At what age should a girl be forced to choose?

[FPdaddy]

I have no intention in making my kids choose one sport over the other. My DD plays softball and volleyball without ant real difficulty. Softball gets priority in the spring and summer and volleyball in the fall and winter. Sure, there is a little overlap, but that's life in the big city!

Keith

[Spirit1]

Are you people for real. You are actually making your kids choose a single sport at 12 years old?

Yes, we're for real. I'm not making my DD choose. The school coach is making her choose. His reasoning is that he may schedule summer practices that might conflict with her travel softball.

I expected to run into this at some point but not this soon. But judging from other's experiences on here we are in line with everyone else. DD is in the 8th grade and is 13. The way all the sports seem to overlap I can certainly understand having to make choices.

In my opinion, as a high school and travel coach, your high school coach is way out of line and over the top. So work with the kids schedules and if somebody misses one now and then in the summer so what? If they are missing while they are competeing in another sport who cares? Especially at the ages we are talking about.

Trying to dictate what a player does in the offseason is crazy. At some point you may just force that player into the decision you don't want and lose them. We have even in our state over the years had rules implimented to limit the number of days a school coach can work with their players in the summer so that they can't be dominated by one program. I never really agreed with them but now I can see where we may have gotten without the regulations.

[coolstuff]

So far, DD has not been forced to choose, and I have not witnessed other girls being forced to choose. Our travel team coaches give precedent to school sports. Once, DD felt that a travel Sball practice was important enough to miss a school Bball practice, and asked the Bball coach who said he was fine with it. Didn't seem to affect her playing time. This season I have seen other girls on the Sball team miss all or part of a practice due to Bball games or practice, with no apparent repercussions.

DD has already decided that she won't go out for track or basketball when she gets to HS next year. We think that the volleyball (fall) and softball (spring) schedules are far enough apart that they should not conflict, but we really won't know until we talk to the HS coaches at a parent's meeting in April.

Around here, at least in the middle school level, I'm not aware of any pressure to make a choice.

[Kat]

Wow you pay your school district 350.00 to play a sport?? Man and i thought 40.00 for school ball was alot!!! Joking. We pay for travel ball, but not much for school sports. Time management skills are so important, mine does homework anywhere and everywhere! But man the amount of homework she has is sometimes unreal.

[3Bsnag]

I'm not making my 12 yr old choose a single sport. Did I forget to mention she also does cross country, track, catching lessons, batting lessons, homework, projects, and church? I do think the biggest conflict is basketball/softball due to seasons overlapping and injuries.

I will not let a coach dictate her life, but I will step in and help guide her so she's physically capable and mentally able to give her all at what she does do.

[melsdad]

Are you people for real. You are actually making your kids choose a single sport at 12 years old?

Yes, we're for real. I'm not making my DD choose. The school coach is making her choose. His reasoning is that he may schedule summer practices that might conflict with her travel softball.

I expected to run into this at some point but not this soon. But judging from other's experiences on here we are in line with everyone else. DD is in the 8th grade and is 13. The way all the sports seem to overlap I can certainly understand having to make choices.

Your DD should tell her school coach, SURE GOING TO MISS YA!

[Hawk17]

As a parent of a Junior who has played softball exclusively since her Freshman year, this question has no easy answer. There are so many different considerations. The first consideration is what your daughter WANTS and CAN do. Some kids want to do it all and can manage everything. Some kids want to do everything, but their school work suffers. There are other kids who want to just focus on one sport. I think that parents need to guide their children as they make this decision. My daughter is a great athlete. She has done field hockey, gymnastics, and softball. She also has played piano, clarinet, and has been in the school orchestra, etc. When she finished her Freshman year, SHE came to us and said, " I need to make some choices. " It wasn't because a coach told her to, her travel coach has always allowed kids to play high school sports. It was because SHE wanted to get excellent grades and she wanted to focus on softball. She didn't give everything up, she just prioritized and let go of those things that she liked but didn't love. The first thing she chose was school work. That is the ONE thing that has to be at the top of every kid's list. Then, softball. Then, she chose band. Everything else went by the wayside.

She has never regretted any of it. She loves softball and works very hard at lessons, practice etc. four to five times a week. She has a trainer that she goes to three times a week. But, she also has time to do the things that make high school fun and special. As always, school work comes first.

Parents, listen to your daughters. Pick up their cues and keep it all in perspective!

[Kat]

She has never regretted any of it. She loves softball and works very hard at lessons, practice etc. four to five times a week. She has a trainer that she goes to three times a week. But, she also has time to do the things that make high school fun and special. As always, school work comes first.

Parents, listen to your daughters. Pick up their cues and keep it all in perspective!

I agree things have to be kept in perspective and in my house school work has and will always be priority. With my DD's work ethic school work is not a problem she knows its important and she works hard at it. We are also fortunate to be in a school where she is important to them, her couselor her AD her principal her coaches. We meet personally with her counselor to go over her class schedule to make sure she has good teachers that match per personality. Yhat doesnt mean cake classes as she is in all honors courses and will be part of the Bio-Med Academy which allows the kids wanting to work in the medical field to take classes relative to their chosen professions. All of the classes in this academy are AP classes. Our school distirct has online grades so they can be monitored, in case I see her getting into a slump in something. Softball makes it the most difficult in school because of the fact they have to leave several times early. So we try to make the last classes the easier ones. I am often shocked by parents who have no contact what so ever with their DD couselors and classes and then they are upset with the classes they have been assigned. Its pretty simple to get to know your DD's couselor, you just have to pop them an email. DD's is one that wants to do it all, but she is a pleaser also so that makes it tough. She wants to please all her coaches, she doesnt like conflict but she tends to cave easily if they pressure her to play etc.. This is the hard part. I love her temperment she is all about team somedays I just want her to be selfish and say I dont care what you want this is what I want, but then she wouldnt be the same person if that came about. Good luck with all your DD's decisions, and this time with them is so short. To think I really never wanted a girl and God must have known better because this one will pull my hearts strings the hardest when she is gone!!!

[watcher]

Both DD's played roundball & softball until thier junior year, They both gave up basketball & play only softball now. I think the last straw was the 2nd ankle injury to the youngest one because of landing on a players foot & breaking her ankle thus taking her out of playing softball (1st love)

[DonnieS]

>> Parents, listen to your daughters.<<

She never told me I had a choice about that.