Softball Parent Psycho Therapy

[Safebyahare]

I posted a FB letter earlier and deleted it, I was plagiarizing myself.
First off I do not mean to be narcissistic on this but I am my only specimen.
The ramifications of being a softball parent became apparent the other day when my daughter asked me in the car
"dad why don't you ever post my accomplishments on Facebook?"
We had a talk and I posted on FB a few days later acknowledging and explaining again why. (which brings me here)
A little history first. My dd was not always on the field of play,
Way back when,she played left out, center bench, right pine, for a while.
She had the heart and the desire and like all kids wanted to be on the field,
and not just to play but also to please their parents.
It was during this time that I received a deep psychological scar. One so deep that it effects mu judgement today.
I was a parent in the stands supporting my kid as she could only cheer for her fellow team mates.
It is when doing this that you cannot help but notice how other parents behave. I'm not talking about the normal cheering, but the parents who acted like they hit the ball when their kid did. The parents who bragged and gloated how their kid was all that and a bag of chips as they took credit for their kids success.
Now your probably thinking that I was envious, well in some ways yes, but in other ways no.
I wanted my kid to be successful but I did not want to be like these people. You know the ones that live vicariously through their kid or that somehow their kids success reflected on them.
It was at this time that I told myself that I would never be like them.
Well she got better with practice and love of game,
Now currently she has had two great campaigns in her first two years of college.
I have posted some things on FB, but tend to stay away from posting on her accomplishments.
I still have a fear of being like those who I disliked.
I sit in the outfield and avoid other parents.
I see a team of twenty and only nine on the field. I still have that compassion for those who sit.
I think that if I post that some how I've taken some or her credit, something that belongs to her, that she earned.
If I post and a team mate takes it the wrong way.


Is this balanced? Do you post your kids accomplishments?

[Pale Rider]

Occasionally I do 'boast'...but very seldom...
I too, sit (occasionally) but usually stay in the outfield...
And I am a *recovering' Softball Dad doing the 1-step method...
But I will say, regardless of what her journey had led her to, if she was 10 again...I'd have a really nice fishing boat instead

[Cannonball]

IMO, this is an individual preference. There are no rights or wrongs. I've done just the opposite on a couple of sites and have tried to document my dd's journey from the time she was 10 and posting video of her swing to now that she has graduated. I have prepared the "That Dad" post of all time when and if I get video of her 49th and 50th home runs. Unfortunately, and you are right to be guarded, she came under "attack" by several %$#&^ and so, I deleted much of what I had posted. I regret that now.

It is ok to be "that dad" once in a while. It is ok to brag about your kid. On a message board, people can either read or not read your comments. You are not forcing them to read each post you make. For some, what you post might just encourage them to participate and post on their child. Also, when the struggles are posted, yes, I did that too, it might let everyone else know that being a collegiate athlete is not an easy thing and so, we should all be thankful if our dds were able to earn that opportunity.

[artomatic]

I will occasionaly post something on facebook if my kid has a good game, but over the years, more and more, I think if she deserves recognition, it will come from somewhere else, and we congratulate her face to face or on the phone, away from social media.
I post pics of her, etc, but try not to be too over the top.

She actually doesn't like when we put stuff up about her...

[Dugout Dad]

I see both sides. If little 8U Suzy hits a homerun (a four base error) and posts it as the greatest achievement of her career and mentions that colleges are starting to contact her - well, that would be weird. We have had a few heybucket posts like that in the past, classics IMO.
But if a player is doing great things in college and she is getting athletic and academic honors, why not mention it to your friends? I think her achievements are a big deal. Why would a college have a media department and write these articles if no one is going to read them? The time is short where a parent can boast a little about their kid, the player has earned that honor. And for family and friends who have followed the athlete throughout the years, they deserve to be updated. College athletes are public figures and I think the publicity is warranted. JMHO.

[jonriv]

I see both sides. If little 8U Suzy hits a homerun (a four base error) and posts it as the greatest achievement of her career and mentions that colleges are starting to contact her - well, that would be weird. We have had a few heybucket posts like that in the past, classics IMO.
But if a player is doing great things in college and she is getting athletic and academic honors, why not mention it to your friends? I think her achievements are a big deal. Why would a college have a media department and write these articles if no one is going to read them? The time is short where a parent can boast a little about their kid, the player has earned that honor. And for family and friends who have followed the athlete throughout the years, they deserve to be updated. College athletes are public figures and I think the publicity is warranted. JMHO.

I have to agree with Dugout- sometime these acheivemments are worth boasting about I think is important that with honrs etc that we focus also on the hardships and struggles- in many ways overcoming these are even more impressive. How they picked themselves up after dissapointment are great stories to tell. So is the hard work.

My DD is ten times the athlete I ever was and I am proud to say it. She too sat on the bench(freshman year) and in past travel teams. Was once considered by a TB coach to be a defensive liability- she took offense and her Senior Year in College led the team in Fielding PCT(only 1 error) Guys- enjoy and boast all you want- it will be over REAL soon

[Cannonball]

Shameless Boast:

http://www.umsltritons.com/news/2015/5/28/SB_0528153716.aspx?path=softball

[fastpitchdad05]

Shameless Boast:

http://www.umsltritons.com/news/2015/5/28/SB_0528153716.aspx?path=softball

And well deserved...Congratulations!

I have boasted a lot about my DD and her accomplishments on FB and to a lesser degree here on HB. I'll take some respectful boasting over the "humblebrag" any day.

I think one of the only things that keeps a lot of HB posters from bragging more is that they prefer to keep their true identities anonymous. I have mentioned on more than one occasion that I think we should all be transparent here, but to each their own.

My DD is heading off to UNLV next month and will be attempting to make the team as a walk-on. Of course I truly believe she has the talent to do so, but we all know there's more to making a team than talent at that level.

Why was she not recruited before this and has to resort to walking on? Because her dad (as many here will agree) is the not the brightest bulb in the package. That and some bad luck...