If I had it to do over again..........

[justthinking]

Please complete this sentence: If I had it to do all over again, I would do this:

My DD is in her first year of 14's. I would love/appreciate any insightful info from those of you whose daughters are nearing the end of their travel softball career, or are already done. Hindsight is always 20/20, so I would love to hear what some of you have to say about what you would do differently looking back. Thank you in advance!! GO!!!!

[jtat32]

Flip the amount of family focus, attention, support, etc., that we have given to sports and academics. Not that any of my kids have issues academically, but the relative family time that we spend on each is way out of whack.

That said, kids sports, to me, is all about learning how to be self-driven and goal-oriented. They are generally pretty good about applying that to their schoolwork.

[AlwaysImprove]

Don't take it so serious it is just a game.

Think you are in it for the scholarship? You have already set yourself up for failure.

Junior year in HS was almost too young for my kid to make the decision she made. Now 8th graders are verballing?

Keep your kid in sports, cause if you don't they end up hanging with these kids. (caution some foul language is used, then at the end one girl hits the other in the head with a shovel).
http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/this-girl-fight-is-the-best-comedy-and-action-movie-of-1571846066

[fastpitchdad05]

Two things off the top of my head...

First and foremost...Make SURE you listen to your DD and pick a school that she wants to go to, not where YOU want her to go.

Second and far less important...My advice is to not rush your DD to an 18U/Gold team. My DD went 18's in her 2nd year of 14U. If I had to do it again I would have tried to get her on a top-tier 16U team because they get looked at by colleges a lot more than 18's. BTW...she is a junior now in HS and about to play her 3rd year at 18's (almost always batting somewhere 3-6 and could still play 16's this summer) and in this age of early verbals is just barely getting looked at now.

I told a friend today on the phone that when it was all said and done I was going to write a book on how NOT to get your DD recruited.

That said, I am 100% sure that it will all work out just fine in the end.

Enjoy the ride. It goes by so fast. And remember...in the end you just want your daughter to be healthy, happy and still look at you with love and respect in her eyes.

[slapperdad]

If college is the goal, I think the biggest decisions as a parent are knowing when to push and when to back off. There are social events and other things in her life that may seem insignificant to you, but mean a great deal to her. Know when to let her take off and when to say you need to play/practice/do X Softball related. There's no magic formula, no one knows your kid as well as you do.

Make sure you have scheduled downtime. For instance my DD played HS BB as well as Softball. We always took a month off after nationals, so basically the month of August she didn't touch a Softball. Then went hard during the fall. Our fall season in the midwest usually ends the last weekend of October. At that point she took off November and December to play BB. We would start hitting the first of January, pretty easy to work hitting around BB schedule. BB would end in mid-February and then we would hit it hard until the end of summer.

We mostly thru dumb luck managed to get it right for the most part and it all worked out for her. She's at a school where she would want to go even without Softball, and she's getting a fair chunk of it paid for.

[coolstuff]

1. Buy the best cooler money can buy. You'll save money on ice in the long run.
2. Buy the best folding/camp chair you can buy. Those chairs that fold up and fit into a bag are junk. Buy a sturdy chair and you'll get seasons of use out of it.

But seriously... I agree with everything said so far. It really boils down to "listen to your daughter." This really is about her, and not about what you want to brag at the water cooler (or Facebook, depending on your preference).

One thing to always keep in mind is this: For 99.99% of college softball players, their softball careers end at graduation. So pick a school and division level that is right for your daughter. Concentrate on academic scholarships, not athletic scholarships. Her college years should be about preparing for a career and life, and playing college ball is just icing on the cake. My DD is having the time of her life, having a great sophomore year at the D3 level, making friendships that will last a lifetime, studying for a career that is her passion, playing for some of the best and most caring coaches you will find, and preparing for the NCAA Regionals this weekend.

I cannot ask for anything more.

[jonriv]

There is not too much I would change- wish she got into travel maybe a year earlier. Even more emphasis on grades. I wish I would have been on Hey Bucket 2 years earlier-would have made the learning process easier and faster. I think I also would have had more of a deaf ear to the "bragging" parents I met along the way(none whose dd's currently play in college)

[coachjwb]

Two things here also ...

1) Got her on better travel teams with better coaches earlier
2) Not taking coaching and wins and losses so seriously when they were young

[artomatic]

Alot of good advice in these replies...

Personally, if I could do it again, I would give my kid more rest and down time.
I would let her find a better balance between playing, practicing softball and social events, parties, dances, etc.
I would worry less about keeping up with the Joneses as far as recruiting goes.

I would not change the quality time we have been able to spend with our kids.

Because of my kid's hard work, and dumb luck on her parents' part, it has worked out far better than I could have ever imagined so far.
She has just finished her freshman year of college and is in her last week of her regular season of softball with a chance to make postseason.
She loves her school, team, players and coaches.
She is fairly certain what she is going to major in, after watching a year of upperclassmen.

As others have said, stop and smell the roses because it goes by in the blink of an eye...

[LHC]

What a Great Topic! I did get a chance to do it over again because I had 2 daughters that both played club ball.

#1 The oldest is now a senior at ASU and not playing softball. The youngest is heading off to Colorado to play for a top D2 program. I pushed like heck on the oldest daughter. I committed to support and facilitate the youngest daughter on what ever she wanted to do with this sport. I know each kid has different personalities but I believe that it was me that had something to do with my oldest not wanting to continue to the next level. Hold them accountable but let the coaches push.

#2 Get your kid to College Camps early and often. Great way for the coaches to interact with the players and make decisions quickly. take them to schools that you know and they know that they can compete. Do not take your sophomore to ASU or UA thinking there is a shot. If you were not in front of any PAC 12 school in the 7th or 8th grade then there is very little chance of getting an offer to play there. Focus on a mid level d1 or d2.

Hope it helps and just my .02

LHC