13 yr old becomes youngest ever to verbal to UCLA

[Sam]

How about we say great job to the player! There is a young lady who is playing a sport and going to college! We are lucky in this country to have our daughters get these kind of opportunities! Google and see how women and young girls live in other places in the world! Even in our own country there are issues with drugs, alcohol, kids dropping out of school, etc! Why not celebrate positive accomplishments?!?!?
Again this young lady is playing and sport and will attend a well respected university to obtain her higher education!!!! Great job to the player and to the family!

I don't think it's anyone's intent to diminish the accomplishments of this child. We see the consequences of the college coaches' collective actions in pressuring a minor and her inexperienced parents, who are trying to do the best thing for their daughter, with nary a care about the possible negative ramifications associated with the expectations they place squarely upon the young lady's arm. This isn't about this particular family but more about the even younger children these coaches will continue to exploit if they are not stopped. It's not even about KP or UCLA. It's the big picture. There is a track record documenting the pressures that come with such an early commitment and the sometimes tragic results.
What is done in this case is done. Our attempts here are to try and educate parents of upcoming child prodigies that there is a definite downside to these situations. We all hope this child accomplishes all that she wants in life and at her chosen school. I feel for her parents who were placed in an untenable predicament by the exploitationists we call college softball coaches.

[Mark H]

Well yeah but when the college coaches don't want to do it but don't feel like they have a choice it seems to me you are casting stones at people whose shoes you have not walked in.

[newkid]

The new norm is obviously uncomfortable to those that have gone through it, but the wisdom these ol' farts are offering should be appreciated because even though recruiting is moving to an uncomfortable age, the game hasn't changed too much in the years++ I've been watching (cousins have earned 'the ride' and DD's are working hard too). Teams are still playing on the same fields, umpires still (sometimes) make HORRIBLE calls, many parents still live to hang out at the water cooler, some coaches still SHOW what a-holes they can be, etc. etc.
Sos' & family have probably heard enough of the pitfalls and will soon be dealing with many of the issues and pressures mentioned. Hopefully with the advice of the rock dwelling elders and a commitment to goals, their whole family can enjoy the happiness an opportunity like this brings. Best wishes x 4.

Also, thanks Squirrel for not hijacking the thread. That advice you have isn't really 'blind', so please make it back along with all the other OG Heybucket crew. And SAM.....no F bombs?

[Sam]

Well yeah but when the college coaches don't want to do it but don't feel like they have a choice it seems to me you are casting stones at people whose shoes you have not walked in.

Really, Mark. They're turning into glorified human traffickers. You know.....pimps don't really want to do it either.....they don't want to exploit little girls.....they do it because they have to.....to stay competitive. I haven't walked in their shoes either.

Who gives a $hit if they want to do it? They CHOOSE to do it. They KNOW the effects of it anthey STILL choose to do it.

Don't they have confidence in their ability to coach? Have none of them stepped back and checked the actual data? Do they really not know that the ultra young verbals don't equal championships? These are college graduates for Christ's sake. Pimps are uneducated and don't know any better. Every college coach likely took at least one class in psychology or sociology. They know.

[Hollow Grind]

Sam, that's an interesting analogy, but from my angle the college coaches are the johns and the travel ball coaches/orgs are the pimps.

[AlwaysImprove]

More than enough blame to go around for the current situation. Parents + TB Coaches + College Coaches. All three say "Hey what would you do if you were in my shoes?" Which is a reasonable question.

For me. Parents probably have the easiest fix. Take the coaches verbal and say nothing. You now have everything you possibly need. The verbal in hand, which should provide a reasonable path to a spot at that university. Maximum flexibility. Something changes down the road, you just make the change and pretend the verbal never happened. College coach can't really say crap.

Following squirrels lead, we did the same. Partially because DD was still occasionally making noise about quitting the sport. Not having the spectre of the public saying "She gave up on the best opportunity in the world. What an idiot." Partially because recruiting was a roller coaster for us, and we just happy to have a decision, did not really care what anyone else thought.

We told many of the people that mattered to us about the verbal. We did have people come up and demand proof of this rumored verbal. One even stated that if it is not announced, then it does not exist, somehow implying that NCAA does not have to honor unannounced verbals.

[Fastpitch4Life]

More than enough blame to go around for the current situation. Parents + TB Coaches + College Coaches. All three say "Hey what would you do if you were in my shoes?" Which is a reasonable question.

For me. Parents probably have the easiest fix. Take the coaches verbal and say nothing. You now have everything you possibly need. The verbal in hand, which should provide a reasonable path to a spot at that university. Maximum flexibility. Something changes down the road, you just make the change and pretend the verbal never happened. College coach can't really say crap.

Following squirrels lead, we did the same. Partially because DD was still occasionally making noise about quitting the sport. Not having the spectre of the public saying "She gave up on the best opportunity in the world. What an idiot." Partially because recruiting was a roller coaster for us, and we just happy to have a decision, did not really care what anyone else thought.

We told many of the people that mattered to us about the verbal. We did have people come up and demand proof of this rumored verbal. One even stated that if it is not announced, then it does not exist, somehow implying that NCAA does not have to honor unannounced verbals.

Hilarious!! Did these people have any suggestions for the proof? Secretly taped conversation or video?

[Mark H]

Sam I think you only see black and white in a world full of greys. If you had been a high level college coach and still walked the path you speak of I'd be more interested in your opinion on the matter but I do love your passion.

[AlwaysImprove]

Good point AI but how would the TB coaches get the feather in their cap if they did not announce how "they" got the kid a verbal.
Look at the Who is going where forum. How many coaches put the team name in the verbal announcement. Almost all. The only reason for that is to try and "sell" their team or organization.
If not then they would just post the year and players name along with the school.

Great point. Yes that will be an issue.

The org we were in did not really seem to put much energy in promoting based on recent recruits, so it was not directly an issue for us. As a result i do not have much practical experience with this issue.

I think for the established orgs, that marketing would be easily replaced. i would think those guys would do better posting something about a sophmore or junior in college that played ball for them and is now dominating a team. Parents that are reading here and other places have to be learning that just getting kids to commit, is only a small part of the equation. By moving up to the next level these orgs prove they have something, that they have successful recruits thriving in college. Smaller orgs are not able to match.

For the smaller orgs, I guess just let them put a mention on their website. Either they will grow to a more established org, at which point that single posting is buried, or they effectively cease to exist.

For me, it was very clear that announcing came with a large set of handcuffs. The people that were important to us, heard about it from us. Others heard rumors. Hard to say much if a kid changes direction if all they heard was a rumor.

[Sam]

Sam I think you only see black and white in a world full of greys. If you had been a high level college coach and still walked the path you speak of I'd be more interested in your opinion on the matter but I do love your passion.

Where is the gray? How can anyone justify putting this kind of pressure on a child? It only happens in the sick world we have created here in softball.....beauty pageants.....dance competitions.....cheer competitions.....gymnastics.....All created by parents who live in another world and exacerbated by "professional" coaches whom are all too willing to take these folks' money. Add the college coaches, whose jobs depend on winning without actually coaching and you have a perfect recipe for SNAFU.