Best one-liners in Softball

[Bruwinfan]

What are the best one liners you've heard about softball (on or off the field)? Some of my favorites, with all due reverence to the originator, are classic "Thaynisms". Sayings like "You have to be smarter than the ball", or at a 3-game friendly, "You gotta win 1 to win 3".... We started to keep track of them in the scorebook.... Yogi would be proud.....

[DonnieS]

When dd moved up, we went to a 70 team USFA tournament in Florida, 14u, she was 11, and small. As all these 5 . 10 inch tall, blue eye blonde hair southern belles were walking around looking down at her all, 5.1 inches of her, I was trying to think of something encouraging to say to her, knowing she was going to be pitching to them, she looked at a group of these amazons, and said 'Sure is a lot of strike zone around here, Dad.'

[number19]

When dd moved up, we went to a 70 team USFA tournament in Florida, 14u, she was 11, and small. As all these 5 . 10 inch tall, blue eye blonde hair southern belles were walking around looking down at her all, 5.1 inches of her, I was trying to think of something encouraging to say to her, knowing she was going to be pitching to them, she looked at a group of these amazons, and said 'Sure is a lot of strike zone around here, Dad.'

Nice! Smart girl.

[DonnieS]

When dd moved up, we went to a 70 team USFA tournament in Florida, 14u, she was 11, and small. As all these 5 . 10 inch tall, blue eye blonde hair southern belles were walking around looking down at her all, 5.1 inches of her, I was trying to think of something encouraging to say to her, knowing she was going to be pitching to them, she looked at a group of these amazons, and said 'Sure is a lot of strike zone around here, Dad.'

Nice! Smart girl.

I was just thinking about that day and I remembered the second thing she said 'Dad, how about heading over to Academy and get me a mouthpiece.'.

[almosthuman]

Coach to an umpire, "Just because it was a good play it doesn't mean it was an out!"

[BetheBest]

How about for an umpire " Hey Blue, even Cyclops had one Good eye "

Or "Hey blue, check you cell phone, you missed another call"

[hotwheels]

"It is what it is" is my favorite one liner and I say it at least 25 times per day

[etx bd]

Was coaching a 10u rec ball team several years ago and one of my players was a very scrappy country girl with a lot of heart but not much experience. She was at bat and I was coaching 1st. She had swung way behind the 1st fast ball and fouled off the 2nd. She and I just knew she was about to connect with this one. Pitcher threw a nice change. She swung with all she had about a day and a half ahead of that pitch. She looked open mouthed at the ump and the pitcher. She marched about half way down the first base line and indignantly announced in the deepest East Texas drawl "Coach, she slowed that dowwnnn!"

[Izzy's Dad]

2 of my favorites:

"Swing hard, just in case you hit it"

And to a pitcher who has a batter crowding the plate, "If your gonna hit her, make it hurt"

[Sam]

To batter after a popup..."that is an elephant's ass....it's high and it stinks"

To umpire..."if you had one more eye, you'd be a cyclops"