Things you wish you could say at a game.

[Dugout Dad]

Rarely, on occasion, I say similar things and I am surprised that I get no reaction from those around me, then I notice that thankfully my lips didn't move.

[Lunatic Fringe]

My personal favorite is "Try not to suck"

AJ Pierzynski had a good one when he told to blue to "pick one out that you can see" when the blue was digging around in his ball bag for another ball

[Safebyahare]

"My kids is always rainbows and unicorns at 4am."
"My kid is so awesome, she loads the truck up form me."
"Of course coach, she loves to wake up at 4am to come out here and watch the other girls play."
"Coach I walked into the living room and she was sitting there doing nothing, I asked her what she was doing, and she said she was practicing for your team."
"Of course our family is committed."
"My dd sits so much she brings a seat cushion ."
"She carries a reserved sign to hang above bench."
"Other kids get trophies, mine gets a bucket."

[Pale Rider]

"No it is Ok she has a separate Bio sheet box than the rest of her team"
"No ma'am your braying (cheering) doesnt sound like a mules has its scrotum hung in barbed wire"

[Safebyahare]

"I've seen better swings at a playground."
"A ball rolling in the dugout is not playing time."
"This team needs a cold pitcher."
"Wish they would call my kid out,,,,,,of the dugout."
"Home made salsa? Thank you Mrs. Pace."
"Oh goody, yes please give me the patty that has been soaking the longest."
"Oh boy, another fundraiser."

[guero_gordo]

Q. Why does that family always travel in multiple vehicles? A. Terms of their parole.
Have we ever considered a game plan where we score first and stay ahead?
Blue, instead of postponing the inevitable, can you do us all a favor and just throw our coach out now?
The girl is 2'6" and has no strike zone, is it wrong to just save three pitches and plunk her?
Good thing this isn't a rugby match, those girls are huge.
She must have gotten the ball over the tan dusty part of the plate.

[fastpitchforever]

"Lady, if you hollar one more time cause your team got a hit off my kid, I'd gonna deck you"
"Coach, shouting at your pitcher to throw strikes really doesn't help"
" Really coach, me shouting cliche's like "keep your eye on the ball" and "pick a good pitch to hit" is not coaching from the stands"

[exD1dad]

Actor Peter Falk AKA "Columbo" while playing double or triple A in the '50's got thrown out sliding into first base, popped out his glass eye, held it out to the blue & said "Here you need this more than I do"

[CoachDave]

Are you aware that you are speaking out loud and we can all hear you? I was just checking because I wasn't sure if you knew....

The two innings where your daughter made critical errors on routine plays that cost two runs and the at bats where she struck out looking....uh...those WERE her opportunities...

You can talk to your player in the car afterwards....no need to meander behind the dugout after each at bat or use secret signs to communicate during the game...she'll be OK...

I'm not completely sure, but I'm pretty sure that the time out with base runners on the corners, the important mound conference taking place, and all the players trying badly to act normal, means you are about to try the trick play that never works.

We really missed your family at the last tournament. Not!

I know your daughter can play all positions, but maybe she should focus on one or two spots or what the team needs instead of always wanting to be where she isn't.

Since you screamed the question so loudly from the stands, let me scream the answer back, No! your daughter will not be playing catcher in this game!

Yes, yes,...we all understand that your daughter works harder than every other child on the planet... and no one else seems to be trying as hard or has the same level of desire to win as she does.

I am so incredibly sorry that you must share a car ride home with your father and fast pitch analyst after the game.

[rbi]

(3rd base coach ),"keep your hands inside the ball", When is last time you seen me make contact when the hands were OUTSIDE the ball (hitter?


(3rd base coach), "make an adjustment Sally!"....., ok care to fill me in (hitter)?

(3rd base coach), "GO< GO GO< NO NO BACK BACK BACK!, ....seriously (runner)?

(3rd base coach), "Hit your pitch"...... im kind of confused right now on what that pitch is (hitter)?

(3rd base coach). "if one more runner makes the last out at 3rd base we are going to run after game", ..... hmmm coach you sent me btw (runner)....

PARENT- "my kid has full ride offer to any school in the country"........ thats so awesome! (me)

Freshman HS Parent- "yea my kid got a call from the Univ of **** (top school)......... thats so awesome! (me)

PARENT- My kid runs a 2.6 home to first......... thats so awesome (me)

PARENT- My kid has 6 pitchs and touchs 65pmh and she is 12yrs old...... thats so awesome (me)