13 yr old becomes youngest ever to verbal to UCLA

[artomatic]

^^some great insights Always Improve^^

That post about Bri took me right back to the day when it happened. A very sad day for many.

Congrats to this young lady, sounds like she is a talented, hard worker.
I don't think anyone here is denying her talent.
What many who have gone through it are saying is take a pause, take a breath, look at your kid as your young daughter, not a product or commodity.
Many many parents of young players have come on here saying "I have no choice, my kid begs me to practice with her every day". Just try to keep things balanced. It's not the end of the world if they want to go to a sleepover, or shopping, or a dance. Balance.

My kid is now a sophomore in college, had a decent freshman year in a big conference, made us all proud.
But last week I think I was the proudest I have been since she started college. Why? When she got back to school after the Christmas break, she called us and said she needed groceries, She knew what she needed, She knew about how much she was going to spend. She discussed some recipes with my wife, as now she cooks for herself quite a bit.
Basically learning to live on her own. Something that would have never, ever happened a year ago.
These small steps are what will make her successful long after her college softball career is over.

And as many others have said, there will come a time when your daughter stands before you, and you will say"Who the heck is this person?" Where did my little girl go?"
Enjoy that little girl as you will wake up one day and that little girl will be a grown woman. Give her the balance to be successful in life.

[Sam]

AI,

That was the best post I've ever read.

[Dugout Dad]

Sam, spazsdad, DonnieS, have all been there. We all fell into the same trap that you guys are making. I can share more about my kid. In 8th grade, hs freshman year she lived her entire life to please her parents. You even hinted that running through a brick wall might be a good idea, she was going to do it. Our kids asked to work hard, and we helped them achieve great things in this sport.

Then ... they really grew up. At around 17 kids actually start to get some sense of what they want out of their life. I know this is a shocker to the parent of a 13 year old that thinks he is in tune with his kid. Actually you are in tune with that kid. Just you are not yet in tune with that 17 year old that will be standing in front of you in 4 short years. That is going to be a different kid.

Just so you can put the jealously card away. My kid is at her absolute dream school. Loves her coaches, loves the academic life, I have zero jealously of the opportunity this kid faces. This kid is likely the super talent she seems to be, and that should definitely be recognized, rewarded.

Certainly some kids are more ready for this than others. Many kids same age as my kid going through it all were way more ready than she was.

One of those kids, it has been alluded to in this thread already, was a young lady named Bri Mathews. Bri was definitely that kid. I got to see her pitch maybe 20 times, all at ASA nationals. She was the same age as my DD. And I still remember marveling at how together she had it. My kid had gobs of talent, which she got through working super hard at the sport. But Bri was definitely that next level kid. She had that natural talent, worked every bit as hard as anyone in the sport, and she had that take-charge leadership that few rare top of the sport athletes get.

The verballing system can offer some definite appeal. It got us to this great opportunity. But before you say: "What could be the harm?" Check yourself. http://www.heybucket.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=12547 Many kids, no matter how we badly we want to believe it is so, are not ready to make this level of a decision at this age. There is just no way for their 13 yo self to be in touch with they are going to become as a 17 year old. Their life value system is just radically different.

And no, I do not think that means this kid or parents have in anyway horribly wrecked her, or she is going to follow what Bri did. Actually there is a reasonable chance this will work out great for the kid and the family. Especially if they treat the verbal as what it is, a soft commitment.

What I am saying is if you are the parent of a highly talented 8th grader, Freshman or Sophomore. Take some time to check yourself. Put away the thoughts of the grand and glorious parade that will play out at the ball field when your kid commits. You have to really sit down for a minute with yourself and identify what you are looking for.

The hype of the media, the hype at the ballpark, naturally leads to assumed expectations. Many families find themselves making a bad decision based on these expectations. I can tell you these kids are often way more miserable than the kids that ended up receiving no offer.

I can tell you about the kid that was committed as a sophomore who happened to be with friends that were shop lifting jeans. She will always be remembered as the kid that threw it all away. The kids she was with, no one remembers.

I can tell you about the kid that took a dream scholly to a dream school. Showed up as a freshman to find 37 athletes there and a coach that was running her team like that show survivor. It was only about the alliances, talent meant little about play time. I can tell you about the kid that went to a school that was about three rungs above her academic ability. After flunking out fall sophomore semester, she came home spent christmas with her family, returned to school like nothing happened. She spend 3 weeks partying with friends and then called her parents and returned home, I can tell you about the kid that was a phenom high school pitcher, but a better hitter. Got invited to play at the school of her dreams, by January she was working at the gap, dropped out of school, moved our of her parents, and hated everything that was her life just 2 short years prior.

I can tell you about the people that were so kind to us, they took us by the burger joint Taryn Mowatt was cooking burgers at, just to remind us that getting 'your' deal is a part of the journey, not the end.

Not all stories are negative, there are certainly more than enough positive stories to make this definitely worth the effort.

It is a lot more like going on trip on the yellow brick road than it could possible ever seem when your kid is 13. As Elton John said in Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, you might find that your future lies beyond that yellow brick road.

[eclipse09]

Love the reminders of why Hey Bucket is at the top of the list when I am online. Thanks!

[jonriv]

Great post AI.

[catcherzrule]

Shame on UCLA.

Last fall I saw the head coach at a 10U tourney watching her daughter play...then head to another game to video a 5'9" 10U...YES, 10U... pitcher throw. Made me sick...not with jealously...just sick.

[as the world turns]

I'll drink the Koolaid all day if it helps my DD...

Oh and 8th grader (13/14 year old) absolutely pressures parents... She's waiting for me everyday to go train, hit, field, throw, lessons and anything else related. She has broken down schools and anticipated major. How do you say no? Should I tell her, wait until your 18 so you can be extra sure you are sure? Your stance is a joke and one off without actual basis I assume.

No such 13 or 14 year exists, and if she does, I'd tell her to go get a life before she burns out.

Have you actually been through or in the midst of this process?

You make it sound like a colonoscopy

[tbjd33]

I'll drink the Koolaid all day if it helps my DD...

Oh and 8th grader (13/14 year old) absolutely pressures parents... She's waiting for me everyday to go train, hit, field, throw, lessons and anything else related. She has broken down schools and anticipated major. How do you say no? Should I tell her, wait until your 18 so you can be extra sure you are sure? Your stance is a joke and one off without actual basis I assume.

No such 13 or 14 year exists, and if she does, I'd tell her to go get a life before she burns out.

Have you actually been through or in the midst of this process?

You make it sound like a colonoscopy

I was under the impression working towards a college scholarship is getting a life... I guess I'm weird along with the many thousands of parents helping their DD's.

Just saying!

[tbjd33]

Shame on UCLA.

Last fall I saw the head coach at a 10U tourney watching her daughter play...then head to another game to video a 5'9" 10U...YES, 10U... pitcher throw. Made me sick...not with jealously...just sick.

I was blasted two years ago when I posted about college coaches throughout 12u PGF. The old guard refused to believe then told me to get a life.

People this is happening and it doesn't matter how much you all disagree with what's going on or how much experience you have. Right or wrong the game is different then when you all went through it.

So until they change the rules we will see early 8th grade and 9th grade committs.

So blast on...

[as the world turns]

Just took a peek at said school player's majors:

undeclared juniors - 4
undeclared sophomores - 2
undeclared humanities?? - 1
sociology - 4
psychology -1
political science - 2
psycho-biology - 1
economics - 1
biology
freshmen - ??

hmmm