13 yr old becomes youngest ever to verbal to UCLA

[Safebyahare]

To the senior members of Heybucket, there is no comparison to your wisdom and knowledge of the process.
YOU are the ones who helped our family through the process and the whole softball gauntlet. and I thank you.

In the end it was her choice as a Senior where she would go, not mine.
I would have sent her to that University of ------- , she chose the one she wanted. The one that fit her.
And I am happy.

[PDad]

Oh and 8th grader (13/14 year old) absolutely pressures parents... She's waiting for me everyday to go train, hit, field, throw, lessons and anything else related. She has broken down schools and anticipated major. How do you say no? Should I tell her, wait until your 18 so you can be extra sure you are sure? Your stance is a joke and one off without actual basis I assume.

No such 13 or 14 year exists, and if she does, I'd tell her to go get a life before she burns out.

I was more taken by her having chosen a major and looking at schools. Based on his previous posts, she has older siblings that have been through the process in other sports and that likely had a big impact on her. I doubt her oldest sibling did the same at her age and agree she's not the norm for an 8th grader.

A big issue I see with kids so preoccupied playing and training year-round is they don't have much time for other activities that help them decide what they want to do with their life.

[exD1dad]

tjbd when you insult a HB Hall of Famer like Sam you're asking to get spanked We all know yr boy is stud ballplayer at Cal & yr DD is fielding offers from big programs but that's apples & oranges & if we didn't get it the 1st time we got it the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th time you told us. Since you obviously have no short term memory of posts from the last year plus you've been on here maybe it's time you took the cotton out of your ears & put it in your mouth.

Thank You Sam....Finally a finger pointing at the coaches the same way D1 football players have for over a decade. Lets face it folks the coaches are just protecting their jobs at the expense of children. Now there's not 1000 Amanda Lorenz's out there but there are 1000 players that could fill the shoes of 2000 other commits every year. There's also another 1000 that an average coach could develop IMHO, but that would require work & that's what TB is for right? TB is the minor leagues for the NCAA. Most importantly dont forget that coaches tell kids & parents what they want to hear to achieve their agenda.

Thank You AI you too are a HB Hall of Famer in my book who helped me navigate uncharted waters realisticly

I know first hand about teenagers changing their mind about life's pursuits including both college & softball
viewtopic.php?f=2&t=69541
This of course leads to me hijacking the thread
"who's going where" DD was accepted last month ED & will attend Colorado College in the fall. Considered a "Hidden Ivy" they follow the block plan, 1 class for 3 1/2 weeks then 4 or 5 days off. The entire school & faculty all have only 1 class at a time typically 9am to noon. Located 3 miles from the Olympic Training Center that houses the 7-11 Velodrome (that will have a cover for the 1st time this year in the winter) she has been invited to train with Team USA by the VP of athletics @ USA Cycling in the Fall
Update: Currently in Cuba all week with her schools "Digital Story Telling Adventure" she continues to be the only Junior female Track Sprinter who trains weekly with past & future Olympians from 3 countries National teams & finished 2014 ranked 25th out of all women (Juniors & Elite) in the country in her specialty(despite simultaneously playing 2 sports for 8 months). I'll keep y'all updated when she starts wearing the Stars & Stripes for team USA

[fastpitchdad05]

Shame on UCLA.

Last fall I saw the head coach at a 10U tourney watching her daughter play...then head to another game to video a 5'9" 10U...YES, 10U... pitcher throw. Made me sick...not with jealously...just sick.

I was blasted two years ago when I posted about college coaches throughout 12u PGF. The old guard refused to believe then told me to get a life.

People this is happening and it doesn't matter how much you all disagree with what's going on or how much experience you have. Right or wrong the game is different then when you all went through it.

So until they change the rules we will see early 8th grade and 9th grade committs.

So blast on...

TBJD33 - I think that's the point of what a lot of the veteran posters are saying. It's not that the parents are bad people (misguided and pressured maybe, but not bad) or that this young lady is not a terrific athlete who will someday be a huge star in college, but simply that it shouldn't come to this and that someone needs to step forward and change the process.

I tend to see things in black and white and right vs wrong straight from my gut. And in this case my gut tells me this is bad and it needs to change.

[fastpitchdad05]

Oh and 8th grader (13/14 year old) absolutely pressures parents... She's waiting for me everyday to go train, hit, field, throw, lessons and anything else related. She has broken down schools and anticipated major. How do you say no? Should I tell her, wait until your 18 so you can be extra sure you are sure? Your stance is a joke and one off without actual basis I assume.

No such 13 or 14 year exists, and if she does, I'd tell her to go get a life before she burns out.

I was more taken by her having chosen a major and looking at schools. Based on his previous posts, she has older siblings that have been through the process in other sports and that likely had a big impact on her. I doubt her oldest sibling did the same at her age and agree she's not the norm for an 8th grader.

A big issue I see with kids so preoccupied playing and training year-round is they don't have much time for other activities that help them decide what they want to do with their life.

Something I never really thought about being caught up in the process for so long and an absolutely salient point.

[fastpitchdad05]

Just took a peek at said school player's majors:

undeclared juniors - 4
undeclared sophomores - 2
undeclared humanities?? - 1
sociology - 4
psychology -1
political science - 2
psycho-biology - 1
economics - 1
biology
freshmen - ??

hmmm

Good stuff, ATWT. Not that they're going to care, but I just crossed UCLA off DD's list.

[fastpitchdad05]

Sam, spazsdad, DonnieS, have all been there. We all fell into the same trap that you guys are making. I can share more about my kid. In 8th grade, hs freshman year she lived her entire life to please her parents. You even hinted that running through a brick wall might be a good idea, she was going to do it. Our kids asked to work hard, and we helped them achieve great things in this sport.

Then ... they really grew up. At around 17 kids actually start to get some sense of what they want out of their life. I know this is a shocker to the parent of a 13 year old that thinks he is in tune with his kid. Actually you are in tune with that kid. Just you are not yet in tune with that 17 year old that will be standing in front of you in 4 short years. That is going to be a different kid.

Just so you can put the jealously card away. My kid is at her absolute dream school. Loves her coaches, loves the academic life, I have zero jealously of the opportunity this kid faces. This kid is likely the super talent she seems to be, and that should definitely be recognized, rewarded.

Certainly some kids are more ready for this than others. Many kids same age as my kid going through it all were way more ready than she was.

One of those kids, it has been alluded to in this thread already, was a young lady named Bri Mathews. Bri was definitely that kid. I got to see her pitch maybe 20 times, all at ASA nationals. She was the same age as my DD. And I still remember marveling at how together she had it. My kid had gobs of talent, which she got through working super hard at the sport. But Bri was definitely that next level kid. She had that natural talent, worked every bit as hard as anyone in the sport, and she had that take-charge leadership that few rare top of the sport athletes get.

The verballing system can offer some definite appeal. It got us to this great opportunity. But before you say: "What could be the harm?" Check yourself. http://www.heybucket.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=12547 Many kids, no matter how we badly we want to believe it is so, are not ready to make this level of a decision at this age. There is just no way for their 13 yo self to be in touch with they are going to become as a 17 year old. Their life value system is just radically different.

And no, I do not think that means this kid or parents have in anyway horribly wrecked her, or she is going to follow what Bri did. Actually there is a reasonable chance this will work out great for the kid and the family. Especially if they treat the verbal as what it is, a soft commitment.

What I am saying is if you are the parent of a highly talented 8th grader, Freshman or Sophomore. Take some time to check yourself. Put away the thoughts of the grand and glorious parade that will play out at the ball field when your kid commits. You have to really sit down for a minute with yourself and identify what you are looking for.

The hype of the media, the hype at the ballpark, naturally leads to assumed expectations. Many families find themselves making a bad decision based on these expectations. I can tell you these kids are often way more miserable than the kids that ended up receiving no offer.

I can tell you about the kid that was committed as a sophomore who happened to be with friends that were shop lifting jeans. She will always be remembered as the kid that threw it all away. The kids she was with, no one remembers.

I can tell you about the kid that took a dream scholly to a dream school. Showed up as a freshman to find 37 athletes there and a coach that was running her team like that show survivor. It was only about the alliances, talent meant little about play time. I can tell you about the kid that went to a school that was about three rungs above her academic ability. After flunking out fall sophomore semester, she came home spent christmas with her family, returned to school like nothing happened. She spend 3 weeks partying with friends and then called her parents and returned home, I can tell you about the kid that was a phenom high school pitcher, but a better hitter. Got invited to play at the school of her dreams, by January she was working at the gap, dropped out of school, moved our of her parents, and hated everything that was her life just 2 short years prior.

I can tell you about the people that were so kind to us, they took us by the burger joint Taryn Mowatt was cooking burgers at, just to remind us that getting 'your' deal is a part of the journey, not the end.

Not all stories are negative, there are certainly more than enough positive stories to make this definitely worth the effort.

It is a lot more like going on trip on the yellow brick road than it could possible ever seem when your kid is 13. As Elton John said in Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, you might find that your future lies beyond that yellow brick road.

"Just you are not yet in tune with that 17 year old that will be standing in front of you in 4 short years. That is going to be a different kid."

Thanks AI,
These are the words that every parent of a young DD coming up thru the process needs to see, especially IMO the quoted part above.

I messed up. Bad.

I bumbled and stumbled over the last several years trying to get my DD recruited and here she is, turning 18 next week, and we still are unsure where she will be attending school and playing next fall.

The reason I bring this up is that it has been a blessing in disguise. She knows now where she wants to go and where she doesn't and has a very good idea of what she wants to study. The choices we would have made before now would have likely backfired and she would have been one of the many unhappy student athletes that quit playing softball and came home when they realized the choice they made a few years earlier was for a person they no longer were.

We're not bitter, jealous parents voicing opposition because we wish our DD would have received a verbal from UCLA at 13 (although admittedly back then I would have mistakenly jumped at the chance looking at my starry-eyed DD's face). We're here to tell you what we've been through and give our opinions on what we think will help others' DDs and make the game and process better for all.

Best of luck to the Sosa family and all those families as they attempt to navigate through this harrowing process. God knows it's not easy. Especially when it seems like it is.

[Safebyahare]

I do kina like what tbid33 asked earlier.
What would you do if UCLA offered your 8th grader a scholarship.

I would accept it right away. Then I would hang it on my kids neck like a noose.
Each time she would want to do something else other than practice or prepare for a game I would add a brick to it.
It would choke her and it would consume me to the point that I would f up her life and any father daughter relationship.
I would rob her the chance to enjoy HS life. I would catch her before she feel or made a mistake. She would never learn this life lesson. The wedge and gap would grow until I would loose her. hate and resentment would fill our lives.
Now that is not me,,,,I checked myself on Heybucket and kept it all in perspective and fun.
Now she is like a booger that I can not flick off or wipe under the car seat. Crap she will be back this weekend again!

[tbjd33]

I do kina like what tbid33 asked earlier.
What would you do if UCLA offered your 8th grader a scholarship.

It is a question others have faced and guess what. They told the coaches it was too early and they would give them an answer later and surprise, surprise, the offer was still there and the kid accepted. If you have a top tier player that is being offered by the big programs that early they will still want you later on. You can wait if you choose to do so contrary to what some belioeve

100% correct...

[Tyler Durden]

Well well well......Ai love-fest and I missed it. Ai we can hug it out in Vegas in 3 weeks.