Same old story... but why?

[anonlooker]

I find myself in the middle of the same old story... DD (12u, P/SS) joins team based on promise of pitching time, team plays, DD doesn't pitch, team swept from tourney in 4, coach offers no explanation.

(And please, I don't want this to become one of those 'sour grapes' threads, I'm really only trying to find some clarity and insight from those of you who have been around TB for a good long while.)

That's the short version, heard / told / experienced countless times by others, I'm sure. I won't bore you with the details (see next "paragraph below" if you really want to know) because I'm sure many of you have heard it all before, but I can't help but wonder... why do coaches do this? They must know it won't sit well with the player or her parents, and that it won't engender trust among the team (and the parents), so why bother with the charade?

"Paragraph Below" (for those who haven't heard the story before, or who enjoy hearing it over and over)
DD tries out for several teams, each is informed we're there looking for pitching time. Several teams offer pitching time. Family decides on team based on A: assurance of pitching time B: combination of - coaching, DD's compatibility with other girls (how well they all get along), team schedule and goals, location, etc etc.
Team practices for a month, DD develops bonds with players, is in the circle during practice to learn all the signs, signals, pick-offs, cut-offs, etc. All throughout, coach maintains DD will be pitching, along with 2 other girls, we'd be going with 3 arms. All the girls are fine with this.
Come Game Day, coach has 2 other girls warm up, puts DD at SS, she plays her heart out, but can't help but wonder what's going on. Come Elimination Day, again, DD doesn't even warm up, plays infield, never questions coach, is left with a couple of bruises: one a little bigger than a softball due to a HBP, the other to her ego.
We get home that afternoon, Mom learns DD didn't pitch, is livid because she wouldn't cut a check to the team until coach assured her DD would pitch. I give coach a call and ask what's up, he says DD might pitch, will probably pitch, not sure if she's going to pitch, yada yada yada, team had a better chance of winning with DD on infield.

So again, why do coaches do this? Do they expect a 12U kid to give up pitching lessons and her dream of pitching in college? Or simply take the season off (at 12u?)? Do they expect the kids to trust them? or ever believe anything they say? Are they so desperate for good ballplayers that they lie to keep them around for a while, and then hope they won't go to the trouble of looking for another team? If they know the only reason the girl joined the team was based on their word that she would pitch, shouldn't they at least make an attempt to explain what changed in the plan, to try to stave off problems in the future? What good is coach is he doesn't keep is word and makes no effort to communicate with the kid or family? What are the kids supposed to take away (learn) from these situations?

These are questions I'm asking myself, and maybe they're not the right questions, but I simply don't get it... and since this isn't exactly uncommon, maybe some of you coaches could shed some light on what kind of thinking results in these situations. And what advice you might have.

Thanks.

[artomatic]

to give you an accurate opinion, I would have to see your team, your kid, and the other pitchers for an extended amount of time.
If your kid has been given a chance to compete, does well enough to earn pitching time, but doesn't get it, then there is a problem. if she has been given a chance, but has not performed well enough to earn pitching time, then you need to be realistic. Again, without having seen the dynamics of your team, I can't tell you one way or another.

If your kid's coach made you promises, then that was the first red flag you should have seen. In my opinion, unless Cat Osterman walks into a tryout, a coach should never make any promises except to tell a parent that their kid will be given a chance to compete on the team. If the coach is true to his/her word, they will earn respect and credibility. If a coach makes empty promises, the word will get out and they will only recruit new families who aren't aware of their track record...I've also had families not come on board or leave the team because I refused to promise them something...
It amazes me all the stories I hear about coaches promising #1 catching positions, #1 pitching positions, lead off positions, etc...that only leads to trouble down the road.

just my opinion. hope you can find what you are looking for.

[Cookie]

Arto writes: I would have to see your team, your kid, and the other pitchers for an extended amount of time.

What some people do to try to get players

[jofus]

Maybe they're planning on using 2 pitchers every weekend, and the next tournament your DD will be one of the 2? Although, you would think he would have told you that when you called him

Hopefully I won't have a similar story next month when our tournaments start

[Kat]

I find myself in the middle of the same old story... DD (12u, P/SS) joins team based on promise of pitching time, team plays, DD doesn't pitch, team swept from tourney in 4, coach offers no explanation.


Thanks.

I personally wont even consider playing for a team who promises time anywhere. My personal opinion is that all the girls need to earn it. My personal experience, because if he is promising you that he is promising everyone!!.

[softballtaxi]

sorry, just have to ask:

Are the other two pitchers coaches kids?

[LisaLu21]

I don't believe a coach should have to explain... there are many reasons for his decision and you should respect it. I personally would never allow my dd to play for a team in which a coach makes promises. Everything should be earned. I would attend the next tournament get a feel for the team myself and then make my decision on what is best for my DD. One ? have you asked your dd her opinion? Is she happy? I know she is 12 but her opinion is very important. Good Luck with her future it appears she is a good athlete, in that her other position is short.

[SoftballJunkie2]

ok, I understand not questioning a coach - but I believe the coach has an obligation to explane to the athlete AND the parents why she is not pitching. If the coach promise or led you to believe she would have a shot at pitching, it is the least he/she could do to explain why she isn't. And personnally, I do not buy the she is more valuable at SS. That may be true, but as another person mentioned, that is what pool play is for.

Any athlete that puts the effort to pitch should at least get an honest explanation of why she is not pitching. Then even as a parent - you can decide to believe the critizism or not but you know what to work on.

It is also early in the season. See if she can earn her pitching time. That is what my DD had to do. When moving teams, she has been the #3 pitcher - as described by the coach in try-outs. But she earned her time and did quite well.

Just my 2 cents.

[wadeintothem]

If your kid's coach made you promises, then that was the first red flag you should have seen. In my opinion, unless Cat Osterman walks into a tryout, a coach should never make any promises except to tell a parent that their kid will be given a chance to compete on the team.

A "Cat Osterman" parent would not be worrying about it, because that kid would be the starting pitcher. The top shelf dominate pitchers are on the plate.

If you have 3 mediocre pitchers, then its a coin flip. If one of them is a real good SS.. well guess what?

[2bucketdad]

90% of coaches play the best kids where they need them when they need them, the other 10% are the daddy ballers. You have a couple choices of what you can do teach your dd to if she wants to be the starting pitcher to make sure that she out works the others and consistantly gives 100% and shows she is the domanate pitcher, the other is for you to start a team.