What your daughters don't know about college

[exD1dad]

Interesting thread to come back to....the way the legal system treats rape victims, unreported rapes, date rape is a sad fact of life, & a good parent should "have the talk" & use advice given here. I was the victim of being "dosed" with ecstasy back in '91 & it is not fun & it freaked me out . One thing I haven't seen here that I told my oldest DD prior to going away to college is the danger of grain alcohol, tasteless with a knockout punch.

I will say as an ex bartender at world famous nightclubs restaurants & bars from houston to NYC to LA that alcohol changes everything & I've seen the type of young women who chase athletes, movie stars, executives, artists whatever but trust me they are a minority. TJBD I guess I'm in the 1% because i've hung out with college & Pro athletes as well as guys like sly Stallone so all though I know where you are coming from & seen it 1st handbut you're way way way off base in the numbers. Sure there's a certain percentage of kids at college that go nuts with their new found freedom from parental control they're the ones who usually flunk out. Also young testosterone fueled men who have succeeded have that "swagger" it takes & tend to think very highly of themselves, especially baseball players

I will point out I believe with the sexualization of life through a media that is disturbingly getting worse & worse morals wise that younger females are exposed to & adopt promiscuity more nowadays than ever before & at earlier ages. Factors like less traditional families, less attendance at church also play a role in how things my parents taught me that I passed on to my children are being eroded out of the American way of life as everyone wants attention and their 15 minutes of fame,

Donnie, when i was in the Texas State Guard they taught us that if we are scared for our life & shoot someone through the door, no need to drag them in, just tell the truth the Lone Star State is a lot different than several others. I both dated & had girlfriends in TX who had handguns in their purse of car & they all said the same thing, "I can shoot, my Daddy taught me"

[Pale Rider]

.........I know that most are not "nuts". I am amazed you posted that.

NOBODY said they were all sex crazed fiends...All it takes is one...
My parents ingrained me with the fact, I would be non surgically neutered if I did something dumb...non surgically meant a pocket knife...

Don't think there's some forked up people in this world?...Go here...Search your location...*caveat* some of those charges to some of those folks are ridiculous...http://www.nsopw.gov/?AspxAutoDetectCookieSupport=1

The ONLY thing you can do is teach your DDs to not be a victim, how to recognize people and situations they don't need to be a part of...watch an MTV show on spring break if you need to know 'avoid most of this' means...pole dancing and 'twerking' are not an alternative exercise program in the public when alcohol is flowing...

I *think* most of us are on the same sheet of music...But thinking just letting the schools 'fix' that problem...and some 'policy' should be written is sticking your head up your 4th point of contact....And ignoring the facts...

And its not always the males fault...No does mean no, but isn't that like putting the seat belt on after the head on crash?...
Eve was told NO about the apple...how'd that work out?

[Atindell]

There are more dangers than just the athletes for girls at school. There are a ton of predators out there. Alcohol, date rape drugs.... etc beware. You don't need to look long or hard to find sites specifically dedicated to taking advantage of women. Have 3 girls, and frankly it's scary. Arm them with the tools they need to recognogize a tool.

For the commenters saying implying it's a 2 way street....... I think your lost!

[Pale Rider]

For the commenters saying implying it's a 2 way street....... I think your lost!

And the bear that ate that dumbass Tim Treadwell is 100% at fault also...?

[CheckWriter]

I am more than willing to let the women's liberation efforts grind away on this for another 50 years and see if gets any better.

Why not advocate for change? Even if just on a softball discussion board. Maybe if more people did that, your granddaughters might benefit instead of your great great granddaughters.

I did a lot of deferred gratification to do research in nuclear medicine instrumentation and cancer applications and didn't like how indirect my contribution was so I went to Med School and am now a radiation oncologist and a significant portion of my practice is treating childhood cancer. I treat all the kids that come through our practice. The others refuse because it is "too hard to deal with". Somebody has to step up.

It is a lot less OK to drive drunk than it was 20 years ago. That is because people, MADD comes to mind, started getting pissed off about it. After all, it is the alcohol's fault that that the driver killed somebody, not the driver.

How about stopping blaming alcohol and sluts and whores and putting the responsibility where it belongs - the perpetrators. Why is it that no posters or sons of posters would ever do such a thing and treat women with the utmost respect at all times but it is the woman's fault when it does happen? It is pure, unadulterated BS. Message you are sending is clear. It is just feeding in to supporting the status quo.

Many posters give 10 time more crap to parents that think their DDs are good players - maybe even a little better than they really are - than to guys that sexually assault women.

At least frickin' condemn the situation, go on record, stop making excuses and accepting. Pathetic.

Off my soap box.

Just watch it if you haven't:
http://youtu.be/KTvSfeCRxe8

[Hurricane]

Why not advocate for change? Even if just on a softball discussion board. Maybe if more people did that, your granddaughters might benefit instead of your great great granddaughters.

At least frickin' condemn the situation, go on record, stop making excuses and accepting. Pathetic.

Hey now, Checkwriter! That's just plain crazy talk!

Advocating change for the betterment of children/adolescent girls?

Be careful. The old geezers of TB softball will be all over you for suggesting a change for the better. I had tried to get a discussion about making TB softball more transparent for the children and parents by making TB coaches answer a series of questions to give out to prospects at tryouts. Wow! You would think that I was advocating the overthrow the U.S. Government!

[Sam]

I am more than willing to let the women's liberation efforts grind away on this for another 50 years and see if gets any better.

Why not advocate for change? Even if just on a softball discussion board. Maybe if more people did that, your granddaughters might benefit instead of your great great granddaughters.

I did a lot of deferred gratification to do research in nuclear medicine instrumentation and cancer applications and didn't like how indirect my contribution was so I went to Med School and am now a radiation oncologist and a significant portion of my practice is treating childhood cancer. I treat all the kids that come through our practice. The others refuse because it is "too hard to deal with". Somebody has to step up.

It is a lot less OK to drive drunk than it was 20 years ago. That is because people, MADD comes to mind, started getting pissed off about it. After all, it is the alcohol's fault that that the driver killed somebody, not the driver.

How about stopping blaming alcohol and sluts and whores and putting the responsibility where it belongs - the perpetrators. Why is it that no posters or sons of posters would ever do such a thing and treat women with the utmost respect at all times but it is the woman's fault when it does happen? It is pure, unadulterated BS. Message you are sending is clear. It is just feeding in to supporting the status quo.

Many posters give 10 time more crap to parents that think their DDs are good players - maybe even a little better than they really are - than to guys that sexually assault women.

At least frickin' condemn the situation, go on record, stop making excuses and accepting. Pathetic.

Off my soap box.

Just watch it if you haven't:
http://youtu.be/KTvSfeCRxe8

Thanks for bringing up The alcohol since nobody here has actually blamed alcohol for these issues. We have talked about the young women who abuse alcohol being held accountable in the legal system........just like drunk drivers are now.

The issue is the girls' behavior can be a contribute to causing some of the events. They can control their own destinies in most instances by avoiding behaviors that place them I situations where they may be assaulted.

That is the change you need to be supporting along with the boys changing their behaviors.

No does mean No. No alcohol, no slutty clothes, no casual oral sex, no frat parties, no attack.

[DonnieS]

My approach , as an old geezer , was pretty basic. I spoke to my two sons, on different occasions, they are 13 years apart, in this plain language, "The only person who hits a woman - is a pussy. Pure and plain, a pussy, the lowest kind of man on earth, not even a man. And the closest to that pussy, is the man who touches a woman after she doesnt want you to touch her." I know, I know, bad choice of words , its the generation I come from. I was very adamant with my oldest, because his mother, my ex-wife was physically abusive, to me for sure, I never saw it against our two kids. I heard there was a confrontation with the mom some years later - where my my oldest daughter used the same language against her mother when she was out of control , against her youngest sister, actually her half sister. So I know it took.

My talk about drugs, was the same, my words, were "If you touch that shit, I will kick your ass." I lived it by resigning from probably the most lucrative situation I was ever in to that point when "our leader" was caught doing coke on the glass on his desk. We found out that the company's "property manager" (our company was a software education shop - everyone needs a company property manager right) - was extremely high paid. But you cant talk the talk if you dont walk the walk.

To me, hearing what my daughters say about the majority of male athletes, this same kind of approach, would be best served by having it come from coaches - since too many dads were more worried about the sons batting average that about their sons attitude toward girls, women, etc. I know thats passing it from where it should be done, but a lot of guys respect their coaches and it could be a start. It could start at high school coaches, and work its way up.

[Pale Rider]

Amen DonnieS!
And to the post about 'Old Geezers' against change...The whiners say 'we need more laws, more regulation'...
Laws are ALREADY in place...The problem is...PEOPLE don't obey them...
So hell, by all means make MORE laws...And your NEVER going to change people...ever
OK, I want something done!!!!...Lets make it a CAPITAL OFFENSE...You can make signs and parade etc..Its just talk
...and while its not cool to drive drunk...I bet theres a TON of drunk drivers on the road tonight...and serial murderers...and rapists...lets publicly execute the kids playing the knockout game!
Pitch forks and torches!!!!!

Rape is ILLEGAL, drugs are illegal...oops...whiners want pot legal...but cry when they steal your car radio when they need money to buy it...murder is illegal...so lets ban guns...like criminals who shoot people wont have them?...Sorta like the people in MO who want a HUGE Govt ...and then whine when the HUGE govt steps on their neck...doesnt matter if its a right boot or a left boot when its on your throat...Sort of off topic, but thats a WHOLE other novel to write...

I have a brand new Buck skinning knife...hasnt had blood on it yet...sharp as a razor...make it legal and I'll 'fix' any young man who needs fixin'...One pull and a swipe and I can end his testosterone issues...
But...hmmm...Why is it new?...
Because, last March I left my truck door unlocked, parked in my own driveway...and some upstanding citizen stole my old knife, about $40, a Garmin GPS...also my DD's GPS and one of her State Championship rings from her car, my wifes GPS and her collection of old geezers wife CD's...all were in driveway and all unlocked...GPS is plain view on my windshield.
Stealing is illegal...isn't it?...WOW! Why would somebody not go by the rules...because they're damned thieves...
...but part of it is my fault....I gave them the chance to steal from us...SO my loss is partly my fault...They wouldn't have gotten in my vehicles if they were locked and the alarms would have went off if they had 'broken in'...
(That would have been a very sad event if that had happened cause me and my buddy...Ruger Mini 14 would have sent them on a journey which IS legal here)

Same situation if you don't educate your children to not allow an opportunity...for a rapist...cause they're out there, and all the laws in the world isnt gonna change that...

Point is...ITS ALREADY ILLEGAL...should more be done?...Sure...Are you gonna stop it?...HELL NO!
I have an idea...make some meme's with a sad picture #stopcollegerape...
Be almost as effective as the FLOTUS's #bringbackourgirls bullshit...when the Muslims (NOT a race so dont holler racism)
kidnapped (illegal) the girls from Kenya...or have you already forgotten them...?

[Tyler Durden]

Why not advocate for change? Even if just on a softball discussion board. Maybe if more people did that, your granddaughters might benefit instead of your great great granddaughters.

At least frickin' condemn the situation, go on record, stop making excuses and accepting. Pathetic.

Hey now, Checkwriter! That's just plain crazy talk!

Advocating change for the betterment of children/adolescent girls?

Be careful. The old geezers of TB softball will be all over you for suggesting a change for the better. I had tried to get a discussion about making TB softball more transparent for the children and parents by making TB coaches answer a series of questions to give out to prospects at tryouts. Wow! You would think that I was advocating the overthrow the U.S. Government!

Awesome. I didn't think you could do it, but you went for it anyway, and managed to spin this discussion into your mission statement. You are shameless, and I couldn't be more excited for you. Well played.