an 8 time world champ" who a month later won gold. She wont peak physically until her mid 20's & she now trains at the Olympic Training Center that's 3 miles from her dorm room. Having competed against All Americans in 2 sports I was her biggest supporter (DW blew her top & freaked out for about 2 weeks) but she created her own destiny & after all its her life.

Here's where I agree with Sam, as both the guy whose DD had the constant usual bumps & bruises, plus back, shoulder & a very dangerous overuse wrist injury as a HS Frosh (where I got great advice here on HB) all because of year round travel softball for 5 years. I think there's tons of kids (boys & girls)who should drop out of Travel earlier, or start later than they do. Now, all her weekly aches & pain from playing the game hard have gone away.

I still watch games, frequently I see old teammates & others she played against & I'll admit i really miss watching her play.

This post pretty much nails it on all counts.

I have one DD who had to stop playing due to chronic patella problems. Having to play year round shorten her career. I say "having to play year round" because that was pretty much the pressure put on her by coaches.

DD2 decided at 10 she didnt want to deal with the TB shit her sister had to shovel, both with coaches and other players' parents. She then learned to surf and its her passion. Its also a lifetime sport, unlike softball. She gave softball another go a year later, but decided at 12 she was done for good. Her mom still gives her shit for it, but its her sister, who wouldve given anything to play again, that defends her, telling her mother that half the girls she played with thru 16u on PGF caliber teams didnt enjoy playing the game half as much as their parents thought they did. The youngest has friends over who are in sports that tell her all the time that she is lucky that she doesnt have to play a sport she no longer enjoys.

Dont be that parent.

Cut her some slack, leave the door open for her to return, and encourage her to find another activity that she enjoys. Softball isnt a life time sport, and there are a ton of kids playing who have lost the love of the game.

[fastpitchdad05]

Els489 It's gonna be OK. Your DD is still very young & she will find the path she's meant for. First of all I remember reading an ASA stat that 75% quit after their 12U season so it is quite normal for her age group. Life happens.

My DD quit at the beginning of her Senior year of HS after her 3rd PGF, after narrowing her options down to a top 30 academic school that had a not so good D1 team. She didn't start playing until she was 10 & knowing what the next levels demands were, didn't want a full time job in college but most importantly found another sport she liked better. In her case she switched to Track cycling where she rides almost 40MPH with no brakes! She hasn't won a National championship yet but her US ranking has been in the top 10 to 15 the last couple of years for Elite Women & her world ranking is in the 200's but it's a fringe sport. Couple years ago in her 1st Elite International races she beat several riders who went to the the Pan Am games (USA didn't send any sprinters) last year she "causally raced an 8 time world champ" who a month later won gold. She wont peak physically until her mid 20's & she now trains at the Olympic Training Center that's 3 miles from her dorm room. Having competed against All Americans in 2 sports I was her biggest supporter (DW blew her top & freaked out for about 2 weeks) but she created her own destiny & after all its her life.

Here's where I agree with Sam, as both the guy whose DD had the constant usual bumps & bruises, plus back, shoulder & a very dangerous overuse wrist injury as a HS Frosh (where I got great advice here on HB) all because of year round travel softball for 5 years. I think there's tons of kids (boys & girls)who should drop out of Travel earlier, or start later than they do. Now, all her weekly aches & pain from playing the game hard have gone away.

I still watch games, frequently I see old teammates & others she played against & I'll admit i really miss watching her play.

This post pretty much nails it on all counts.

I have one DD who had to stop playing due to chronic patella problems. Having to play year round shorten her career. I say "having to play year round" because that was pretty much the pressure put on her by coaches.

DD2 decided at 10 she didnt want to deal with the TB shit her sister had to shovel, both with coaches and other players' parents. She then learned to surf and its her passion. Its also a lifetime sport, unlike softball. She gave softball another go a year later, but decided at 12 she was done for good. Her mom still gives her shit for it, but its her sister, who wouldve given anything to play again, that defends her, telling her mother that half the girls she played with thru 16u on PGF caliber teams didnt enjoy playing the game half as much as their parents thought they did. The youngest has friends over who are in sports that tell her all the time that she is lucky that she doesnt have to play a sport she no longer enjoys.

Dont be that parent.

Cut her some slack, leave the door open for her to return, and encourage her to find another activity that she enjoys. Softball isnt a life time sport, and there are a ton of kids playing who have lost the love of the game.

Welcome back exD1dad and OTB...well said gentlemen.

[TheCloser]

My DD told me the other day that she does not want to play softball any longer. My heart is broken. Does that make me a bad father? I didn't see it coming either. First she said she wanted to think about it, then she said she is out. This from a kid who was the starting catcher last year as a first year 12U on a team of mostly '03s when she is an '04. This from a kid who was the starting 3rd base and caught about 50% of the games for her current team, hit well and was by all accounts one of the best girls on the roster.

When she told me, I immediately wanted to know why, but she couldn't tell me any specific reason. She liked her coaches, loved her teammates and there was no team drama. The team also did well, winning a good percentage of their games and had plans for Colorado and sights on PGF.

When the dust settled and we could speak without her crying about it, I believe she wanted time to explore other activities and build friendships with friends from school she only had "schooltime" relationships with because they thought she was always busy with softball.

She didn't want to let me down, but she knows I am not the kind of father to push. Softball has always been about her being happy and not about my enjoyment watching her play. I am one of those dads who actually sits in the stands, cheers her and her teammates on and is otherwise pretty quiet. While we discuss the games afterwards, I always learned to keep it to a minimum and tell her how much I love to watch her play.

Have any of you experienced this and did your DDs ever decide to go back?

I am sure it's hard enough being a 12 year old girl, but when you throw softball into the mix and the need to have real relationships outside of it, I get it. I am just very sad. Softball was so much of our lives and now it's gone.

I want to do the right thing and we haven't discussed softball in the week or so since she left the team. She is not interested in rec ball or playing for another team.

I am sure the right thing to do is to wait for her to approach me if that ever happens, but I'd love to hear thoughts from the rest of you.

Thanks!

Heartbroken Softball Dad

A 12 year old doesn't know what's good for her. I see it like this, my kids like chocolate so do they get to choose to eat chocolate every day......hell no. Force her to play, she'll thank you later. Stop being a soft parent. She can make her own decisions when she pays bills.

[tbjd33]

My DD told me the other day that she does not want to play softball any longer. My heart is broken. Does that make me a bad father? I didn't see it coming either. First she said she wanted to think about it, then she said she is out. This from a kid who was the starting catcher last year as a first year 12U on a team of mostly '03s when she is an '04. This from a kid who was the starting 3rd base and caught about 50% of the games for her current team, hit well and was by all accounts one of the best girls on the roster.

When she told me, I immediately wanted to know why, but she couldn't tell me any specific reason. She liked her coaches, loved her teammates and there was no team drama. The team also did well, winning a good percentage of their games and had plans for Colorado and sights on PGF.

When the dust settled and we could speak without her crying about it, I believe she wanted time to explore other activities and build friendships with friends from school she only had "schooltime" relationships with because they thought she was always busy with softball.

She didn't want to let me down, but she knows I am not the kind of father to push. Softball has always been about her being happy and not about my enjoyment watching her play. I am one of those dads who actually sits in the stands, cheers her and her teammates on and is otherwise pretty quiet. While we discuss the games afterwards, I always learned to keep it to a minimum and tell her how much I love to watch her play.

Have any of you experienced this and did your DDs ever decide to go back?

I am sure it's hard enough being a 12 year old girl, but when you throw softball into the mix and the need to have real relationships outside of it, I get it. I am just very sad. Softball was so much of our lives and now it's gone.

I want to do the right thing and we haven't discussed softball in the week or so since she left the team. She is not interested in rec ball or playing for another team.

I am sure the right thing to do is to wait for her to approach me if that ever happens, but I'd love to hear thoughts from the rest of you.

Thanks!

Heartbroken Softball Dad

A 12 year old doesn't know what's good for her. I see it like this, my kids like chocolate so do they get to choose to eat chocolate every day......hell no. Force her to play, she'll thank you later. Stop being a soft parent. She can make her own decisions when she pays bills.

Oh no... Here it comes...

[Pale Rider]

I foresee The Closers kid wheeling The Closer into a chitty nursing home someday