13 yr old becomes youngest ever to verbal to UCLA

[as the world turns]

have Tudors

I know a lot of kids who don't live in Tudors and they do well. It is not a necessity.

Wow. Gotta love you!

[as the world turns]

It is obvious that this young lady is very talented and by all accounts on this site works hard. I am sure that this was great news to this young lady and her family.

As far as a great accomplishment-not sure. Here is what she got:

UCLA bascically said that we have some ($$$$) for you(which can change) maybe if the following does not happen:

-coach changes
-injury
-lousy grades
-bad sat/act
-we change our mind
-skills dont change

Now this obviously puts her in better position than 99% of her peers

The broader question is it good for the sport? IMO, no. Despite Sam's obvious hyperbole, he actually brings up some good points that should cause everyone on this site to lokk at themselves in the mirror. To dismiss those(with experience) as "haters" or "jealous" is foolhardy. we should all think back about what are deision process was like at 13 and how much can and does happen from 13-18. I think can all understand why the parents would want this and why the coaches do this. Unfortunately it sets up an "arms race" where coaches commit younger and younger(as well as more and more" and parents/athletes fee more and more pressured to commit or be left behind. How many times do you read a "Who's Going Where" post and see "school of their dreams" and you see the school and go WTF, really? IMO the choice of school should be made on academic reasons and what opportunities it will help in a career/emplyment after school. If it does not, frankly it is a waste of time. Obviously many players commit early, go to the school of their "dreams" and it works out great, but how many cast to the side somewhere along the process? We never hear about those.

It is right to celebrate the current fortunes of this young player, but we should also be aware of the pitfalls and consequences that may result

I am agreeing with you on this one.............doesn't mean we'll be taking warm showers together until the wee hours of the morning.

[jonriv]

It is obvious that this young lady is very talented and by all accounts on this site works hard. I am sure that this was great news to this young lady and her family.

As far as a great accomplishment-not sure. Here is what she got:

UCLA bascically said that we have some ($$$$) for you(which can change) maybe if the following does not happen:

-coach changes
-injury
-lousy grades
-bad sat/act
-we change our mind
-skills dont change

Now this obviously puts her in better position than 99% of her peers

The broader question is it good for the sport? IMO, no. Despite Sam's obvious hyperbole, he actually brings up some good points that should cause everyone on this site to lokk at themselves in the mirror. To dismiss those(with experience) as "haters" or "jealous" is foolhardy. we should all think back about what are deision process was like at 13 and how much can and does happen from 13-18. I think can all understand why the parents would want this and why the coaches do this. Unfortunately it sets up an "arms race" where coaches commit younger and younger(as well as more and more" and parents/athletes fee more and more pressured to commit or be left ehind. How many times do you read a "Who's Going Where" post and see "school of their dreams" and you see the school and go WTF, really? IMO the choice of school should be made on academic reasons and what opportunities it will help in a career/emplyment after school. If it does not, frankly it is a waste of time. Obviously many players commit early, go to the school of their "dreams" and it works out great, but how many cast to the side somewhere along the process? We never hear about those.

It is right to celebrate the current fortunes of this young player, but we should also be aware of the pitfalls and consequences that may result

I am agreeing with you on this one.............doesn't mean we'll be taking warm showers together until the wee hours of the morning.

You never know?

[fastpitchdad05]

It is obvious that this young lady is very talented and by all accounts on this site works hard. I am sure that this was great news to this young lady and her family.

As far as a great accomplishment-not sure. Here is what she got:

UCLA bascically said that we have some ($$$$) for you(which can change) maybe if the following does not happen:

-coach changes
-injury
-lousy grades
-bad sat/act
-we change our mind
-skills dont change

Now this obviously puts her in better position than 99% of her peers

The broader question is it good for the sport? IMO, no. Despite Sam's obvious hyperbole, he actually brings up some good points that should cause everyone on this site to lokk at themselves in the mirror. To dismiss those(with experience) as "haters" or "jealous" is foolhardy. we should all think back about what are deision process was like at 13 and how much can and does happen from 13-18. I think can all understand why the parents would want this and why the coaches do this. Unfortunately it sets up an "arms race" where coaches commit younger and younger(as well as more and more" and parents/athletes fee more and more pressured to commit or be left ehind. How many times do you read a "Who's Going Where" post and see "school of their dreams" and you see the school and go WTF, really? IMO the choice of school should be made on academic reasons and what opportunities it will help in a career/emplyment after school. If it does not, frankly it is a waste of time. Obviously many players commit early, go to the school of their "dreams" and it works out great, but how many cast to the side somewhere along the process? We never hear about those.

It is right to celebrate the current fortunes of this young player, but we should also be aware of the pitfalls and consequences that may result

I am agreeing with you on this one.............doesn't mean we'll be taking warm showers together until the wee hours of the morning.

You never know?

Now that's a thread killer!

[Pale Rider]

I am agreeing with you on this one.............doesn't mean we'll be taking warm showers together until the wee hours of the morning.

I just threw up on my keyboard...thanks

[Sam]

Comparing a college choice to arranged marriage? WTF. UCLA is a great school, offers a world class education in a wide variety of fields. Deciding to VERBAL there at an early age to give your daughter an inside track is a great thing to have in your pocket at 13. Maybe it comes to fruition, maybe it doesn't, but it sure as hell doesn't hurt to have a scholarship offer on the table (even a verbal) at 13.

It's a verbal for God sakes, it is not binding, If the kid decides at 16 she wants to study something that UCLA does not offer, or she decides that maybe she does not want to go through the grind of playing for a top 10 D1 program and focus on academics more, She can back out and go to any school in the nation and say she was a verbal commit to UCLA and get a look on the spot.

Every kid is different and every family is different, just assuming she is being taken advantage of or is being pressured, or will be crushed under the weight of the expectations is arrogant. We don't know the specifics of the family, maybe three generations of her family has already gone to UCLA so it was decided a long time ago she would go there anyway. Maybe she is pressuring her parents to go there. Maybe she likes bears a lot.

Her parents sure as hell don't deserve to be criticized (either directly or indirectly) by a bunch of people who don't know them or their situation.

Actually the comparison to an arranged marriage is valid. I notice your response dismissed the argument without attempting to say why you felt it wasn't valid.

If the trend continues toward earlier and earlier verbals there won't be scholarships available for kids who de-commit. That is one of the points being made here. It only adds to the exploitation.

A 13 year old doesn't pressure her parents to do anything.

The criticism of the parents and the coaches has to do with future kids who will now be exploited further by their actions normalizing this behavior by people who would just as soon use these kids, toss them aside and move onto the next victim. These schools know about the pressures they apply and could give a flying f#ck. the pressure has already taken a terrible toll on many of these young ladies. If we who's see this as destructive remain silent, we acquiesce.

I haven't posted here in months but I couldn't stand by and listen to the koolaid drinking sycophants glorify a despicable act by a desperate coach.

[tbjd33]

Comparing a college choice to arranged marriage? WTF. UCLA is a great school, offers a world class education in a wide variety of fields. Deciding to VERBAL there at an early age to give your daughter an inside track is a great thing to have in your pocket at 13. Maybe it comes to fruition, maybe it doesn't, but it sure as hell doesn't hurt to have a scholarship offer on the table (even a verbal) at 13.

It's a verbal for God sakes, it is not binding, If the kid decides at 16 she wants to study something that UCLA does not offer, or she decides that maybe she does not want to go through the grind of playing for a top 10 D1 program and focus on academics more, She can back out and go to any school in the nation and say she was a verbal commit to UCLA and get a look on the spot.

Every kid is different and every family is different, just assuming she is being taken advantage of or is being pressured, or will be crushed under the weight of the expectations is arrogant. We don't know the specifics of the family, maybe three generations of her family has already gone to UCLA so it was decided a long time ago she would go there anyway. Maybe she is pressuring her parents to go there. Maybe she likes bears a lot.

Her parents sure as hell don't deserve to be criticized (either directly or indirectly) by a bunch of people who don't know them or their situation.

Actually the comparison to an arranged marriage is valid. I notice your response dismissed the argument without attempting to say why you felt it wasn't valid.

If the trend continues toward earlier and earlier verbals there won't be scholarships available for kids who de-commit. That is one of the points being made here. It only adds to the exploitation.

A 13 year old doesn't pressure her parents to do anything.

The criticism of the parents and the coaches has to do with future kids who will now be exploited further by their actions normalizing this behavior by people who would just as soon use these kids, toss them aside and move onto the next victim. These schools know about the pressures they apply and could give a flying f#ck. the pressure has already taken a terrible toll on many of these young ladies. If we who's see this as destructive remain silent, we acquiesce.

I haven't posted here in months but I couldn't stand by and listen to the koolaid drinking sycophants glorify a despicable act by a desperate coach.

I'll drink the Koolaid all day if it helps my DD...

Oh and 8th grader (13/14 year old) absolutely pressures parents... She's waiting for me everyday to go train, hit, field, throw, lessons and anything else related. She has broken down schools and anticipated major. How do you say no? Should I tell her, wait until your 18 so you can be extra sure you are sure? Your stance is a joke and one off without actual basis I assume.

Have you actually been through or in the midst of this process? You sound as though you have no clue and presenting only your observations. I assure you I speak in realtime with experience. This process is NOTHING as you depict!

[DonnieS]

Have you actually been through or in the midst of this process? You sound as though you have no clue and presenting only your observations. I assure you I speak in realtime with experience. This process is NOTHING as you depict!

Wow, lets hope someday we can all really understand.

[Mark H]

... These schools know about the pressures they apply and could give a flying f#ck. the pressure has already taken a terrible toll on many of these young ladies. If we who's see this as destructive remain silent, we acquiesce.

I haven't posted here in months but I couldn't stand by and listen to the koolaid drinking sycophants glorify a despicable act by a desperate coach.

I have yet to talk to a college coach who likes the early committing. They just don't want to be the first one to quit doing it and get left behind on the top kids.

[AlwaysImprove]

Sam, spazsdad, DonnieS, have all been there. We all fell into the same trap that you guys are making. I can share more about my kid. In 8th grade, hs freshman year she lived her entire life to please her parents. You even hinted that running through a brick wall might be a good idea, she was going to do it. Our kids asked to work hard, and we helped them achieve great things in this sport.

Then ... they really grew up. At around 17 kids actually start to get some sense of what they want out of their life. I know this is a shocker to the parent of a 13 year old that thinks he is in tune with his kid. Actually you are in tune with that kid. Just you are not yet in tune with that 17 year old that will be standing in front of you in 4 short years. That is going to be a different kid.

Just so you can put the jealously card away. My kid is at her absolute dream school. Loves her coaches, loves the academic life, I have zero jealously of the opportunity this kid faces. This kid is likely the super talent she seems to be, and that should definitely be recognized, rewarded.

Certainly some kids are more ready for this than others. Many kids same age as my kid going through it all were way more ready than she was.

One of those kids, it has been alluded to in this thread already, was a young lady named Bri Mathews. Bri was definitely that kid. I got to see her pitch maybe 20 times, all at ASA nationals. She was the same age as my DD. And I still remember marveling at how together she had it. My kid had gobs of talent, which she got through working super hard at the sport. But Bri was definitely that next level kid. She had that natural talent, worked every bit as hard as anyone in the sport, and she had that take-charge leadership that few rare top of the sport athletes get.

The verballing system can offer some definite appeal. It got us to this great opportunity. But before you say: "What could be the harm?" Check yourself. http://www.heybucket.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=12547 Many kids, no matter how we badly we want to believe it is so, are not ready to make this level of a decision at this age. There is just no way for their 13 yo self to be in touch with they are going to become as a 17 year old. Their life value system is just radically different.

And no, I do not think that means this kid or parents have in anyway horribly wrecked her, or she is going to follow what Bri did. Actually there is a reasonable chance this will work out great for the kid and the family. Especially if they treat the verbal as what it is, a soft commitment.

What I am saying is if you are the parent of a highly talented 8th grader, Freshman or Sophomore. Take some time to check yourself. Put away the thoughts of the grand and glorious parade that will play out at the ball field when your kid commits. You have to really sit down for a minute with yourself and identify what you are looking for.

The hype of the media, the hype at the ballpark, naturally leads to assumed expectations. Many families find themselves making a bad decision based on these expectations. I can tell you these kids are often way more miserable than the kids that ended up receiving no offer.

I can tell you about the kid that was committed as a sophomore who happened to be with friends that were shop lifting jeans. She will always be remembered as the kid that threw it all away. The kids she was with, no one remembers.

I can tell you about the kid that took a dream scholly to a dream school. Showed up as a freshman to find 37 athletes there and a coach that was running her team like that show survivor. It was only about the alliances, talent meant little about play time. I can tell you about the kid that went to a school that was about three rungs above her academic ability. After flunking out fall sophomore semester, she came home spent christmas with her family, returned to school like nothing happened. She spend 3 weeks partying with friends and then called her parents and returned home, I can tell you about the kid that was a phenom high school pitcher, but a better hitter. Got invited to play at the school of her dreams, by January she was working at the gap, dropped out of school, moved our of her parents, and hated everything that was her life just 2 short years prior.

I can tell you about the people that were so kind to us, they took us by the burger joint Taryn Mowatt was cooking burgers at, just to remind us that getting 'your' deal is a part of the journey, not the end.

Not all stories are negative, there are certainly more than enough positive stories to make this definitely worth the effort.

It is a lot more like going on trip on the yellow brick road than it could possible ever seem when your kid is 13. As Elton John said in Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, you might find that your future lies beyond that yellow brick road.