At what age should a girl be forced to choose?

[slim00]

At what age should a player be asked to choose between sports? We knew the day would arrive but didn't think it would be this soon. Fortunately for us the choice was between a sport she really loves and one she only likes. Fortunately this seems to be opening up another option for her that she loves. So I'm not meaning to sound like sour grapes or anything. It just surprised me that it happened this soon and the choice was between the two sports she was forced to choose between.

DD's school basketball coach told her that she had to choose between school basketball and her summer travel softball team. He might plan some practices during the summer and if she didn't attend them then she would not be serious about his basketball team. The choice was very easy for her, softball. Actually this is good in a way because it opens up the opportunity for her to play club volleyball during basketball season. If she ever has to choose between softball and volleyball, that will be a very hard decision.

Again, not whining, but I was just surprised at the age.

[sftballjnkie]

My DD is not old enough for that to really be a factor yet thank goodness. What is great though, is the HS softball coach already knows her and encourages her to work hard for when she gets to HS. This coach has already told her that she will not have to choose between volleyball and softball (not that volleyball would really have a chance) and not to let anyone else make her choose between sports in HS. She can play both and should if she wants. The only thing she said was she won't let her softball players play basketball because of injury concerns and I think because of overlap in schedules.

[Kat]

We are still trying to figure all that out. My DD plays volleyball, basketball and softball. (She made varsity as a freshman in all three sports, we are a 3A school about 1100 kids in it) She had decided to not play club volleyball this year because her club team goes all the way into the first week in July. And with the summer school programs for volleyball and basketball her summer is pretty much eaten up, especially if you combine that with the summer travel softball schedule. Anyhow the intentions was that she would not play club volleyball.......she was asked to come help out a team (her old club) that coach needed help with his girls footwork (16U) so he asked her to come and be the demonstrater, (she has superb footwork) her old volleyball coach (now 17U) sees her from across the court and comes up and says are you playing?, are you available? can we talk? So he proceeds to watch her and after awhile he walks up to the coach she is helping and asks if her could borrow her for a few minutes, so she goes off with him and of course has a smile from ear to ear because she is now playing with her old team and their talent is just so good and she fits right in, same drive, same skills etc. After the practice he goes up to her and says I respect your decision not to play volleyball but I don't agree with it!!. And then the emails began, and he is very good at persuasion, very complimentary, says he will work around her schedule, etc. It has been very hard for her to give up that club volleyball team as it was a group of very talented players and a very good coach, (finished 8th of 200 at Reno Volleyball Festival last year at 16U, plus several big tournament wins) its been hard for her to watch it and I think she is beginning to cave as am I. The drama is unreal when she tries to do it all, I keep telling myself this. If she commits to this volleyball team she will have two weeks where she will be at basketball camp from sunday until thursday, she has a basketball tourney on friday and saturday, she leaves for Reno on Sunday, plays volleyball monday thru wednesday, we fly out to Colorado for Fireworks tourney on Wednesday night, come home after its all over.....I keep thinking how will her body hold up to all of this. She is 15, and sophmore in high school, we knew some day it would come to this but its been very hard on her and it's hard to see the process they have to go through. As much as she loves playing softball and volleyball, basketball is really the game that she can't live without, and although I feel she is a good player (5th in scoring in our league, leads team in rebounds, scoring, steals) she is not a tall girl or a big girl and I struggle with her being able to play basketball in a good program after high school. With that said its her decision not mine, I do not try to influence that decision with my opinions. The coaches are the worst (as far as the drama goes) because they all believe she should play their sport and it should come first, , and she has a future playing in their sport in college, etc..etc.. etc. and you cant really blame them they need committed players to be successful, we get it and it makes it even harder. So if you find some magic pill to take to accomplish this please pass it on.

[3Bsnag]

You didn't mention what your DD's age was, but mine is 12- 7th grade and we're running into this already. Softball coach not happy we've missed 2 practices for basketball tournaments. Basketball was committed first, is a school grade, and she will finish it, thankfully this weekend. Technically, she could be banned from playing next year if they ever caught her skipping a school tournament for an outside sport.

I believe kids this young should experience their interests (in sports) as long as we can teach them priorities along the way. My DD's is softball, volleyball, then basketball. Now she realizes that basketball has to go next year and she's ok with that, but I think it was a great life lesson in finishing your commitments and adjusting her priorities.

[Blind Squirrel]

It sucks but reality is, at least in my experience in SoCal, that kids are being "forced" to choose earlier and earlier. Currently that age is around 13. Sad. Unfortunate. When my kid had to choose between softball and soccer at age 13, she chose soccer. She was a better softball player than soccer player relative to her peers but she preferred the greater level of involvement she had as a midfielder in soccer as opposed to that of a CF in softball. Fortunately, she played for an a-hole soccer coach who caused her to lose her love for the game. After a year of no softball she quit soccer and went back to FP where she happily remains. She is currently 16 and hopes to play softball in college. If her soccer coach had been a normal human being, she would probably not be playing softball today nor would she have likely played any sport after high school. I wish the club/travel culture would be more mindful of what is in a kid's best interests and less myopic about "commitment" to a single sport.

John

[Spirit1]

Are you people for real. You are actually making your kids choose a single sport at 12 years old?

Coaches are allowed to put that kind of pressure on these kids also?

That is crazy. If they are good enough to play them all they shold not only be allowed to do it but encouraged to. If you have high school coaches or club coaches dictating what athletes can and can't do you have the wrong coaches and wrong perspective.

Now, if the athlete only has interest in one so be it, but to have that decision forced on them is nuts.

[Sftbll4ever]

My youngest has been put in that position by her travel coaches. She still played her other sport.

For school, she plays all sports (XC, Volleyball, Basketball, and Track) and has not been asked by her coach last year or this year to not play them.

I have, however, limited her HS participation to just 2 sports. 1. I will have 2 in HS and for just one sport will cost me $700.00 for both in one sport and $350.00 for the one to play her second sport. I can't afford that amount let alone a third sport. 2. I don't want her grades to suffer, and with the travel practice during the week (lessons) plus additional pitching time she does, she will not have enough time for homework.

Next year she will have to choose which sport other than softball she wants to do, but it will be her choice. My oldest played commie kickball her freshman year and decided not to play this year and is happy she made her own decision. She loves the weight room work out 3 times a week for HS softball.

[Tucson]

I think that 12 is much too young to choose. What if your interests change - or a hot shot moves in that plays your position?

But, i also don't like "Jill" cutting out of softball 30 minutes early to get to soccer or whatever. I think it hurts both teams and is just asking for an over use injury,

I guess there is no time for band, yearbook or Spanish club any more?

[slim00]

Are you people for real. You are actually making your kids choose a single sport at 12 years old?

Yes, we're for real. I'm not making my DD choose. The school coach is making her choose. His reasoning is that he may schedule summer practices that might conflict with her travel softball.

I expected to run into this at some point but not this soon. But judging from other's experiences on here we are in line with everyone else. DD is in the 8th grade and is 13. The way all the sports seem to overlap I can certainly understand having to make choices.

[jofus]

My DD just turned 13, and she has already chosen softball with volleyball as her secondary sport, leaving Dancing and soccer behind (I could never get her to even try basketball). She plays school volleyball in the fall, I give her until Christmas as a break (other than once a week pitching lessons), and then after Christmas we start working on softball drills. Hopefully she will play tournaments from sometime soon up into September or October