Cyber Bullying of athete

[MTR]

I know this isn't going to be a popular opinion, but I don't buy into this.

Bullying is mean and cruel, but short of physical confrontation, I don't understand the commotion.

And "cyber" bullying? Give the authorities what information they need and move on. Running does nothing, but give the bully exactly what they were out to accomplish.

Somebody doesn't like you? So what? Who cares? Kids need to learn to worry about their lives, not what someone else feels about it. What happens when you daughters move on to college or the real world? Who is going to look out for their feelings then?

It is said that signs used to be held up at Georgetown basketball games that read "Patrick Ewing Can't Read This Sign". Seems to me that was more of an incentive than a detriment. Don't let them win. Keep going, live your own life and let them wallow in their misery.

Here's a thought. Getting nasty e-mails? Don't read them! Block the sender. Getting annoying phone calls or IM's? Give the info to the authorities and change your number. Yeah, you shouldn't have to, but what is your alternative, you're going to need to do it anyway.

But the priority here is to teach the children the irrelevance of the acts of the bullies.

JMHO

[DonnieS]

>> And "cyber" bullying? <<

Wow, I guess I underestimated the value of having my oldest daughter as a USMC sniper.

[slim00]

>> And "cyber" bullying? <<

Wow, I guess I underestimated the value of having my oldest daughter as a USMC sniper.

Sniper? Far out.

[DonnieS]

She didnt actually get into the sniper school - but tried very hard. We let the little hardbody sxxxheads that come over to takeout her sisters see her shooting and infantry badges. Her husband gets a kick out of his buds coming over to get her to come to the firing range to sight in their deer rifles.

[coolstuff]

Bullying of any kind is a serious subject. Bullying among girls is often done under the radar. Boys duke it out and get it over with. Girls hurt each other through relationships. I suggest EVERY parent of a daughter read these books:

Odd Girl Out by Rachel Simmons

Totally Wired by Anastasia Goodstein

I too have some horror stories to tell about cyberbulling but thankfully they were short-lived and didn't affect schoolwork. As responsible parents we must be aware of what our children are doing online. That doesn't mean we become cyber-cops, but we do need to at least keep the lines of communication open with our children and initiate conversations about online safety.

My oldest daughter who is a sophomore in HS has mostly given up IMing and MySpace because of the issues she got involved in.

[coolstuff]

I know this isn't going to be a popular opinion, but I don't buy into this.

Bullying is mean and cruel, but short of physical confrontation, I don't understand the commotion.

And "cyber" bullying? Give the authorities what information they need and move on. Running does nothing, but give the bully exactly what they were out to accomplish.

MTR, you have not seen the effects of what unchecked bullying can do to a child's life. We're not talking about isolated incidents like you mention. We're talking about long term, calculated and well-planned bullying. Girls bully each other differently than boys. Boys duke it out and move on. Girls bully through relationships. A typical "mean girl" draws another girl in by making her think they are "friends" then begins to literally tear the other girl's life apart. I know of girls who have had to transfer to another school to escape emotional torture. Read the two books I recommend and then tell us that it isn't an issue.

And I hope that if your DD is ever bullied, that you don't tell her that it's "irrelevant." It certainly won't be "irrelevant" to her.

[Sftbll4ever]

Coolstuff, good stuff.

My dd did stick it out to prove that she could not be bullied, but it was not good. Depression, not caring, horrible. For a young child (7th grade) having to hear that you are going to get your a$$ kicked everyday, getting text messages, myspace was horrible. We even considered video taping our house incase something happened. Good thing is I have the passwords to my dd's myspace and I can go on whenever I want. I did get on and went to some of their pages and was able to print out the well planned out beating of one of my dd's friends. It was at that point though that I found out that most of them were affraid of my dd. I pointed it out to her and that is why she was not longer wanting to leave the school, but stick up for herself.

What kids don't understand is that with the texting and myspace threats, you can easily trace them and they are a criminal act if the action is acted upon. Bad thing is, police and school officials will not do anything until they are beaten. Sad, just sad.

[ice_67]

MTR, Did you actually read the article? This girl was harassed for 3 years. Notes stuck to her locker, letters mailed home and much much more. Athletic jealousy and ethnic intolerance were the reason. This girl tried to stick it out for 3 years!! It wasn't until fake pornographic images of her were posted on the internet that she and her father said enough is enough and made the change to a new school.

3 years of this girls life was spent scared, sad, singled out. But she continued in her sport trying not to let it get the best of her. And she managed to continue to excel. She is extraordinary and we should all wish our dd's have character like hers.

No child should spend her or his tween years this way. NO CHILD.

MTR, You are ignorant and naive to think that bullying just goes away if you turn evidence over to authorities. Do us all a favor and visit the below website and educate yourself on the issue.

http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/tweens/index.html

[MTR]

MTR, Did you actually read the article?

Did you read the subject line? Did you read my post? Do you know to what cyber refers?

MTR, You are ignorant and naive to think that bullying just goes away if you turn evidence over to authorities.

Believe what you want. I only mentioned giving the evidence to the authorities because that is a standard "feel good" response of Americans. I lived a fair amount of my childhood in fear of others. Then I adopted the attitude that I just didn't care what others did or thought. I still live that way which is why I really don't give a damn what you call me. I know where I stand in my life. What you do with yours is only one person's business, yours. Good luck.

BTW, both of my children suffered comparative childhood problems that have been described in this thread, but quickly learned to find true friends and not worry about the "cool" kids and what they thought or did.

[coolstuff]

BTW, both of my children suffered comparative childhood problems that have been described in this thread, but quickly learned to find true friends and not worry about the "cool" kids and what they thought or did.

If the only thing your children had to worry about was what the "cool kids" thought about them, then they did not experience the kind of bullying that is described in these posts or any of the linked articles and books. This is not just about rejection from a social group. I'm glad your children were never the targets of true bullying, and it certainly sounds like they were not unless you have more details to add to prove otherwise. But don't minimize the effects of serious, long-term bullying and cyber-bulling based on your children's experiences.